My 10 year old son is seeking the attention from his father, who live about 4 hours away from us. He hardly ever calls him, and thinks that just because the state takes out less than $200 out of his check every month for support, that's all he needs to do. I've tried everything I can think of... meeting him half way, bringing my son ALL the way to him, and giving him gas money to come see his own son. I have 2 younger children by a different marriage, and I can't even find their father, so since I have contact with this one I want to make it work for my son. But the father acts like he just doesn't want to be inconvienced. I have NO feelings for this man (we dated in school), I just want my son to have a daddy. He deserves that. But what can I do to make the father want to be daddy?
2007-10-31 03:22:51 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Its up to him, only he can control his feelings/actions
2007-10-31 04:11:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi hon...
You can't control anyone else's behaviors, except your own.
If your son is distressed over this, perhaps consider some therapy for him, so he can see it's NOT his fault. Sometimes children carry the blame because of an absent parent, and a therapist can help a child to "SEE" the situation for what it is, and to help him let go of the blame.
I know, i had the same type of issue with my son, took him to a therapist... Not only did he evolve into a loving, caring individual, but he learned to accept the fact that everyone isn't always going to be "there" for him, not even his own dad.
Sad but true. We have to take whatever life gives us. And i know, that sometimes it's hard... hugs
2007-10-31 10:30:05 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's so sad for your son. There is nothing you can do to make him be a better father. Don't over extend yourself for someone who is clearly not interested in his own child. My suggestion to you, is find a male role model for your son. An older boy, a male relative, Big brother/big sister foundation, etc.. Don't let an absent parent keep your son from developing a healthy male relationship!
2007-10-31 10:35:11 · answer #3 · answered by Aumatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex has made his bed and layed in it! Your son deserves to have his father in his life, but you can't force your ex to see his son! Your ex needs to take full responsibility for his actions by being a man, help you take care of your son, and establishing a relationship with his son! Besides, if your ex isn't interested in having a relationship with his son, then he will regret it for the rest of his life! Your son will NOT respect him if he continues to make a fool out of himself and your son! Good luck!
2007-10-31 11:08:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him be a daddy.
2007-10-31 10:56:41 · answer #5 · answered by tysdad62271 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋