I work as a nanny and am having minor issues. Is it ok to consider moving on? I have worked for this family?

Question

for 6 months, & they are very nice people. They are warm, welcoming, & conversational. I have no prob. with the kids.

Things run smoothly most of the time, but occasionally, there's a bump in the road. Although they are nice people & treat and pay me well, there are a couple of things that bother me a little bit at times. I don't know if these are things I just need to deal with & consider part of the "package" or if I really could be happier somewhere else.

The dad is anal about things & can be demanding & rude at times. Other times he's very friendly. I really have no prob. with him, but sometimes am uneasy because of the past. The mom is very stressed with work, & always rushed, & snippy with her husband, which, at times makes me a little uncomfortable. She is neurotic about everything & leaves sticky-note reminders about things like appropriately valving the sippies and which jelly to use.

Are there ANY perfect families? How do I break the news? I need a good excuse!

Answer 1

I doubt there are Any perfect families out there. If you are not having any problems with the kids and the parents are not abusing you, you might want to stick with the job for awhile.

If you really feel you have to leave, just tell them the truth.

Answer 2

No, there are no perfect families. True some people may believe they have the perfect family and in a sence that could be true just because they are excepting their family as it is and is able to look past the imperfections.

Do you consider either the adults your friend, or would you say it is only a business relationship. In either case, friends and most employers will listen to how you feel and try to make certain things easier on you. It is much better to just be upfront and honest about why you are considering moving on. Not only will this show them you respect them, are grateful for the work, etc, it will probably let you leave on very good conditions with their recommendations to other families if you chose to stay in the nanny business.

Just keep in mind, if you like everything but those few things which could be discussed, your next post may not be as nice. You will always find little problems or pet-peeves with every family. If it is seemingly little things, maybe you could refocus your way of thinking.

The mother with all her insane sticky notes and being neurotic may just be her way of trying to make it easier on you, or trying to help you out. Some moms think that the only way for things to be done is their way and some moms are open to new ideas. She may also just care so much about her children that she isn't realizing what she is doing. All moms at some point get a little carried away. I pack my kids snacks and drinks to take along on a three hour trip even if we are going out to dinner. I also take one to two changes of clothes just for a trip to the grocery store. I have a bag I keep in the trunk of my car so I'm not constantly having to make sure everything is there. (This behavior makes my husband crazy)

I do not work because I decided until my children are all in school I was going to be a stay at home mom. I can not imagine how much more rushed and stressed I would feel if I had a job to boot my mother and wife responsibilities. She may be overwhelmed and you may be as well.

The issue with the dad, I'm not sure what I can say about that. As long as he doesn't show any signs of any type of abusive behaviopr, I wouldn't pay him too much attention. You mentioned something about the past. Is it something you, he, his wife, or all three of you can't get over?

All in all, I would advise you to just sit down and speak with them about what you feel. If you don't want to say anything and would rather leave, say something about putting in a resignation notice and use the reason that you have some issues that you can't quite get worked out or something. You don't have to give them any reason other than you just want something else. Breaking the news will most likely be your most difficult task, espeacially if the children are attatched to you. I would not worry too much about it though since you have only been there 6 months. Just whatever you do, try to do it very tactfully and ask if they would mind giving you a letter of recommendation, to make your next post easier to obtain.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Follow your heart and no matter where it leads you, you will be happy!

Answer 3

♥ There are not any perfect families.... no matter where you go you will find flaws in the family. You shouldnt live simply because of this [[after all you are there to care for the children, not the adults]]. If it indeed makes you way uncomfortable ask the parents for a sit down and let them know. Maybe they need a night out all to themselves so they can relax a little and take a look at what they've been doing. As for the wife's notes, shes a mommy who just wants things done right... you will certaintly have that everywhere you go! :-) Good Luck!

Answer 4

There are no perfect families and there are no perfect jobs. No matter where you work or for whom, you will always find something that doesn't work for you. Even if you work for yourself, you'll run into minor issues. How you handle those issues is what will make the difference.

If you've been happy with this family and have a good relationship with them, you may want to consider catching them at a time when they're not so stressed and ask if you can talk to them about the things you feel uncomfortable about. Keep in mind, the reason you're working for them is that they are stressed and need someone they can depend on to take care of things they don't have time for. It sounds like their occasional rudeness comes from their stress.

You say they're warm, welcoming and conversational. I suspect they don't realize how they're making you feel. If you're able to talk to them about other things, talk to them about this. It sounds like they are both somewhat controlling personalities. That would explain the sticky notes and wanting things to be done a certain way. If you know what needs to be done you can either reassure them they don't need to leave notes or you can laugh at the fact that they feel the need to leave notes and just toss them in the trash. It sounds like their behavior is more a habit on their part and is not a reflection of how they feel about your work.

I would guess they both have jobs where they have people who report to them. You may be doing yourself and their employees a favor by talking to them and helping them realize they don't need to micro manage. If they're able to see they're doing it at home they may realize they do it at work too and back off of everyone.

If these minor issues are the only reason you want to leave the job, I would suggest you try talking to them first to see if you can get them to change things a little. Start out by first choosing a time when they're calm, next tell them how much you enjoy working for them but there are a couple things that make you feel uncomfortable and would they be open to talking about those things. Then just pour your heart out. Be careful not to blame or accuse but just state the facts like you did here. If they refuse to consider they may be acting in an offensive way then look for another position. But this sounds like it can be fixed.

Answer 5

You don't have to give an employer an "excuse" to take another job... or even to look for one. You can simply tell them that you've accepted another position... it's none of their business why.

It seems to me you are taking lots of things they do personally, and not accepting these people at face value -- both of these parents sound stressed, and it's NOT your fault! So, taking their moods and instructions as criticism isn't healthy... you will likely continue this pattern in the future, if you don't start realizing you aren't responsible for their moods and snippiness.

And also, you need to remember it's their home, so if they are anal and particular, leave notes, etc., it's just the way they do things, and is no reflection on you as a person.

take care.

Answer 6

There are no perfect families. I could tell you some horror stories. You have got it pretty good in comparison. I would stay right there. What makes you think the next family is going to be any better ?
Try being a Filipina maid/nanny in Asia or the Middle East and you will soon find out how tough life can be.

Answer 7

To tell you the truth, it's seems like you've got the job much easier than other people. There are families that are abusive to their nannies, like they would treat them like slaves and demand them to do everything, and force them to do scary things, like driving when they can't or not allowed, or forcing them to stay. There are no perfect families. And even if there were, what are the chances of you landing up with them? Your job is a nanny, your job, like others, is to serve families and help them grow. So they have minor problems - make them aware of it and try to fix it. Ask why they act like that. There is no excuse for quitting your job because of little problems. That's like a dentist quitting his job because there's no good coffee anywhere close by. Hang in there, you can do it! I know being a nanny is a tough job, but if you know them that well, they trust you and you've got more tolerance than that.

Answer 8

Jobs come and go. Find nother one and leave them a sticky note informing them you're leaving.