What made you decide to be a Stay At home Mom?

Question

Just wondering what motivated you to make the decision to be a stay at home mom. For my husband and I, it was the fact that while both of us were working, life was crazy, hectic and stressful to the point where it was affecting our family life negatively. Also the fact that our daughter was being raised by a stranger at daycare didn't sit too well with us (she was in daycare anywhere from 8 to 11 hours a day, depending on what shifts my husband worked). It's really tough sometimes making it on one income, even if we have to go without the extra things, but it's really worth it. We've had to cut way back - we don't go out, we buy only neccessities, money is really tight, we live in a small, old house and drive 10 year old vehicles and don't have cell phones, cable or anything extra like that, but being able to actually be there for my kids is worth it. What made you decide to stay home, what are some sacrafices you had to make, and what is your favorite part about being a SAHM?

Mimi - where the heck did that come from? Did you not read the question - I said that we drive 10 year old vehicles - I'm still driving my highschool car in fact (a 2 door chevy cavalier - ever tried cramming 2 carseats into the back of one of those). We're not by ANY means rich either - my husband makes $14 an hour... that adds up to $26,880 a year - that's not much! Before I started staying at home almost a year ago, I was a nurse and worked 12 hour shifts - 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. it sucked.

JACK BAUER MY HERO - Wow man, woman, whatever you are, obviously you have no clue. actually, where I live, $26,000 a year is a pretty good wage - that's $14 an hour. Yes, we do have health insurance, through my husband's job. Our only bills are our house payment which is $500 a month (we live in the rural midwest - housing is cheap), our car insurance ($40 a month for all 3 vehicles combined - my car, my husband's pickup and his motorcycle), and then our phone bill (which is very minimal, usually $14 to $20 a month, electric ($40 a month), gas ($100/ mo in winter), and water ($30 a month at the most). We're able to save a couple hundred dollars a month. Lots of families live on less than that. We don't have car payments because both of our vehicles are paid for, and we are NOT on any kind of assistance either. Most moms around here stay home. Actually after paying for daycare, even working as a nurse, I was only bringing home about $300 a month - NOT worth it. Wake up.

I'm not airing my dirty laundry on the internet. I asked a question "what made you decide to be a stay at home mom, what sacrafices did you have to make, and what's your favorite part about being a stay at home mom", there is nothing wrong with that. I added details in reply to things that others, like you, wrote because they decided to bash for no reason and get their non-relevant 2 cents worth in so I clarified things for them. You have some serious issues. Do you have kids? Why would I want strangers raising my children if I am financially capable of doing so? My brain is not "going to waste" either - I am attending college full time (17 credit hours this semester evenings and nights) - I already have my nursing degree (had it for 5 years in fact), and I am 1 year away from my bacheolors in biology/premed and 1 year away from my bacheolors in elementary education. Get a life - I have one, investing time in my children's lives, and continuing my own education. Have a nice day!

Answer 1

I am a stay at home mom now. After our first I went back to work after 6 weeks. I worked in child care and was able to take her with me at a reduced fee. When she was 3 months old she was not being treated well and I quit and stayed home. I stayed home til she was 2 then went back to work. Istayed home for 2 1/2 years after having my twins. I got hired at a daycare that that only charged me $36 a week for my three kids and I was able to still be with them so it wasn't as bad as leaving them with a stranger. When my twins were 5 I had a baby that was still born and I have since been unable to work in child care. I now have 4 kids and have stayed home for3 and a half years. I have four kids now 12, 8, 8 and 21 months. We have decided that I need to be home even more now that the children are getting older because of the times that we live in.
We to make sacrifices to be able to have me at home. We don't go out anywhere but parks and libraries.because they are free.LOL We also don't have cable or cell phones and drive a 22 year old car so we don't have payments or high insurance rates.
Unfortunately we don't have many friends either because we don't go out to eat or movies with them. It seems all our old friends have different priorityies. They don't seem to mind leaving thier kids at daycare all week and a babysitter on weekends so they can go out. When I did work we still didn't go out on weekends without the kids because we miss them when we aren't together.
I love being home. I think our children will benefit greatly by the sacrifices we have made to give them a secure loving home.

Answer 2

I stay home with my toddler boys for the same reason-I did not want someone else raising them even family because we had problems with that too unfortunately. I became a SAHM when my first son was 13 months old and my second son was born. My boys are now 2 and 3 and it was by far the best decision I ever made. When my son was 3 months old and I went back to work-I knew it was not going to last. We bought a piece of land in the country and started construction when he was 9 months old. Both my husband and I worked 7 days a week while I was pregnant so that we could afford both the house payments (we had to pay for the new house and the land loan while it was being built). We sold our house in Miami while the market was still hot (3 weeks later it crashed) and moved here when the youngest was 6 months and the older was 1 1/2. I left a 6 figure salary and now my husband makes LESS than yours in our small town-but I am home with my boys and that is the most important thing. My favorite thing is being here for every little moment-not missing anything (well, maybe slipping in my 3 year old son's pee this morning-I could have skipped that LOL). God bless you for doing the right thing-it is a sacrifice but well worth it!

Answer 3

what landed me into being a sahm is that I was told that I was going to have my baby early if I didn't take it easier. I was working a minumum of 45hrs a week, standing all the time and very stressed cause I was the manager of a video rental store that was having internal issues to say the least. three months before my due date I was in the last half of a open-close shift when I started having contractions, real ones and ended up in the hospital. it stopped and I was let go later.
so, I came home and pulled my daughter out of daycare and quit my job. it's never been easy but we feel it's what's right for our family. also, there's no way I could find a job in this little area that would give me the money to work and put my kids in daycare. I'd be working to buy the gas to get there and care for my kids while I was there. especially now that number three is on the way.
I love being a sahm. I love to be the one that sees every "first" my kids go through. also, I am homeschooling my older child even though she's only four. we do without a lot and rely on handmedowns and things like that but who can care for my kids better than me? I'm trained in early childhood education, so I feel confidant in my ability to do this.
it may not be for everyone but it's the right choice for my family!

Answer 4

I agree with other posters that I wanted to be the primary caregiver for my children. I chose to have children so that I could raise them.
Also, when I added up the cost of daycare, communting to work, a "professional" wardrobe and the extra take out meals I realized that over half of my teacher's salary would be going into those expenses and not into our household budget.
I have found some ways to work from home here and there and we make ends meet. We do not live an extravagent lifestyle and are very cautious with our money.

And this is not to say that at one point or another I wouldn't pick up a part time job when my kids are in school or work the night shift somewhere if need be. I am flexible about the whole thing and my main objective is taking care of my family.

It has been worth it for me. My favorite thing is just sharing the daily things with my son... seeing his first smile, hearing his first word, teaching him and spending time with him.

Answer 5

I always wanted to be a stay at home mom and housewife ever since I was 12 years old. I was raised to know my place in society due to my abuse as a child and I just felt that God put women on Earth to be wives and mothers not work outside the home. I respected my tradtional God given role in society and never liked working when I had a job. Plus I didn't want my kids to be raised by strangers all night and day which would have happened if I had worked. I'm a housewife and hopefully God willing soon will be a stay at home mother. I love being a housewife and am also an author so I make money.

Answer 6

After we had our 1st baby, I worked while my husband stayed home. When we had our 2nd, we decided I would stay home and my husband would go back to work full-time. My reasons are like most everyone who has responded- I do not trust anyone else to raise our little ones ( we now have 3) and I feel like I would be missing out on so many of the little milestones, fieldtrips, etc.. that go on each day. It is such a blessing to be home with my children. There is a peacefulness about our days because I am not rushing to get them to daycare, get myself to work, pick them up, etc... My kids love the fact that when they come home from school (the 2 oldest), they can do activities with me such as bake cookies, etc.... As far as sacrafices- I think mostly I just stick to not over-spending. We have been blessed financially where I CAN stay home. My car is not very new either, but my children never want or need anything. God always provides.

Answer 7

I *was* a SAHM until the silly gits decided to grow up into teenagers.

Why did I do it? I didn't want someone else raising my kids. I figure if you put your kids in daycare for 8-10 hours per day and I only see them for dinner and bed, it's the people they spend all that time with that influence their values. I want my kids learning MY values, not those of the person who I pay to watch them. No matter how hard you try to find a care provider who matches your values, they will never be the "same."

I also saw no sense in having to disrupt a career on a regular basis. Sick kids, school meetings, sports, there is so much a working parent has to take time off of work for, disrupting the employer's schedules and/or your own work pattern. No matter how dedicated you are, you can not be the best parent possible AND the best employee possible at the same time.

I value my kids and their future more than some "career" even when it meant living on one income (hubby's) and living in cheaper housing, giving up the unnecessary material things in life (anything other than basic transportation, a roof over our heads, food, clothes and heat) until the kids didn't need me home anymore (middle school).

Kids don't need "things," they need parents.

Answer 8

For us, it was hard to leave our son at daycare all day, then get home, feed, bathe and pretty much put him to bed after only having a few hours with him. It sucked! Not only that, but my husband's union decided that if their spouses work, and are eligible for insurance, we have to take it. So, I was working to pay daycare and health insurance on just myself, and not making much money to justify being away from our son. (My husband is an Operating Engineer-he drives big a** equipment and runs part of the family road const. business, so he makes good money). So for us, it works, especially since my husband travels, and during the busy summer months, is home only on weekends if he is working too far to drive home at night. Things do get tight moneywise sometimes, but we usually get by and we drive nice cars, have nice stuff. We just don't always get to buy what we want all the time. I personally think it's worth it to give up things to be with your children. All of my friends with kids work, and they have hectic lives. Sometimes I feel like people look down on me, like I have nothing better to do all day than watch soaps. But trust me, now that I have a second child, I am busy all day with housework, and playing with the kids, and cooking decent meals so we don't rely on fast food crap. I love my life, and as soon as my youngest starts school, I will look for a part-time job to get out of the house while they are in school. I applaud your efforts to be with your children even if it causes financial hardship. And no, I don't look down on hard-working mothers. Some people choose to work and that is fine, and some people don't have a choice.

Answer 9

Well for me it was mostly b/c this time around I"m able to and I had to work so much with my daughter I missed out on all the little things of her first year and I don't want to do that again.
Plus when we figured up the daycare expenses for a baby baby and after school daycare, my paycheck would barely cover it.

Yeah we are having to make sacrfiices but it is so worth it, to be there for my daughter when she gets home from school and I can't wait till the baby is born.
We live in a small apartment, don't eat out, drive an older car, very rarely go out to movies ect.

Answer 10

You stated pretty much the same reasons we had for me to decide to be a stay at home mom. Not to mention that we would have been paying out almost as much in daycare expenses as I'm currently bringing in with my business.

My favorite part about being home is seeing how secure my son is. He's currently 16 months and he's in that clingy stage but he's very content. I know he's clinging to me because I'm his security, not because he's afraid of who he may be left with or has fears that I may not come back. I also enjoy being there for his firsts, just being able to hear him talk to himself and having the enjoyment of watching him play or sleep. I love our cuddle times as well!

As far as sacrifices go... since I do also work from home, there really haven't been too many. I have a medical/legal practice which allows me to bring in some extra cash but I did have to hire in some more people to take over a lot of my work load. I've been fortunate enough to be able to hire other SAHMs who wanted to help supplement their husband's income so the loss of income to me was nothing knowing that I could assist other moms to be at home with their kids.