have i failed my kids?

Question

my daughters had been fighting so i put them in their rooms to calm done.
about 10minutes later i went to check on them and they werent there
i checked the whole house and i couldnt find them
after this i was panicing
i found the front door open
and i ran outside and was looking everywhere for them, crying and screaming
i found them in the next street from mine (thank god)
they had decided to run away because i put them in their rooms
i took them home
they are 8 and 10
i feel like i wasnt watching them carefully enough
what should i do?

Answer 1

Hardly, you HAVEN'T failed your children. Every parent misses things we think we should be on top of, it happens. Just remember, don't blame yourselves for your daughter's actions. Now it's time to ACT,

This is the most important thing you got to do.
You need to lay down the law. No - more then that, you need to put the fear of God in them. You need to punish them so harshly that they would NEVER dare do this again. Think of the fact that they went outside without your permission. What if they got snatched up?

This calls for a spanking. I have 8, and 10 year old daughters so I know what I'm talking about here. If my daughters pulled this, they'd be be spanked like it was going out of style.

Remember what they did.
1. Came out of time out with out your permission
2. Directly defied your authority
3. Put their lives in danger
4. Sneaked out of the house with out your permission

I know I'm strict, but my daughters would be spanked for ANY one of these misdeeds. I recommend you, or better yet the girls fathers (if he's around) give these girls a good meaningful spanking. Not just a one or two swatter, a pants/panties down spanking on the bare hiney, (2 swats per year, yes it's going to hurt, but better a red bottom then a dead one). Remember what they did! They have this coming.


No reason to fell like a failure, your daughters are testing you, do you have what it takes to answer the test? I think you do!

Good Luck

Answer 2

I have girls the same age and no you didn't fail them. Girls are crazy drama and tend to think double trouble when two are together. I would say next time given the previous circumstance you make them sit at the table in your view and remain silent in time out that is based on their ages. You also need to constantly go over the danger of run away and the very bad things that can happen to little girls. If you put them in punishment together they can put their heads together against you! Kids think for the moment and in a moment when they are in trouble they want gone they want the situation gone and "big mean mom is mad" but you are mad for a valid reason, your only mistake was giving them time to pair up against you. I have three it happens. Don't sweat it but show them since they could be so impulsive together and don't understand the dangers that when they fight or do anything together that warrants them being punished that for the next few times it's right in front of you and explain why. After a few times send them to OPPOSITE rooms, or don't be afraid to listen through the door minutes after putting them in their room. I would definately stress the dangers of running away and your fear for their safety.

Answer 3

no offence lady but you are getting sucked in!

kids are very very clever, much cleverer than parents give them credit for. they're playing with you, to get there own way and make you feel bad.

i bet after that you found them you didnt even say anything to them or punish them again? ryt?? now they made you think that if you put them in there rooms after they fight they'll run away again so you won't do it! children find ways of getting parents to feel bad abt punishing them.

i hav a 4 yr old and a 2 year old, who try there little tactics with me and there dad!
nephews and neices (loads of them)... eldest is a girl whos 10 and a boy (the little rascal!!) who's 8! NOT SIBLINGS... they do exactly the same thing. they fight or do something really really wrong and when they know they are going to get punished they find a way round there parents to make them feel bad and not punish them hard enough! (this pee's everyone off cuz even the aunts and uncles cant tell them off cuz the parents are against it!!!)

you're elder daughter is 10, believe me if she really was going to run away she would know to take clothes, shoes and food with her.

what u need is to be firm and stick with it and when they eventually realise nothing is going to work and they start behaving, u need to reward them. that way they'll be getting that 'dnt mess with mom' yet they wont hate you because you'll be rewarding them.

Answer 4

Good for you for enforcing discipline. Don't feel bad. When my daughter was three she woke up before me, unbolted the door and was playing on the front lawn in naught but her diaper when I found her. I almost had a nervous breakdown thinking of all the awful things that might have happened but, thankfully, didn't. I then proceeded to install a new lock so high on the door that she couldn't reach it, even with a chair. I have no doubt that they won't get this one past you again!

Answer 5

Wow that was scary! REMOVE the door-yep,as much as kids will be kids,they went beyond safety limits and scared the heck out of you.If they were my kids I would tell them,I understand you didn't want to stay in your room- however-LEAVING the house is never an option therefore I am removing your door for-----amount of time to teach you that you will NOT use my home to manipulate me and/or avoid consequences.(I personally have removed a door for a kid slamming it) of course they still need changing privacy so they can do that in the bathroom.I don't know what they were sent to their rooms for but it doesn't matter,they really messed up and something horrible could have happened to them out there.Good Luck and stay firm.

Answer 6

The fact that they decided to run away together, after their fighting with each other was what got them in trouble, is important. It shows that your message to them that they need to get along with each other, got through. That's a good thing. They made a bad choice, but it's a start. Now they just need to get the wisdom necessary to start making better choices than 'running away". That will come with maturity, be patient and stick to your guns. Keep your message to them constant, it's working.

Answer 7

dont beat yourself up about it or show them that you felt you lost control because then you could loose your authority.. you need to sit them down and explain to them the potential dangers to any 8 and 10yr old girls out on there own ad this would be a good time to explain to them about predators and missing children..
tell them that you have another place as time out and that you cant trust them to be in their rooms without supervision... you have to explain to them that you want the best for them but there are desperate consequences if they ever leave the house again without your permission.... maybe if they have an aunt or grannie they can talk to about it it might help as sometimes the problem is too close to home..... kids do these things, dont beat yourself up about it just make sure it doesnt happen again......x

Answer 8

Do not be so hard on yourself. Look at the positive side. They are safe right? Children need discipline. I think right after they ran away, you should have put them right back in their rooms. You are the mother, not the child. They need to know that! You should not have to ask others if you have failed your kids, you should know the answer. Do you feel like you have failed them? From reading this, I would say not.

Answer 9

Do you remember back in the day when we were kids.....we wouldnt dream of doing such a thing to our parents b/c we would get a good old fashion belt by dad.....My mom actually.I dont know people say oh,lets talk to our kids and have a nice conversation with them...COME ON PEOPLE!!!Kids need to know if they do that ,they will have consequence .Just be tough as you can ....Plus,you shouldnt have to watch 8 and 10 year old like that so dont beat yourself up (its not like there 2).....Also i would make it harder on the 10 year old b/c she is older.I would just freak out and make them scared for about 10 minutes.kids need to be scared everynow and then ...its good for them!!!!

Answer 10

I think you did the right thing,explain to them why they were sent to their rooms and explain to them that what they did was very dangerous and wrong and tell them they could have been hurt,or taken and no one would have know also explain that if there was a fire in the house you would have thought they were in their rooms and you could have got hurt.if they are naughty again send them to their rooms for no more than 10 Min's and lock the front door. x