When is it my turn to be happy or does my needs not matter to my family?

Question

Okay I'm 51 and am in my 2nd marriage of not even 3 years that is probably going to end within a few months from now!

In my 1st marriage my then 12 year old son walked in on me with my now current husband I was having an affair and well the divorce came not long after!

My husband got full custody and I got visitation plus child support of $900 a month, 3 weekends and once a week visits that I had to go to court for. My son was so angry and informed the judge what he thought of my husband and I for cheating on his father, he would not accept me anymore as his mother!

3 years later he'll be 15 on the 20th of Nov. and I'm still in doghouse and my son refuses to see me. Husband and I have more arguments now to the point that he left me and asked me for a divorce!

I thought I finally found my soul mate but he's living with another woman and telling me it was nothing but lust between us!
He also says I was a dry f**k and he was glad to get rid of me,
So much for true love!

So my questions are these: has anyone been in a situation like this where Children just won't talk to you, accept presents from you or outright dismiss your rights as a parent and disowns you?
If so How did it end or has it ended?
Why was my happiness not in my sons consideration when he told me to burn in hell?
Can you heal from this because I feel like I have a HUGE WHOLE in my heart, and it hurts so much I sometimes feel nothing is worth this pain of losing my son?

Background: it my son had not been born his father and I would in all liklihood have divorced after 10 years but my son cam along and well that ended that

When will it be my turn for happiness?

Answer 1

first admit you were wrong your son has every right too be angry you have hurt this child so badly instead of explaining too him what you did was wrong and asking him too forgive you you went out and married the other man i would be angry too knowing that i had too live with the man that destroyed our home and mom thinks its ok. your son needs counseling and so do you true love is not sex its a act of being unselfish too often people are confused by that divorce your husband and take some time out for yourself seek guidance from your church or councilor for you and your son and let your son know that you are sorry for destroying his world over something meaningless and pray he forgives you sometimes children are smarter than we are and they are the ones not blinded by lust

Answer 2

You had your turn at happiness; but you messed that up, when you chose to cheat on your 1st husband. You didn't think about him or your son, when you decided to lay down with another man. A man who will cheat WITH you will cheat ON you, which is why your current husband is living with another woman. He was a bum when you met him and he's a bum now. But this is what you chose for yourself. You could have chosen to work on your 1st marriage, for the sake of your son; but it didn't mean that much to you. You didn't care about the pain you would cause, when you chose to bring your lover around your precious child. Instead of having the decency to take that filth somewhere else, you chose to throw it in the boy's face. You chose to sacrifice your marriage for a bum, rather than be a decent wife and a loving mother to your son. And now, after all the pain you've caused, you think you should be happy? Get serious!

Until you face the reality of what you've done and find the courage to get on your knees and beg your son to forgive you, you will live in misery. Until you call your 1st husband and tell him how sorry you are for causing so much pain, you will find no peace. Until you stand up and be a woman (for the first time in your life!), everything you touch will be ruined.

Answer 3

Ok, take a deep breath, and I do believe the first thing you need to do is stay away from men for a while.

Your son needs help, he will not talk to you, but talk to his father, and tell him to go into counseling and that might be a good idea for you also, then maby you can both go into counseling together to save your relationship. But counseling together will be later.

You took a risk, by sleeping with another man and you took a risk of your son walking in on you, I am sorry, but you made your bed and now you have to do some serious damage control!!!!

If you wanted to sleep with this man, you should have gone to a motel.

You knew in the back of your mind what was going to happen, and you took a chance and Karma slapped you right in the face, the past is the past, now you have to deal with the hear and now and try to make it better!!!!!!

Good luck!!!!!

Answer 4

Summer,
It makes me sad to hear what you have been through. You have fallen victim to one of the greatest lies which has ever been told and which is still being told today. This lie is that you can find happiness and joy apart form God, God the Creator, maker of Heaven and Earth. You have eaten of fruits that were intended for your torment. There is only one way out of your situation and that is to confess to God what you have done and ask for His forgiveness. Knowing that you have been forgiven will give you great joy in your heart and you will eventually be able to share this with your son who at some point in his life will undoubtedly be seeking the same forgiveness. Your family will, over time, notice the difference in you; this is not an overnight process but, in time, the difference will be indisputable. The light that will shine from your heart will be impossible to cover! And remember, Jesus came and died for sinners, not for the righteous! Smile, for your time is now my friend; He has found you. The Lord is standing at the door to your heart knocking, all you need do is open the door and let Him in!

Answer 5

How about forgetting about men for now and try just being a friend with your son first. Invite him out with just you and him and no one else, to somewhere he would like to go, as you need to start back at the bottom and rebuild this relationship and it isn't going to be easy. You are going to need alto of patience and plus there's going to be alot of times when you'll have to bite your tongue and not say much. Only time will heal this wound and it won't be over night, infact it will be years maybe, when he is more mature. But hey beggars can't be chooser's.

Answer 6

GEEZ! Peolpe are SO harsh! Girl we all make mistakes and the past is the past. Unfortunately your son is at an age where he is trying to figure life as an adult out, so therefor he will be rebelling toward you for sometime. See if you can meet him on his level. Sports, anything that he is proud of and let him know you are too. Give him space though, at first just show up and watch, then maybe say hello and congradulate him ,then maybe go give him a hug . You'll have to always be the one to step up. Your his mother and you love him! Make sure he knows that ! Tell him often show him often , as macho as he is acting he still needs his mom and her love!!

Answer 7

Cheaters never prosper. Everything has a price tag. Sometimes, we find out too late what the price for a certain thing is and that it is way too high. Your whoring cost you 3 years of your son's wrath and, by the sound of things, the possibility of 3 more.

Look at all that you've lost. Only to learn that you were a dry
f uck anyway......tsk tsk tsk.

Answer 8

Quit whining. Instead of doing the decent thing, and either leaving the other guy alone or leaving your husband before pursuing another relationship, you chose to cheat. Then you chose not to secure your situation, and allowed your son to see you cheating. The first is cheating, and the second is stupidity.

You are getting exactly what you deserve. It is like they say--What goes around comes around!!

Answer 9

i'm having a topic identifying who's the bigger subject right here. that's particularly available you have led to a superb variety of the difficulty via being so insecure and copping an physique of techniques to cover it. in the experience that your MIL and SIL do in contrast to you, what are you going to do approximately it? they do in contrast to you, under no circumstances have, under no circumstances will and that's how that's. give up your bitchin' and whining and recover from it. You lived without them formerly you met your husband. the toddler additionally belongs to your husband and he has each genuine to take it to circulate to his mom and sister, without or with you. it could replace into an all out war the place you lose or you are able to a minimum of be civil to them and be a ingredient of the kin. i've got examine your rant yet fail to make certain a query. I additionally do no longer see ONE subject which would be attributed to your MIL and SIL; all I examine is YOUR jealousy and lack of self belief. Why do they could desire to examine on the toddler in case you are the mummy and are living house looking after him? Do you sense that incompetent? the substantial's which you are attempting to regulate your husband and shop him from seeing or chatting together with his kin. in case you choose your toddler to have the two father and mom residing below an analogous roof you are the guy who needs to alter your physique of techniques and give up making mountains out of mole hills. in case you do no longer you will smash your marriage over your nitpicking at each thing his kin does and driving him loopy alongside with your consistent complaining. As I see it, the only guy or woman who's enjoying a interest is you and you're using the harmless toddler as your pawn. give up being so insecure and your in-regulation problems will circulate away.

Answer 10

you had happiness when you were cheating on your husband you didn't know you were considered a dry f*ck 9what ever that means) at the time so you had your happy times. Now to have more you need to find a guy that is for real.