First things first, i live in joint family......and can't move out right away.
So, give me solution other then that.
My bro-inlaws wife , who is very dear to my M.I.L and S.I.L by doing all her politics is runing my any chance of good relationship with my inlaws. She lie in funny way and criticize me to the point, she has convinced every female of the house that im going to take thier son away and move out.
Also that ONLY she does most of work, and i'm this that blah blah. She keeps telling them the smallest of things that happen in house. I married one year after her. She already had them stick to her all the time.
They never let me in, i tired and i tried. My sil and mil will even fight with me or accuse me coz of wt thier other D.I.L said.
They will even fight with thier son/bro if he takes my side. To the point that she yesterday said to my hubby that ur wife has definetely cast a spell on u.
its going no where, its all coz of bro-in-laws wife. help
2007-10-30 22:43:40 · 10 answers · asked by abeer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is witty, cunning and i am not.
Even when i try to tell anyone any truth, they dont belive me.
I just want to crack open her reality but dont knw how to go about it.
My MIL and SIL are so under her influence that they even tell her each and everything my hubby says to them .
Im not saying they would be nice to me if she wasnt there, but atleast in 2 years and so much effort i have made they would have changed somewhat.
but she just wont let it happen, she keep reminding them that she is perfect and im nothing.
I HAD NO HISTORY OF ANY THING I EVER DONE OR SAID TO HER .....due to which she is the way she is. Its out of pure jealousy or something. she got a hold on all of them big time.
We WILL MOVE OUT AS SOON as we get our financial situation sorted out.
But its like .....we have jerks in home or office. They should be crack open instead of run away from situation.
2007-10-30 22:50:05 · update #1
Any effort my hubby ever did was confronted like...."u trust her and not ur mother".
he fought, he talked endlessly, convinced, got angry, being patient every way.
They say ur wife is wrong , other daughter in law is right. and that im going to break their son from them I TELL HIM EVERYTHING and he comes to them to solve it.
2007-10-30 22:54:57 · update #2
Well girl the only way you can solve this is to move out SOON
before you go nuts.. there is nothing you can do with people like these they are petty and pitiful and they decided to be on the other DL side so what you do is the remaning time you have there stay away from them I imagine you and your husband have your own room right? well when your not working find things to do out the house go places malls stores window shop your *** out.. don't spend any money because you need to get out out out.. these people are crazy you should not be worrying about how you going to get to like them you should be more concern about how to get the hek out of there and how soon.
People like this are selfish ignorant and miserable and maybe the other daughter in law kiss their *** by giving them things and doing lots of things for them, she is jelous of you and she bad mouth you to get them to hate you.. and they so child minded that they fall for that.. so don't even try anymore when you have to be there stay in your room and find things to do in there like watching tv or writing or something.. and tell your husband your just simply tired of trying, I would not even eat there I would find a way to do everything posible to do as little in that house as I can even go to friends houses and use their bathroom, you there because your married in to that family but they cast you out so get away from them as much as you can, and they move out and take your husband with you.. the mother in law should be ashame of her self acting that way towards her son wife. but honey like i said there is nothing else to do with these people let them know the way they feel towards you is not going to destroy your marriage and you will take your husband away soon. the best luck to you stay cool and sane do not show them fear or insecurity for now until you leave don't even speak to them... ignoring them is the best way to pist them off believe me.. good luck hon.
2007-10-31 00:23:34 · answer #1 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a terrible situation for you. You must feel very unhappy at the moment. I think they are jealous of you. Perhaps you are prettier or perhaps your husband shows he loves you.
When people marry they belong to each other first,and others even mother in laws take second place. That is the way it is.
Perhaps soon you and your husband will find a place of your own, I do hope so.
Good Luck. Try to be strong.
2007-10-31 05:50:37 · answer #2 · answered by Sally Anne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, this is plain bullying. Tell your husband all about it. If he doesn't believe you then you're better off out of this family. You should be the most important person in your hubby's life - after all, he married you and not his family, didn't he?
Good luck.
2007-10-31 05:50:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This usually happens in the joint family system. To avoid all confrontations, it is adviced to move out of the home. No other go.
2007-10-31 05:46:51 · answer #4 · answered by JANARVIHARAN 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but you may not like my advice but at this point what have you got to lose?? They are all against you anyway so I would give them a hard time just like they are giving me! If these women want to play hard ball with you I would knock the ball right back into their own court!! I would raise so much hell around that house I would turn into a roaring lion. If they don't like you then give them a reason. If Mom and the sister's care about their son and brother and want him in their lives once you are both gone it stops here and now!! If not they will cause their own self fulfilling phrophecy!!! So here we go..........FIRST you get that sister inlaw off in a corner to yourself and you tell her to shut her dam mouth before you shut it for her. SECOND you tell the sister to kiss your AZZZ THIRD you sit down with the mother inlaw and tell her you have had it with everybody's ignorant attitude with you and if she does not put a stop to it being the head woman of the house ...when you and her son leave all of them you won't be back and if you have anything to do with it neither will her son unless they can all show some respect to the both of you. Let her know that you would like very much for her to be included in the lives of her future grandchildren but that will not be possible if there is any further stress in this house while you are there and trying to get along with everybody!!! At this time if the mother inlaw and everyone else beomes unglued with themselves get louder than them because you want them to know that you mean bussiness. Buck up to them everytime they buck up to you! Do not tollerate this abuse and everytime they start you shout out at them " stop being abusive to me and talk to me right and treat me right and I will do the same for you!!! If they want to be in their own little hatefull little circle ...give them something to really talk about since they none have anything better to do than be nasty! If your husband does not like it to bad and he can work harder and faster at getting the both of you out of the house then! If there is anyway possible I would take my husband to live with my side of the family untill you can get on your own. I would make my husband live with me in a tent in a park somewhere before I would go on living with his idiot so called family. I wouldn't care if I had to fall at the mercy of a local church somewhere(and of course let it be one that is not of their religious faith) and beg for help and I would get the hell out!!! You cannot live like this and you should not have to.
2007-10-31 09:16:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you poor thing. you are so alone in all of this.
i feel so bad for you.
its not your fault, its theirs, they are picking on you.
but i dont know what the solution is.
i think you need to maybe get some counselling in private, dont tell them. could you?
you need to be supported through this while you work out the answers.
good luck
2007-10-31 08:00:39 · answer #6 · answered by maAternal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 simple item.... your husband needs to do his job and stand beside his wife since he is "ONE" with you since the day you married. He then needs to put his foot down among his family to stop this nonsense.
Time for a man to be a man. As grandpa use to say " need to stop them hens from cacklin' ".
2007-10-31 05:49:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are making your life terrible, tell your husband that you can't take it anymore and you need his help, if he will not give you the help you need, then move out.
By moving out, you are not stooping down to their level, you are making your own life happy.
It sounds to me like he is a family guy.
If he will not listen to you, then do yourself a favor and move out!!!!!!
2007-10-31 05:56:38 · answer #8 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your husband take care of the rpoblem, or leave. You can't live miserable like that.
2007-10-31 05:49:06 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
explain to your hub and try to come
out from the family
2007-11-04 04:12:57 · answer #10 · answered by cmurugesh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋