He has a son well he thinks he is his son and he constantly complains about how he wants his son to live with us, but i dont want to take care of someone elses kid it sounds mean but that is just how i feel. The boy is not taken care of, he has skin problems he has very bad teeth, I had to give him a bath for 2 hours and the tub was black. The mother of him she gave him away to my husbands parents she said we could have him , then took him back and said forget it. We have 3 boys and i dont want to have anything to do with these people they are nasty. My husband says his ex is part of his family they were never married and his son is his family I cant understand that I told my husband its either our family our he can leave. Help!!!!!!!!!!1
2007-10-30 21:52:25 · 26 answers · asked by Key 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No way you're taking that child!!! You are already taking care of your 3 kids? If that girl doesn't care for her own son then she can give it away to charity or something like that, but believe me, no one would take your sons if that was the case. Your husband should have taken care when he got involved with this person!!!
2007-10-30 22:31:37 · answer #1 · answered by Yabran Tariga 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Doesn't matter who his mother is or who he lives with, HE is your husband's son. And a small one at that if your giving him a bath. What im wondering is how you treat your own children? You being a woman and a Mom should be ashamed. You knew he had that son when you married him. I feel sorry for your husband wanting to care for his child and getting a hassle from you. You would rather your boys loose their Dad than you help him with his son... and need i remind you that the boy is a brother to your own. What are they seeing. Their mom mistreating a child cause she doesn't like the situation. Wonder how the boy would respond if you did try to care for him. You might be surprised. As the Mom of a child that i didn't give birth too, who by the way tells people she is not from my tummy but from my heart, all i can say is you may not know what your missing. Poor little boy. I think if you continue to push one day your husband may have to make a choice you and your children may lose. Then who are you going to blame. Why not just be a family? We dont use the word STEP Mom in my family, I can see that it applies here. Shame on you!! You ask what should you do about your husband, I think its more like what your husband should do about YOU!!
2007-10-31 05:21:05 · answer #2 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I truly feel for you; it is very hard to take care of a child that is foisted upon you....and it is not the kid's fault. Poor thing, he really has had no chances has he? you don't say how old he is, but I gather he is just a kid if you are giving him a bath. Your husband obviously loves the boy; is there any way you can compromise?
My daughter abandoned her six year old and went to work abroad; my grand-daughter went to live with her dad. He asked me if I could take her, and although I love her to bits, my own circumstances were - single parent with 5 kids all at school, youngest only 7; working nights to make ends meet, and a tiny house. It broke my heart to say I didn't think it would work out, that I couldn't take on any more. We agreed that she would spend all school holidays with me. when she would arrive, the first thing I had to do was bathe her and de-louse her. The poor kid; her dad loved her, but had no sense of what a little girl needs to know.
She is now 13, and her dad has re-married, and she still does the school holiday thing. there is not a day that I don't wonder if her life would have been different if I had been able to take her and raise her.
Think it through carefully before you deliver ultimatums to each other; this child needs love and care, and that should come before anything. A few weeks of living in a clean, warm and loving and stable environment could be the making of this child.
2007-10-31 05:19:11 · answer #3 · answered by marie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the kid is living in such a bad situation and you don't want to take care of him then I would suggest at the very least getting the authorities involved so he can at least be placed in a home where he will be cared for properly. The child is being neglected. If he's your husband's son maybe it is best that he lives with his father. As your husband's wife you should accept his son into your life even if you do already have 3 children. I've seen families where the children never see their father because he's married to a woman who wants nothing to do with any kids but her own. It is not fair to the child or his father to not allow him to see his own child.
2007-10-31 05:03:17 · answer #4 · answered by yimmajazzi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I was him I'd leave your selfish a**-first of all it's not this boys fault for what he's going through he never asked to be born. Second off all how would you feel if the situation was reversed and this was your son, wouldn't you want your husband to stand by you and support you in helping to raise your son? You should be proud of your husband that he's willing to take care of his son because there's a lot of men out there who don't even take care of their own children. You sound like your a really selfish, ungrateful b*tch making him choose between his son from another relationship and his family with you. Might sound hard but I'd take all 4 boys and leave our a**. Its like asking someone to choose between their mother and father. What the hell's wrong with you grow up? You never know this child's life could be saved because of you-have a heart.
2007-10-31 06:53:11 · answer #5 · answered by Voss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If i were him! I'd leave YOU! OMG lady, that poor kid sounds like he's never even got a chance in life. If you were raised like that youd be the same way. Maybe you should have been raised like that, you'd probably have better manors. Could you even imagine what it must be like for this kid, no one wants him, no where to go, dad loves him, but his B--tch don't want to take the time to even get to know him because she is worried that someone might see him around her and make her look bad.. News flash lady.. You are looking bad, and in front of the whole world. So eat that and give the kid a chance. Go get some help for yourself . No wonder the world is becoming what it is with people like you in it. That we could most definatly do with out. Any more questions.
2007-10-31 05:00:48 · answer #6 · answered by sunnydays 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not the boy's fault! TRY MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THE BOY'S LIFE! Im sure it must be hard already for him not being taken care of properly & having a skin problems// Now he has to be concerned about turning the wicked stepmother's tub black?!! Anyone who didnt want MY child wouldnt have to ask me to leave I'd do it on my own!
2007-10-31 05:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by caughtup 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget the family he could get legal custody then they would have to adhere to the order .having children of your own i would have thought your heart would have gone out to this little boy .his problems can be treated if hes looked after and loved ,well fed he will probably be fine and fit in with your kids .hes as much your husbands child as the other three and i can understand him wanting to take him to live with him .how can he be a good dad to your three and turn his back on this boy .he must be in turmoil over this situation how can you put this pressure on him of course he doesnt want to lose his kids any of them if you love him you would do what you could to help not give these stupid ultimatums thank God there are people out there that can help this child if you turn your back on him at least get social services involved but i would look at my relationship with you if i were him hes facing enough problems without you adding to them stand back and look at yourself i hope you like what you see you are not a family person or you would do all you could to help it would serve you right if he did leave to help his son but i doubt he will he seems to be the only one with a concience dont forget he loved this child before yours and still had enough love for them he cant just turn off his feelings
2007-10-31 05:17:47 · answer #8 · answered by andy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong to make him choose, he will hate for hit. You've already got 3 of your husbands sons, what's one more?
You should formally adopt him, take away the other mother's rights. That way you wont have to deal with her.
You have the chance to save this boy from growing up with a bunch of bogans, and give him the chance of a decent family. It is selfish of you to be acting this way, and if you keep it up, he WILL leave you. That will hurt your boys.
2007-10-31 05:40:37 · answer #9 · answered by A derka der 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your husband is trying to take care of his responsibilities. You on the other hand, have a very trashy attitude. You sound like a heartless woman. What should you do? Accept the son. What should he do? Well, unless you accept your husband's child, he should leave you for a better woman and a life with his children, all of them, meaning you should lose custody of your children before you rub off that nastiness you have inside you on them.
2007-10-31 04:56:39 · answer #10 · answered by some female 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋