Is it not a crime to love someone else after marriage? How people do it, I can’t understand?

Question

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Answer 1

I don't understand why anyone would think it is a crime at all. We are all human and have needs. It is all about being able to open up yourself again to someone, to trust again. I was married for 10 years, and he cheated on me for about 6 of those years. We divorced, and I did the single scene for about 2 years, and met my children's dad, and we were together for 8 years, and we split up because he was very abusive to me after our children were born, and I haven't been with anyone else since. I dated about a year ago, for about 7 months, and we ended it, and have been single since October 13th 2006. I have two children now, and I am very picky about having someone other than their father around them. I saw that guy for 7 months, but he only came over at night when they were in the bed, so they knew him but never knew he was around me in that way ya know,,,The guy that I do have around them will have to be very special, and worthy of having them in his life,,,so I think that it is a priveledge to be part of an already formed family. I am my children's father and mother, and it works for us. I am not looking for a father for them,,,they already have one, worthless, but have one, and I am not sure what it really is that I am looking for, so therefore, I just don't really look, not becuase I feel like I am breaking a law, of finding another, but of my own reason of waiting until the time is right, and when it is I will know....

So I do believe everyone can find love, and it is possible to love another, and it is all about the individual, and what they need and desire.

I need my children, but I desire the company of another sometimes,,,,but not all the time ya know,,,,and I am content with that,,,I am not trying to be one of those moms,,,that has this one and that one around their kids.

Good question
Daphne

Answer 2

Marriage is a sacred part in ones life.Through the marriage you are informing the world the legal bondage established between the two,become a recognised couple to participate in all activities the society for an happy living together.Whether to love someone else after marriage is crime or not depends upon ones own understanding and conviction about the relationship of the marriage. Marriage is to be respected. Once you lose faith in the marriage then you will not even think whether the act is crime or not.
If you can't understand how people do it, be happy about it !

Answer 3

Crime no, but it is the sin called adultery and sins are almost indistinguishable from crimes.
Government shouldn’t try to control who loves whom. That is not government’s job, that is the job for society and religion.

Marriage is a contract in front of society and God between two partners to come between them should be a crime. People do it when they don’t respect others, when they are greedy, and when they only care about themselves. It is a horrible, horrible way to live your life and only a despicable person would engage in it.

Still it happens and it is one major reason for divorces. What happens is one partner falls out of love with the other because they fail to communicate with each other. I have seen this happen more than once in my life and I am happy to report that I helped one person to communicate with their partner better to save their marriage.

I have been reading your other questions and I hope this does not relate to the underage child in love with a 25 year old adult. That only makes the bad situation into a horrible one.

Answer 4

Cougar, I completely agree with you. I'm very similar to you, same age, same kind of spirit, same type of looks....and my husband and I do it every single day, sometimes twice. If he cut me off, I would be devastated. I couldn't handle that kind of rejection, and that's what it is. I need to affection, the bonding, the intimacy just as you do. It's ironic b/c most of the time on here, it's the husband who's not getting it from the wife, and I boldly speak out against that. It's just as true in this situation as well. When you get married, it's a part of the whole package deal that there will be sex. If one partner cuts the other off, uses it as a manipulative tool, or makes their partner beg and grovel for it, that's just plain wrong and in my opinion they have broken the marriage covenant.

Answer 5

Many of us are in agreement that loving someone else after marriage is morally wrong.

But what if you came into the marriage with your baggage of a "love that would have been"? And even during marriage your past love kept haunting you?

To move on is so easy to say. But to be honest about it, many are trapped in the past. Yes, life is not fair but it is just the way it is.

Answer 6

I personally cant understand the concept of having an extra marital affair..It seems an excuse of you being unmatured and irresponsible. Many gives an excuse of husband or wife being such irresponsible and so on...moreover that also shows the level of understanding and solving out misunderstanding between husband and wife. Also, the question arises is by having an extra marital are they being responsible? If they cant be faithful with their husband/wife then how can they be faithful with their so-called lovers coz after sometime they would leave them also for someone else? Its just an excuse to run away from their responsibilities and blame someone else for your irresponsibilities. According to me it is a crime coz you are playing and abusing someone's feelings and life.

Answer 7

I don't think it is a crime but it is ethically wrong. Some don't seem to understand that marriage is a commitment. However, some situations force people to indulge in affairs outside a marriage.

Answer 8

Mostly for Christian couples- it wont really matter to the rest of you, you prolly wont understand:


It is wrong and disgusting. it is a mentality like the worlds this: "its okay to look" that ruins so many marriages. Married couples are damn lucky that someone would even give two craps for their sorry butts, and God has blessed them enough to have one another and to not be sleeping alone everynight and having one night stands. dont abuse the sanctity of marriage by "lusting" i mean, "Loving" someone else at the same time! your partner deserves better than such! Love is so magic, and so passionate and so wonderful and blessed, anyone who could be so blessed to find love should never even look for another. I doubt very highly if someone was ever truly in love if they are supposedly "in love" with another in the time of marriage. God isnt to be messed with, neither is one of his most amazing creations!!! Love is rare, special, and true love is the rarest of all, if your lucky enough to find it, be happy with the one you chose, hold him and keep him (or her) and love her until the very breath leaves your body...you chose to walk down that alter (or office), and YOU chose to say I do FOREVER, NOMATTER WHAT! It is not your place to love another now, you have devoted yourself wholley and completly before the Lord to this man or woman, granted, there are 2 biblical ways of legitimate divorce- 1: he/she commits sexual immorality, 2: he/she does not want to follow Jesus Christ the way you do and refuses him. unless that happens, dont you dare even try to think about another. were only human and we mess up, but that doesnt mean you have to entertain those thoughts or feelings. and if you do love another, bare your cross and deal, you cant have him/her until legally possible, otherwise youll feel like crap for being so heartless.

Answer 9

There may come a time in ones life that a person may become romantically attracted to another, but I feel you can overcome those feelings due to the love,respect, and integrity of a good solid marriage and notice I did not employ religious reasons!

Answer 10

Nurturing and acting on a romantic feeling for someone else besides your current wife/husband is morally wrong. Let me help you understand why people do it...Some people do it because they are tempted. They justify their bad actions by finding faults in their partner, thereby finding excuses to indulge in a lustful relationship with another person. Simply put, they succumb to Satan's trap... So,be watchful and always pray.Then flee from any temptation!