My friend is being adamant about wanting to be in the labor/delivery room with me when my daughter finally arrives. When she gave birth, she had family and friends in there with her (single mother). However, I am completely opposite! I only want my husband in there-I dont even want people to know Im in labor because I dont want to feel pressured and feel like everyone is waiting for me. The way I see it, my husband and I made this baby together-its a personal thing and its an experience I think only he and I should have together alone (aside from healthcare providers). Am I wrong to feel this way? How do I tell my friend without coming across as cold or a prude?
38w1d pregnant
2007-10-30 20:35:40 · 12 answers · asked by Mommy to 2 Princesses under 2 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Oops I mean MY not ME
2007-10-30 20:35:59 · update #1
I am SO on your side with this... Yes, we love that children are coming into the world... BUT we do not need have to town in the room with us...
You have whom every YOU and your husband want and NO ONE else. and at no time should you feel bad about it.
I would not even let this friend know when you get into labor.. cause you know she is going to want to be in the room and might even wait outside the door.
Rememer. you do what you need to do...
2007-10-30 20:42:18 · answer #1 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would just be up front with her. giving birth can be a very private thing and you need to be comfortbale so you can concentrate. tell her that she is more than welcome to visit while in labor and after the birth, but you are married and not single and she needs to understand your situation is different. you can always tell her that you and your hubby decided you want to share this experience alone together cuz that is how you both would feel the most comfortable. if she still doesnt get it then talk to the nurse when you get there and let her know only your husband stays so when you are ready they will ask everyone to leave the room during the birth.
you are not wrong for your feelings, i didnt want anyone in the room with me except my husband, well i wanted my mom too, but then i had to have my mother in law cuz i would never hear the end of it!!!
anyways, if your friend is real she will understand. she can stil be there for you
2007-10-31 03:53:24 · answer #2 · answered by LuckyMama06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong in the way u feel. I am a new dad, and i think that childbirth is a wonderful thing but it is also personal. My wife was the same way. She just wanted me and no one els in there with her. When i told my mom she got all defensive and upset that she wouldn't be in there. I couldn't believe that. I mean sure it is her first grandchild but come on. And my wife's family kept randomly popping in during labor and that just irritated my wife. We even told the nurses not to let anyone in, but few of em just found a way. Maybe its cuz im a guy, but i don't see why anyone besides the parents think they need to be in there. Unless the woman wants them there of course. Anyways I think your are more than right at feeling the way u do. I think if your just honest and tell your friend as nicely as u can, lol, that she will accept your decision. If not she cant hold a stupid grudge like that for too long, especially after your beautiful baby is born and is growing up. No one would look at a 2 year old kid that isn't theirs and say to themselves "man i wish i was there when that kid was born"
Congrats on the bun in the oven hun!!
2007-10-31 04:13:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont want anyone else but my husband in the room with me. He and I had no company during conception, we'd like the delivery to be equally private. Yes, you decided that it was best for you to have family and friends present during your delivery, however, that isnt going to work for me. I'm sorry if this upsets you.
OR
The doctor feels that there is something that isnt quite right here and they may need to_______________(insert medical BS here) and they arent even sure if they can guarantee that my husband will be able to be in the delivery room. I know this sucks and I really wanted you to be there. Maybe next time, Sweetie.
2007-10-31 03:56:57 · answer #4 · answered by MHnurseC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way and I think it is best that you just tell her that way. Let her know that you think it is a personal experience meant only for the parents to be. I have had this discussion so many times with my mother in law and it is best if you just be blunt about it.
2007-10-31 03:40:37 · answer #5 · answered by who said that? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its not wrong. many people feel that way. i agree with you. tell her what you just told us here. if she's your friend she will understand. who want anyone other than their spouse to see their vagina open and push a baby out of there? it shouldn't offend her. its not like you're telling her no and letting another friend be there. if you just want your husband in there then so be it. it will be your day and your baby so you do what you gotta do to make that day the best for YOU.
2007-10-31 07:14:00 · answer #6 · answered by over the rainbow girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just don't tell anyone except family when you go into labour, I wouldn't have wanted anyone else except my partner with me when I gave birth last week, it was touch and go at some times as to whether I even wanted him there!! even though all dignity goes out of the window during labour, and you don't care which midwife routes round in your lady bits, whether you happen to pop a poop out or the sometimes foul language that comes out of your mouth, you still don't want an audience of your friends!! Good luck. xx
2007-10-31 03:45:02 · answer #7 · answered by Little Bear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with her but if you don't want to be tell her that the doctor has recommended only one other person to be in there adn it will be your husband.
2007-10-31 03:44:58 · answer #8 · answered by Lise Wisey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her, u really appreciate her care, you'll like to share this special moment with her........ but not in the labour room. Ask her to wait for you in your ward. She'll understand... BTW, congrats....
2007-10-31 03:44:32 · answer #9 · answered by F T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a baby is a gift you know that! i dont see why you woluldent want your friend to experience that felling with you if you cared of her feeling to you would let her be in the room with you
2007-10-31 05:41:46 · answer #10 · answered by sexy new york 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋