what would you do if a computer game took over your marriage?

Question

my husband started playing the game world of war craft around three years ago i have three children ages 8 5 and 2 that have got used to the fact there farther woud rather play this game than play with them it is also hard for me to accept that i have lost him to this game every time i say somthing to him im called a nag am i over reacting
i call myself a computer widow help what do i do now

Answer 1

I sympathize complete with you, as i have walked away from the family to do Y!A and i can't seem to break myself of it.

let me give you hints that may help at least put balance to his playing.

It doesn't matter! He can kill goblins until the end of time, but it makes no real difference in life. Your children are really important.

I know that if my wife really asked me to come be with her, or my son wanted to play video games with me, I would go.

he has to be reminded of what is of true importance

Answer 2

Is he playing constantly? He might be using the game as an "out" to get away from his life. You might want to go to marriage counseling. A guy who just has a girlfriend can play as many games as he wants; a girl can always find another boyfriend. However, a wife shouldn't have to find another husband. Also, he has a responsibility to be available to his children. He's setting your kids up for some serious mental issues in later life.

However, if he's just playing for an hour or two per night, perhaps you should find a hobby of your own. Gaming doesn't turn into an addiction until the player won't pay attention to their own life anymore.

Don't listen to the kids on here who say that it's "just a hobby"....they don't understand the responsibility behind being a husband and father.

Answer 3

Talk to him in a serious tone of voice but don't sound condisending. Ask him if he will be willing to compromise his game use to only after the kids are in bed at night. Usually my kids are in bed during the week by 8, so if that's the same sort of case at your house, then he could be playing from 8-11 and that's a long time.

Get him to compromise and make him stick to it.

He deserves some down-time after work to do what he wants, but the kids should ALWAYS take priority over a computer game. Organize a fun family outing so that you are actually out of the house so he won't be so tempted to log-on. Even a trip to Target or the park or a walk around the block would be good.

Good luck.

Answer 4

First of all, assuming I wasn't overreacting (and you may ask a couple friends who have seen first hand what you live with to confirm this for you), I would ask myself an obvious question: how much does my marriage mean to me? Would I rather be a "computer widow" than a "divorcee"? Would my kids rather live with a "computer father" or without him? Personally, I would be prepared to separate, at least for a period of time, so I would give him an ultimatum: either he limits his gaming to a reasonable amount of time (I would specify the time, just like I would a kid's allotted TV time), or I would be seeking a legal separation. I would suggest a trial period of one month to see if he can comply, without saying another word. That is not nagging.....that is being reasonable.

He may "over react" or he may try to put a guilt trip on you, or he may pack his bags. That is why I feel you have to make up your mind before you approach him as to how badly you want this to change. If he does agree to try to limit his gaming, and makes an effort, be sure to encourage him and applaud his progress, plan some fun stuff to do as a family, get involved with friends again....non-gaming friends.....and let him know how much you appreciate his efforts.

Answer 5

Widow might not be the right term.

Your hubbys got a special "L" tattooed to his forehead in Dr. Phils book I bet. Tell 'im to "man up" You're not a nag. Bash that ugly hunk of techie junk into the wall, then ask to go for a walk and have a life instead of pretend on a flat screen that you're strong and powerful and intellligent after dieing so many times you get an idea of how to survive, because there is only one life here on planet earth and he's failing this game rapidly, with no real effort involved. Tell him thriveing is done "here and now" not after the next game or the next day or the next week. Thriving is not being a sucked to the tube afraid of making mistakes in the real world and having failures daily. Thriving happens as an ACTION which he is not DOING therefore failing to provide guidence to his offspring.

I would shatter that t.v. just to feel like I could cook dinner without those awful stupid little blips of fakey wannabe noise. I HATE videogames and badly tuned men, it's almost as bad as if I'm dealing with a broken car that I'm afraid to kick because then I'd have to pay someone else to throw it away after it breaks from my anger. Tell if he likes the game there a few wars here and now he could experience for "real" involveing families, money, oil, riches, treasure, bad guys, and ohh yeah, tomb raiders chic in cool outfits and if he chooses to, that he would at least be getting paid to ignore his family and then you coudl provide a better influence for his progeny which you have more hope for then he does.

Answer 6

People who disappear into video games, especially role playing ones, are sometimes unsatisfied with their real lives. Nagging or threats will only make him dig deeper into his fantasy world. You ever try having sex with him or anything else positive that will get him off the computer? He had other interests before Blizzard sucked him in, try and get him back into those things. You might not of liked those at the time, but I'm sure they did not eat up his time like WoW does now.

Answer 7

lol, I like the computer widow comment. But seriously. World of wearcraft, also known as WoW, is an axtremely addiction game. Take this seriously! This is not just him being a boy and being silly with his little games. Computer gaming, and expecially WoW, has addicted thousands of people to it and it is a real addiction. It is a real as being addicted to anything. The first part, like any addiction, is getting the person to realize that he or she is addicted. Make him realize that you are seriously troubled and that you feel neglected. You can search online for WoW addictions and you'll find millions of stuff. I was addicted to WoW personally for a few years and I know it is not easy. Don't just nag him, take it seriously and start researching addictions and the steps to getting over them.

Answer 8

is he playing 24/7 ?? if that's the case then talk to him seriously and ask him whats more important.. your family or the computer games ? if he said the family then he got to start making time for his family if he didn't do it then destroy his game and unplug the computer then if he gets angry over that matter.. you should tell him that you will leave him..just be careful though of saying things that you could not do.. if you say something to him or threatening him to leave then you should do it because if you don't he will just do whatever the hell he wants to do because he knows that your just saying it and not really doing it.. his manipulating you and he thinks that your fine with that.. because he knows that you can not make a decision for your self because you can't live without him.

Answer 9

Thats funny my wife says the computer is my second wife!
I am not even on it that much a few hours a day, I don't play games but some people can get addicted to them.
If it affects your family in that manner a dratstic change is needed!

Answer 10

well you could always get rid of the computer, j/k. this is something you guys really need to sit down and talk about. i mean does he even realize that by living in his fantasy world his reality is just passing by. kids only grow up once, no replays on that. if he starts to call you a nag, tell him "yeah, im a damn nag, I'm trying to nag you into realizing that you have 3 wonderful children that need to have their father in their lives." if you are fighting for a worthy cause, like your kids, then you have every right to be a "nag".