when i was letting him see them he would come to my house but was seeing me also ,but i told him i dont want him coming over anymore cause he was always coming over drunk and real late ,and i got tired of putting up with that type of relationship. well now he wants to pick them up but i feel like he has a drinking problem when he did come over he would bring his other son over and pass out and not watch him i dont want him to do that with my kids so i jusr ignore him and dodge his calls because i am not gonna let him take them ,but i dont want him to take me back to court either but if i let him come over and play house with him he doesnt try to take them by the way he lives with anther women who swears they just roomates but then again she tells him she does not want my kids at his house its confusing and i just want to leave him alone completly but he says he will get a lawyer to get his kids and he does have the money for one the kids anr 3months and 2 years old girls
2007-10-30 16:54:49 · 11 answers · asked by Sd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you may need to modify the visitation order talk with a social worker and express your concerns or contact the lawyer you used for the divorce if you have just cause and a real concern the welfare of the kids is far to important to not take action. you can be held in contempt of a court order so to protect yourself seek further legal advice.
2007-10-30 17:03:55 · answer #1 · answered by mc52132000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your meeting time and place in writing, in the court order? If so, tell the ex that is where you will be for 15 min past the appointed time. If he is not there you/they will see him on the next visit. Take a toll road or go to a convenience store in the area right before the child exchange. Buy a soda or tea or bagel and keep the receipt to show where and when your were there. This is to show in court should he give you a hard time at a later date.
2016-05-26 04:12:12 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be in contempt if you don't let him visit with the kids. BUT..if he comes to pick them up you DON'T have to let them go even if you suspect he has been drinking. Tell him no and call the police and tell them you suspect he is drinking. I am going through this right now. My ex is a raging alcoholic and I am trying to get supervised visitaion. You probly won't be able to take his rights completely that is very hard to do. If you believe you need a modification of custody than do it. You will need proof and witnesses to his drinking. I do think you are damaging your children by letting him come over "to play house" as you say. But I understand your concerns. Good luck!!
2007-10-30 17:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy to 4 boys :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could file contempt and then when you go to court, then you can state as to why. It might be that he will have to have some kind of visitation where it isn't overnight and someone there to supervise. It sounds like he is trying to control you through your children.......I had the same problem with my Ex. Same scenario....drinking.....drunk....etc. etc. He threatened to get an atty., but I finally called his bluff. Told him NO, he even had an attorney call me, but I said we could go to court and I would be happy to explain why I am not allowing visitation. He finally settled down with a girlfriend, who amazingly was a nice lady and then I started allowing day visits just to see how it went. This lady helped lift a huge weight off my shoulders and mind, as I knew my daughter was safe with her being there. Have you thought of having an officer around if he tries to pick up and is driving........good way to solve that problem right away. Hard to have visitation if you have a DUI........I would get in touch with an attorney for an hour consultation, which is usually free for the first hour. I wish you all the best and be strong and stand up for yourself and your children!
2007-10-30 17:07:50 · answer #4 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to your attorney immediately. Do not ever let those children go with him if you smell alcohol. Call the police instead so they can intervene and prove that you are correct if that's what you need to do. But you don't wait. Call your attorney, no matter how much it costs. I don't mean to be rude, but come on. This is serious stuff and you shouldn't even need to ask the questions. This is common sense take care of your kids.
2007-10-30 17:01:46 · answer #5 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to contact your attorney and figure it out. You don't want him to hold you in contempt of court for not letting the kids go. Maybe if he comes to pick them up and you can tell he has been drinking, call the police and tell them that he is drinking and have them come check him.
You have to protect your kids and I think you are right to be concerned.
2007-10-30 17:01:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I am not a lawyer, but you are probably going to need one.
If the court has awarded him visitation, then you will be in contempt of that court order by not allowing your ex visitation.
If you have very real concerns about his fitness to parent during these times, then YOU need to take action, family court, counseling, supervised visitation, joint parenting agreement, who knows.
Your divorce is very new and you both need to work through all of the ugliness of that, be the bigger persons for the sake of these little girls.
Staying out of other serious relationships and focusing on being a parent should be the number one priority for both of you.
While your solution may involve legal help, you can take a direction that insures your childrens health, safety and well being. For instance, a court could order your husband to not drink during visitation. To violate that would put him in contempt of court. There may have to be a third party involved at visitation times to insure your ex is not intoxicated and fit to spend time with his children.
I bleed for you and wish you all the best. I was there once, I received sole custody of my young sons and in spite of their mother they have grown up to be fine young men. She mostly used her visitation to allow innappropriate behaviours to prove how cool she was. Sadly, at times like those, you just have to rely on the children you raised to make the right choices.
Your children are so young, you should focus on how to insure their wellbeing during visitation with their father.
These kids need both of you to be the best you can be, for them.
best wishes for a happy outcome
2007-10-30 17:11:04 · answer #7 · answered by John 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about that and worry about the damage YOU are causing to your children.
I for one do not want to be robbed by your son in 18 years or see your daughter at a strip club in 18 years.
Good luck. Realize now your actions do have consequences.
2007-10-30 17:04:30 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to go back to the courts and tell the courts he keeps showing up drunk..best to have a witness...have the courts reassign his visitation. But if you try to do it on your own..you could loose your kids and go to jail for not following a court order
2007-10-30 17:09:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your in trouble... He needs the crap kicked out of him... Just cover your bases... get a PFA and then the court will set up the visatation and it will be away from you and supervised... Good luck
2007-10-30 17:35:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋