She told me about her first time, and the way she described it was inappropriate. It was only words, and it happened in the past, and I'm sure she loves me now...but I just can't shake it. Her first time involved "no-strings attached" sex, she said he was "amazing," and he could be a porn star and write a book. She even gave the whole experience a nick name. It hurt my feelings, especially since I was having erection problems at the time. I can't get this out of my head. I don't know what to do. I told her about this...she thinks I need counseling. :( I feel so deeply hurt and I can't shake it. It's like a terrible, terrible movie that keeps playing in my head, over and over. I just don't want to have to feel this way.
2007-10-30 15:40:29 · 8 answers · asked by The Rainmaker 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You are right in thinking that she is not the one... You will never meet her expectations by the description of how she replays her "experience" with this other guy. She will never let it go until she gets over her own twisted issues and you deserve better.
This is the emotional equivalent of rape and she is the executor of the rape itself. Anyone that has this little tact, to rub in the past from something as private as sex, needs some sensitivity training and if she thinks its YOUR problem, she is really mistaken. Id take offense too. Im on your side of the court...
2007-10-30 15:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by shreditspot 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend is EXACTLY the same way as you. All he knows is that I gave a handjob ONCE before to a guy I didn't care about and he says there are times when he can't stop thinking about it and imagining it in his head and just goes crazy. I don't know what to do. He has pretty bad anxiety and a lot of mental issues. He saw a psychiatrist and takes meds and St. John's Wort (look it up) which are helping him control his thoughts a little better. If the thoughts don't go away I'd see someone about it...maybe even go with her. It seems like you really care about her but she doesn't care about you or your feelings that much. Why would she tell you that in an innapropriate way?
2007-10-30 16:05:20 · answer #2 · answered by LaLaLaa♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think in a odd way she is trying to tell you what she wants from you, fore play etc. Go for it she has opened the toy box at least see what is inside.
As for the erection problem you are experiencing, please see a doctor. It may be a blood flow problem.
If you are a heavy drinker, stop. One of the problems caused by alcohol is erectile dysfunction. Once again blood flow problem.
This person could be a great experience for you, however long term relationship would require sharing you thoughts with her.
When you go to college, take "human sexuality". the more you learn the more comfortable you will be. Best to you, and above all have fun.
2007-10-30 16:19:21 · answer #3 · answered by All-One 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you don't need counseling...
First of all - drop the girlfriend. Anyone that talks about their past like that with ANYONE, let alone a significant other, is not worthy of your love, let alone your breath speaking about her!
Secondly, she has obviously hurt you enough that you're continuing to have erectile problems. If this was a problem prior to the discussion, I would say there were some intimacy concerns that you need to work out, which speaking with a counselor may help with that. Or there may be a biological problem. If its the latter, speak with your PCP to get testing done to make sure you dont have any problems.
However, if the erectile problems have occurred since then - you gotta face the facts and get rid of the girlfriend (which would be my recommendation anyway). We dont want to hear about our exes pasts, expecially their first times and the "spectacularness" of it all. Someone who loves you wouldnt say a thing :)
2007-10-30 16:10:24 · answer #4 · answered by PsychPrincess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but if she's that hung up on him, why is she with you? Seems to me you need a better woman. Describing her first time to you in detail? That ain't right. If you need counseling, she needs to foot the bill.
2007-10-30 15:53:27 · answer #5 · answered by spunk113 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is the one that needs counseling and u need to find another girl that wont relieve that experience over and over again as if it should matter to u, which it does.
if she enjoyed what she did at the time, she shouldnt be enjoying telling you the whole story as if it was no big deal.
2007-10-30 15:55:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
god you are a baby. yes it might have been insensitive for her to describe a sexual experience with another guy to you but you need to tell her that, not go to counseling. yous a ***** dogg
2007-10-30 16:07:10 · answer #7 · answered by joshtheG 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Please find a new girlfriend. She doesn't appear to care about your feelings or how what she's shared with you effects you.
2007-10-30 16:06:33 · answer #8 · answered by Freckles... 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋