What questions would they ask?

Question

I recently told my parents about a man who molestered me and my friend since we were 6 or 7, I can't really remember. It was definitely before we were 8. Anyway, I'm 13 now. But they want to send me to a counsillor, but they said it's my decision. I know it would be good to go to a counsillor. But I can only talk to one person about all of this, and that's my friend who went through it too. But the problem is, we both moved to different countries a few years ago, so she now lives in Australia and I now live in Ireland. I can't even talk to my parents even though they've known for a few weeks now. They try to talk to me, but i hate it and end up hiding under my quilt or something. I'm scared of what questions a counsillor would ask, what do you think they would ask? I don't want to relive the experience again and have to talk about it, and i don't want them asking awkward questions.

Also, I've been begging my parents to organise for me to meet with my friend, because I feel really alone without my friend being here. I can't even talk to her on the phone or msn because of the time difference. And I really just want her to be here while this is going on. I've been staying up till 4am every night incase she comes online, and only sometimes does she actually have time to come on and talk. My parents said that hopefully our families will meet up soon, and I was thinking, maybe that would be a good time to do counsilling, like, me and my friend could do it together. I would feel better if she was there.

Oh, and sorry if you got the wrong idea. I still talk to my parents, but I just can't talk to them about the man molestering me.

Answer 1

Honey, it sounds like you are having a very very difficult time with this situation. First and foremost, I read your other post and I have concerns about the anxiety you are describing as well as the fact that you just disclosed a HUGE traumatic thing that occurred to you at a young age.

I am a mental health counselor and feel that it would be in your best interest to seek help. A true professional is not going to MAKE you answer questions that you are uncomfortable with. Therapy is client led - you get to talk about what you want to talk about. We may ask questions to get more information but you can choose when and if you should answer those questions.

Talk to you parents - tell them you would like to see somebody, but you want to find a person you are comfortable with. Look in your local phone book or ask your guidance counselor for a recommendation. First decision - Are you more comfortable with a male or female counselor? Go from there. Does age bother you? Do you want a young hip counselor or an older, parent type counselor?

Give the counselor two sessions. One to "talk about the weather" and get to know each other. The other to see if your comfortable talking about yourself and your concerns. If after two sessions, your not comfortable, ask the counselor to make a referral to another person. Remember, counseling is all about you sweetheart! You need someone that YOU will feel comfortable with and be able to explain how you feel.

Regarding your friend - you both need each other. How much is the time difference? Can you call in the am when its PM her time? You can email, but I'd recommend you write letters to each other - and get downright nasty in the letters explaining how you feel about what this man did to the two of you. You two need to maintain your friendship because you two can help each other through this. Let you parents know you cant lose her as a friend.

Above all - seek help. You have had someone do something HORRIBLE and ILLEGAL to you. You are a survivor. Be strong.

Answer 2

You must be brave and talk to a therapist about the molestation or you could end up being miserable for years. Please take it from someone who has shared your experience. You will, of course, have to talk about the experience but a good therapist will let you take it slowly and a bit at a time. I would suggest getting right in there with both feet though because telling about the experience is only the very beginning of your therapy. After that , you need to process your experience and your feelings and learn to feel safe and happy again. It takes some time but you can do it. Just don't be scared to start. One step at a time. Get started. Don't stay under that quilt or you will still be under there in 10 years.

Answer 3

I only answer questions when I have a genuine question which normally means not asking it in this section but other sections. When I have asked them on here it is normally after reading something someone else has written and then it has had me questioning another side of it. I asked a question the other day when I saw a Pakistan member bagging out my team and then it got the question of which player has played the most matches test matches without ever playing a test in the country they are a citizen of? Funny enough that person who inspired the question bad mouthed me in the question. I answer questions to help with genuine questions and just for the sake of answering for the trolling questions. I just answer any I can give a genuine answer to and ones where I want to point out some missing facts or dilusions points of view when it comes to anti-another country view. Some have said in the past that I have been "Anti-Indian" with my answers, but truth is that I am often sticking up for Indian's when it comes to the idiot who posts the anti-India rubbish who people claim is Irish. The user is definitely not Irish and none of the manourisms fit with those which Irish people generally display.

Answer 4

hey would ask you how you are feeling. What kind of things go thru your mind.

You should not have to talk at all about what was done.

And if you just want to curl up and hide while there that would be fine (for a while).

A good counselor really helps. And will ot nind if you refuse to answer something.

Try regular e-mail and the time difference woun't matter. Tough to miss a friend, but you can still 'talk' some.

Answer 5

I have been in counseling for many years. I have had great therapists and not so great therapists.

The problem with tramatic events is that they never go away. When you least expect it they come back into your life in ways you would never imagine. Mine (rape and psychological abuse) affected my marriage (I am now divorced after 16 years of marriage).

I didn't get help until I was 21. Even then it was only basic counseling for depression. It wasn't until I was in my thirties that I started to address my issues around the rape and the psychological abuse.

I wish I had gone into counseling sooner. My life would have been so much better.

Post Tramatic Stress Disorder can rob you of your life. If you decide to go into counseling (and I hope you do) don't be afraid to change therapists if the first one doesn't seem to be the right fit (I've changed several times and now have a great therapist that I trust completely). You should feel comfortable discussing your situation and feelings with your therapist. You should also feel confident that your therapist will be there when you need him or her and will recommend additional treatment if needed.

Friends are great to talk to but a therapist is trained to take you through the necessary steps to help with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Please don't be afraid of seeing a therapist. Like I said before, in retrospect I wish I had sought treatment much sooner!

Answer 6

I recently started seeing a counselor myself (not for anything as serious as what you went through, but still for a legit problem). I honestly wasn't sure how much help it would be, but I knew I needed help and I didn't know what else to do. It was a good decision. Most of the questions I've been asked have been related, but make me think about my problem in a new way. I'm sure if you let them know how you feel (about the not wanting to relive the incident) they will work around that. However, also keep in mind that in order for a counselor to help you, you must be willing to accept help. In addition, it will probably not be easy. I definitely recommend counseling at some point to help you work through it, but things may still be too fresh for you to be able to handle it.

Answer 7

A counselor can only help. You should clue your parents in too. Ive moved about 11 times in the past 10 years I know how you feel. You have to bloom where your planted. Its not that you dint have friends , you just need to go out and make new ones.

Answer 8

If it's completely ur choice and u feel it would help then going to a councellior might help, and u can answer what u want and ignore what u don't for the most part, unless u get one of the pushy ones....
Talking to ur friend would be awssome, and together if it'll help might help both of u a lot.
for the most part they're just ask like about u in general then about why ur there and all.
i hope this helps answer a bit. ^_^