Do you have to trust someone to love them?

Question

This is not just a "relationship" question...it relates to all friendships and other relationships in life. Can love transcend the issue of trust at times?

Answer 1

You can love someone you can't trust but you can't be IN LOVE with them because there will always be doubts in the back of your mind. It will cause fights which will make the relationship unbearable and eventually lead to a break up.

Answer 2

Love is a strong, complex emotion that, at times, seems to have more control over us than we have over it - and we don't always choose the people we love in certain relationships outside of family - it just happens, and we love many different people for many different reasons. We don't get to choose our family either, of course - but a family relationship, usually, is such a strong bond and our love for one another so ingrained; that even though sometimes we don't even like certain family members, have been hurt or even betrayed by them, - we still love them and are much more forgiving.

So, do you have to trust someone to love them? I would have to say that trust is very important and would affect the quality of your love for that person. Eventually, I believe if trust became an issue, that lack of trust would erode the love. For love to be strong and positive, trust is an important component. Can love transcend the issue of trust at times? I believe that depends on the reason why trust became an issue in the first place and the impact it had on you and the relationship and how forgiving you can be, or should be - trust can be regained, but it takes time and a lot of work. But a person will take the time and will work at it, if the love is really there and worth saving - so yes, love can sometimes transcend the issue of trust.

Love, and relationships, are complicated - and there are no simple answers.

Answer 3

No to the first question, yes to the second. For a long time I did not trust my husband, but I still loved him very much. Our trust issue is getting better, and we have a better relationship because of that, but I don't think you HAVE to trust someone to love them, you just have to care about them a lot and want to work through all the difficult parts in life together.

Answer 4

Not necessarily, but in any *healthy* relationship, people should be able to rely on and trust one another. But you can still feel like you love someone even if you have doubts. Some people tolerate more mistreatment and bullsh*t than others and will continue putting their trust and love in someone who doesn't deserve it. You can still care about a friend who repeatedly flakes on plans, or be attached to a boy- or girlfriend who has cheated or otherwise hurt you. You can feel obligated or naturally inclined to love a family member who criticizes you or your choices, suffers from alcoholism or a drug habit, or is absent or distant in some way. Sometimes we want to believe in the best in people and hope that our pure love can be enough to keep everything happy and well. But unfortunately trusting someone who constantly lets you down only builds up resentment, stress, and grief. I'm sure we all wished love was enough, but stable, happy relationships require not just trust but trustworthy behavior.

Answer 5

Trust is very important in any relationship in life. You do not have to trust someone to love them, but be careful about such love connections. Even friendships need to be selected with care, otherwise, you might have to deal with the consequences. There are unscrupulous individuals who take advantage of people and just dissappear when you are in need. There are opportunists!

Love transcends the issue sometimes but you need to love and trust yourself first before you do the same for others. This includes mutual respect which is the basis of a healthy relationship.

Answer 6

No. You can deeply love someone (especially a child, a spouse, a parent) knowing that they would steal money from your purse the minute you turned around or take the first chance to spend the night away from home, or knowing that they will probably once again beat you to a pulp the next time they are angry or drunk. Some love naturally transcends the bad actions of others. I think your real question may be a matter of questioning if you love yourself (and the other person) enough to set limits with the person on what behaviors you will not tolerate and when it is time to painfully cut off the relationship for your own well-being.

Answer 7

You can love someone without trusting them. If you want a lasting relationship the trust must be there.

Answer 8

Sounds like your boyfriend has had some poor experiences in the past with women. That's unfortunate for him. It's not going to be fun never being trusted by the one who claims to love you so much. I'm sure he'd not like it if you felt that way about him. Perhaps over time he will learn to trust you if you don't play games with his heart and you're honest. If not...it's up to you whether you can handle the knowledge of not being trusted even when you know you deserve to be.

Answer 9

Yes it is very possible to love someone and not trust them. Although trust is a major factor in most relationships, it's not a condtion of "love". I have a few family members that I love with all my heart, but I would not trust them ith my credit cards.

Answer 10

I do believe that you have to have some kind of trust to love anyone. I guess what I am saying is that the people that I love have my trust in one way or another. I don't know that I trust each person that I love in the same way because everyoen is different!