My husband and I agreed not to go online to chat sites (myspace) and I found that he is on there chatting with other women, telling them how good they look and so on. I didnt see him asking for telephone numbers or anything....but it could eventually lead to that. (WE met online) Am I being insecure??
2007-10-30 15:17:12 · 15 answers · asked by lagina j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It probably depends on the bond and trust between the married couple, and how each of you interpret "flirting". My spouse does this "just to have fun". When I told him that his "having fun" was deeply hurting me and how would he feel if I were to do the same? His reply was that he doesn't care what I do because he trusts me, and if I am hurt by what he does then it means that I don't trust him and don't love him anymore. I think this justifies to himself, that what he is doing is okay, but I feel our 29 year marriage beginning to crumble. I hope his "having fun" is worth it!
2007-10-30 15:58:16 · answer #1 · answered by jewllyn 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wake up and smell the coffee - he is basically saying if you put it on a plate for him he'll not say no BUT read the signs - he is still very much interested in other girls and gets a kick out of niggling you about it. If he wanted something exclusive with you he would have told you by now and not just playfully flirted - as it is he can take you or leave you.. 2 choices then - put out and see that I am right OR make it clear to him that you would not sleep with him if he was the last man on earth - be aware that the latter strategy will mean that you are a challenge and he will attempt to notch you up even more - resist - unfortunately hon - for most men animal, mineral, vegetable - makes no difference he'd s**g it.
2016-05-26 03:57:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being insecure..Cheating is cheating..it all starts somewhere. Ask him to turn it around..Would he appreciate you doing that behind his back? Blocking the myspace sounds a little childish to me..You shouldn't have to do that..He is an adult and needs to make a choice and decide if he is going to honor the agreement you two have made. Perhaps some marriage counseling is in order for you so you all can both learn what it will take to strengthen your commitment to each other
2007-10-30 15:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by armywife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not. Myspace has ruined SO many relationships, you have a right to be worried. What's the point of him getting on there to look if he has no intention of it going anywhere?
Get on the computer and block myspace. Tell him this is NOT right. He is your husband and has no business shopping for other women online.
2007-10-30 15:29:17 · answer #4 · answered by Leah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ahhhhh..My Space is the place!!!! Not being insecure, just being a smart woman.
Might as well just slam it down on him good now. No reason to not let him know it is a big issue.
If you do want to really know all that is being said there are programs that will record all that is sent and received on your computer.
Some might say that if you go to that degree there is not much hope of confidence ever being restored but at least you would really know.
2007-10-30 15:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by Ronnie R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are being insecure, but you are PERFECTLY justified!
In many successful marriages flirting (online and in person) is not only acceptable, but encouraged. But in your case you both made an agreement not to flirt and he violated that agreement. That should be the basis of your discussion with him.
2007-10-30 16:23:08 · answer #6 · answered by a_niceguy_in_virginia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that was the agreement that you both made then he is BUSTED. Let him know what you found and see what he has to say for himself. Let him know that you will not be played for a fool and that you will not tolerate his lies and his philandering ways. If he doesn't put a stop to that, warn him that he is opening Pandora's box and that two can play the same game. (You just might play it better.)
2007-10-30 15:24:12 · answer #7 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he and you agreed to not go online to chat sites, he's breaking your agreement, and that's not o.k.
2007-10-30 15:41:49 · answer #8 · answered by joe b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I would sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him that you thought you guys agreed not to do it and see what he says. To me, all those things he is saying to those women, he needs to say to you. BUT, maybe he is getting the same from those women, (I.e. you look handsome, sexy, etc.). Do you tell him those things? If not, maybe you should start.
2007-10-30 15:21:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Shut that stuff down.
2007-10-30 15:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by GK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋