My brother is bringing his girlfriend home and she has 3 kids and they are Jehovas Witness... so they don't celebrate Christmas. I don't mind her religon... but I'm not going out of my way to take out all the tree and not decorate the house. This will also be the first Christmas for my newborn and I want it to be really special. Is this a bad time for us to meet? Should I buy her a present anyways... I'm a little confused. Are there any Jehovas Witness out there who can help me out?
2007-10-30 15:00:18 · 7 answers · asked by ******* 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
JWs don't believe in holidays, birthdays, or pretty much any kind of celebration for that matter. I'm surprised your brother would subject her to meeting the family on a holiday. But if they live far away and this is the only chance he has to get home, I understand. If not, you might want to suggest that you all meet another time.
Above all, do NOT change your plans for Christmas. This woman is not family, she's just a girlfriend. So she may be gone from your brother's life the next day, but your chances to have great memories of your newborn's first Christmas will be lost forever. Even if they got married, I would still encourage you not to change your traditions to placate her.
I would not give her a gift, unless you normally give your brother's girlfriends gifts when you meet them. (And be sure to wrap it in non-Christmas wrapping paper!) If you're doing it for Christmas, then don't. It would be forcing her to share in your traditions. And just as you shouldn't do that, she shouldn't try to preach at you. If she does start to go on about her religion, I would suggest that you tell her that you respect but do not share her beliefs and ask that she refrain from disrespecting your beliefs while in your home. But that's not to say that you couldn't ask her questions about her religion if you're really curious - I'm sure she'd be glad to tell you. It's getting a JW to stop talking about it that's hard!
2007-10-30 15:15:40 · answer #1 · answered by Neerdowellian 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure this is a touchy situation. I was raised JW and a few times in my life my mom did attend holiday gatherings "for the sake of the family and cause Grandma wants us to." She did not want us (her children) receiving any gifts and she made it known. My brother and I sat quietly by while everyone else opened gifts (we were used to not getting much of nothing so it weren't so bad) I do believe it was harder on the Grandmas, aunts and uncles not being allowed to give us anything than it was on us. So my Grandma did slip us a very small present each that my mom didn't know about. On the way home, my mother found we had been given something, snatched it from us and threw it out the car window while we were driving. She then called Grandma once we got home and fussed her out about not respecting her religion. The point of this story is it was more hurtful to us to have our "present" taken from us and thrown away than it would've been to get nothing at all. But my mom was an extremist. Maybe this lady you'll be faced with will be easier to work with. I'd say by the children a present each and take the time and care to wrap it in non christmas wrapping paper and sneak her off and ask her if thats okay BEFORE giving the gifts to the children. Just tell her you respect her you just don't want anyone left out, especially kids.
EDIT- from your original post I see she's not a hardcore JW. Willing to go to a Christmas celebration, 3 kids from previous marriage...that stuff is a big JW no-no. She's only a girlfriend to your brother so she couldn't have had someone badgering her for years to come to a celebration like my mother...therefore can't be as hardcore as my mom. So maybe she'll bend a bit and allow the kids to have the pressies. Unfortunately the only drawback is she may make the kids feel guilty IF she does allow them to accept them. I know I was always made to feel guilty. Even about pressies I couldn't keep.
2007-10-30 22:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by ABC123 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The answer is quite simple. For both parties not to feel uncomfortable or compromised, invite your brothers girlfriend over the following day, the 26th.
Is your brother studying with Jehovah's Witnesses?
2007-10-30 22:11:22 · answer #3 · answered by CRONKERS 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i have a friend who is married to a lady that is jehovah witness. she has 2 children from a previous marriage and they have a child together. she allows her children participate in the christmas festivities because she believes they should be given all options and they can choose later in life what they want to believe. ask your brother how to handle it. explain that you don't want to offend anyone but don't want to leave anyone out as well. explain the house will be decorated as usual and everything is going to go as it has in christmases past. hopefully he can give you some insight on how to handle the situation.
2007-10-30 22:46:01 · answer #4 · answered by Amy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My buddy is a JW. For the most part, he keeps to himself. He has given up on trying to convert me and I him.
The worst that can happen is that she tries to convert you. You will have to look up some anti-JW websites to know what to say to keep her from proselytizing you.
For the most part, just let her be her self and let your brother run interference for you.
If you want to get her a gift, by all means do so.
2007-10-30 22:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by Christmas Light Guy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yep. Tell your brother to stop by on the 26th.
2007-10-30 22:03:01 · answer #6 · answered by Goethe's Ghostwriter 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you know they dont celebrate but you want her to have a gift of welcome.
2007-10-30 22:07:49 · answer #7 · answered by donielle 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋