I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 months.. i'm 17 and he's 19. (seeing he should be more mature) we've recently been arguing over the stupidest things lately. He gets mad/jealous anytime i'm TEXTING on my phone- even when i'm not with him. He makes it a big issue and then it turns into a fight. i can't even use my cell phone anymore- there isn't a point in me having a phone anymore! Is this normal???
2007-10-30 14:58:26 · 28 answers · asked by ERiKA ! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sorry i wasn't specific; it doesn't matter if im texting my mom or a friend- he gets mad! He actually wants me to delete my myspace and i asked him why and he was like just because and i told him no because thats how i keep in touch with old friends. Anytime i want to hangout with a friend instead of him he gets sad and makes me feel bad. This is the longest relationship i've had (8 months) and throughout all these 8 months i felt like i've been in love, but not lately. we're fighting everyday now. apart of me wants to leave but apart of me wants to stay- i dont know what to do.
2007-10-30 15:08:30 · update #1
You asked if his behavior is normal....it is very common but I am not sure I would say it is normal.
Is it right? NO WAY.
Unfortunately, some young (and older) men have a real jealousy issue with their girlfriends. This typically happens with men who don't have much relationship experience or men who have had someone cheat on them.
When I was your age, I had a bf that was EXTREMELY jealous. I couldn't even hang out with my guy friends that I had since elementary school! According to him, I spent way too much time with my girlfriends and family. It was really crazy and he too would be all over the phone situation. We were also in a relationship for a long time. Ultimately, it came down to my happiness....
I tried over and over again to have open communication with him--but that failed. I ended up letting him go. I still talk to him and he STILL has the SAME problems with his gf of 5 years!!!!
Have you tried speaking with him about this? Are you happy enough in your relationship with him that you will suffer and not be able to go out with friends, use your phone, etc.? You have to do what makes you happy. If open communication doesn't work, you may try "taking a break" or ending the relationship.
You are a young woman and you are entitled to be happy and enjoy your younger years! Do what is best for you...you deserve it! Take care, and good luck.... :)
2007-10-30 15:15:11 · answer #1 · answered by Cindy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No he is trying to control you and is frustrated because you don't know he is, and he still can't control you. Nobody takes a telephone away with out wanting you to be as limited as he can make your life. I would get my phone back, and watch him now that this is escalating into a larger conflict. If he keeps it up you should be ready to throw him out or you leave. This is a control issue and it's good that it started before you married him and really was being controlled.
2007-10-30 15:09:29 · answer #2 · answered by redd headd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK sweety, I am answering this because I was in a similar relationship when I was your age. It got to the point where he wouldn't let me see my friends and he ruined my self esteem. And yes it started over silly little things like calling friends or talking on line. Your boyfriend is trying to control you. I cant tell you to dump him because you have to make that decision yourself. What I can tell you is if you don't address this situation it will only get worse. Be the strong fierce woman you know is inside you and stand up for yourself. I wish you all the best and to answer your question no its not normal and no its not OK.
2007-10-30 15:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by smile2cute 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
All kinds of Major RED FLAGS. You need to get out now before he really gets you crazy.
I am going to prove my point right here and now...Are you ready???
You already see what's coming and I know this because you are taking your first awkward steps into making a plan to get out by talking on here about it. READ what you wrote. There is no thing he can do or give you that is worth the loss of a major best part of life. I have handled so many of these cases and often times they don't turn out so well. Please, Please
2007-10-30 15:16:56 · answer #4 · answered by JOHN 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No if he is showing signs of possession then you need to break it off now. It sounds like he is trying to seperate you from your other friends. If this is the case then you definately want to get out now before it is to late. Those are generally the first signs of an abusive relationship.
2007-10-30 15:03:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to ditch him, do you live with your parents? This guy is becoming to possessive and he might hurt you? Your cell phone is your property not his. At 17, your life has just begun, don't throw it all away on someone who treats you this way. Trust me there will be other boyfriends through out your life.
2007-10-30 15:09:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 Just cuz he's older does not mean mature.
#2 Your seventeen, your job is not to make him happy, but to learn who you are.
#3 If he is "jealous", check his phone, it may be a guilty conscience.
#4 If this behaiour is ridiculous to you now and you let it continue, that is the green flag to him that you will accept it.
Time to stop dating and create a list of what you will and won't accept in a relationship. Where is your mother to tell you this stuff?
2007-10-30 15:06:41 · answer #7 · answered by blaqisbaq 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, its not normal. He is trying to control you, and right now its just the cell phone but it can escalate into controlling what you wear, who you can see or talk to, and even where you can go.
My suggestion is to move on to someone more compassionate and respectful of you as a person.
2007-10-30 15:01:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
who are u texting anyways?maybe he thinks that you're txting someone else or something like that.
of course not,you can use your phone anytime you want to.is he paying for your bills?
as long as you know the truth and you're being honest to him,there won't be anymore arguments.
both of you are still young..goodluck!
2007-10-30 15:11:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well figure out what the problem is...have u done anything to lose his trust in you. if not then im guesing its just him, maybe he is doing something u yet to know about so he is blaming you for it so it makes him feel better...um no this is NOT normal at all..just talk to him about it and text who u want. its not like you guys are married
2007-10-30 15:02:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋