My best friend is in love with a married man, she says she is aware it's no getting anywhere. Find a bf and now ask her to marry him, but she says still loves the married guy. I don't know what to tell her, I wouldn't like to be in her situation but as a friend I fell bad for her. What would you say to someone in this situation?Marry this guy who's asking her or what?
2007-10-30 13:52:06 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
nope that wont make her happy.
she cant go after the married man , he is commited .
if she has any morals. just stick it alone and mr right will come along. or its fun looking for him anyway!
2007-10-30 13:57:34 · answer #1 · answered by a c 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would she want her boyfriend to marry her if he was still in love with someone else? The answer to that question is all she needs to know and all you need to know too. For what it's worth, he could be. Why? If she can do it, so can he.
The answer to that question will reveal to her what her true intentions are and it will reveal to you the same PLUS what a help or a waste your energy would be in advising her.
It's wrong for her to use someone and their heart as a bandaid to her misfortune but she already knows that. It just seems easier for her fake and replace 'love' than to face reality. The problem is, she's no different from the rest of us: reality will bite. Question is, will she let is happen now when she has the friends, youth, resources and a chance for real love and a real marriage or will she let happen after a marriage, kids, stretchmarks and STILL no love? Her life, her choice. Good luck to you both!
2007-10-30 21:29:54 · answer #2 · answered by miamor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is wrong to get married if she doesn't love the guy whatever the reason. she needs some time to get herself together, figure out what qualities she loves in the married guy and then find someone who is not married who has those qualities. If she marries the guy she doesn't love, that will end eventually so it is better to wait until the right person comes along rather than to have to start looking for him later on in life.
2007-10-30 21:01:00 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she needs to get her **** together before she marries someone else. How could you encourage her to marry someone that she doesn't even love? It's not like going out and getting a new puppy just because the other one ran away! What about the bf's feelings? If you're going to be handing out advice to anyone, you need to be telling him just exactly where her heart is so he is on the same page as everyone else in this drama.
2007-10-30 20:57:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not marry a man that I did not love. Marriage is work and hard sometimes when you do love your partner. This marriage would be doomed before it even started. I would tell her to stay away from the married man and find someone that she can love before she marries.
2007-10-30 21:30:52 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the married guy - he's off limits. It's over. Stay away.
And don't marry the bf if you don't love him. Not fair to him.
Move on and find someone you do love.
2007-10-30 21:04:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say come clean now. If she doesn't love him, she shouldn't marry him. plain & simple. it's not right to step into something as serious as marriage when YOU KNOW for a fact your heart is not in it.
he may be hurt when she comes clean with him, but I guarntee he will respect her so much more for her honesty.... down the line.
it's moves like this that i believe are the reasons why divorce rates are soooo high these days. People follow that "if you can't be with the one you love, learn to love the one you with" rule and all that does is leads to broken hearts, resentment, and years and time wasted being miserable with each other.
she needs to cut that man free now and give him a chance to find someone who will really love him and want to be his wife..... not just settling for him because who she loves is already taken.
2007-10-30 21:03:54 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs Jackson - West 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry the bf. It will be unfair on him. Tell her to wait until she sorts herself out re: the married guy, before getting into a serious relationship.
2007-10-30 20:56:39 · answer #8 · answered by Linni 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No she shouldn't marry someone she doesn't love but she shouldn't string him along either. She really needs to get over this married guy.
2007-10-30 20:57:53 · answer #9 · answered by April First 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her heart is still with the married man, she's not ready to be a wife to her present boyfriend.
She needs to figure out what she wants before moving in either direction.
2007-10-30 21:10:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love him don't marry him trust me its very hard to get out of it when you do realize you made a mistake. The other guy she is in love with well how does she feel about her. I doubt he will leave his wife for her especially if he has kids.
2007-10-30 21:01:43 · answer #11 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋