I'm separated (5 mos. ago). A guy started pursuing me and told me how beautiful I was, was considerate, and had a lot of things in common. He didn't know I was separated. So I told him one night and he was okay with it. Then on our date, he acted really distant. So did his brother and sister-in-law (we went with them). He wouldn't tell me what they said about me being separated (we all attend a pretty conservative church). He said he just wanted it to be a friend thing. I told him I could live with that but it wasn't what I wanted since he originally called it a date. He seemed wishy-washy with his behavior the rest of the night. Then he ignored me the rest of the weekend. I emailed him to say I was okay with us just being friends. He emailed two days later and said, "I had a really great time and hope you did too. I just don't think it'll work out. Let's just be friends." Do you think he'll wait until I'm divorced? Is he still interested? I'm 28 and he's 42.
2007-10-30 13:50:11 · 11 answers · asked by mandirae23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It doesn't sound like he wants to take it any further.
2007-10-30 14:26:49 · answer #1 · answered by Gabriele M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there
At 42 he should be able to make your own decisions concerning who he wants to be with.
Probably a 'Mummy's Boy'.
At 28 I don't think you should worry to much about being with someone right now.
Company is good but don't get to serious cos of the rebound factor.
If you wunna be with someone its because of them & not their family who could be a hinderance to the relationship later.
I sugest pulling back a little & wait for him to contact you, then explain to him that any contact with you will be on your terms & not his or his family's.
Hope all goes well for you.
Cheers & Good Luck
B.
2007-10-31 00:02:57 · answer #2 · answered by Bruinou B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there really was an attraction, i think he will reconsider things once the divorce is final. a lot of people i know get turned off when they start dating a separated person. maybe he still feels like you are married. good luck with everything
2007-10-30 21:02:04 · answer #3 · answered by .... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when your divorce is completely final email or call him and tell him you would like to go for a cup of coffee to announce your new marital status. that is it. doing that is dignified does not look like you are chasing him or bringing up his reaction to you being separated, and, it is easy, casual and puts the ball in his court. at 42 i dont know if he just does not want to date someone who is divorced, at his age he should know there arent a lot of virgins out there.....
2007-10-30 21:25:23 · answer #4 · answered by jaded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he really have to spell it out to you in any more clear of a way? Are you really that dense?
Wait until the divorce is final and the scares have healed some before you go down this road again.
Good luck.
2007-10-30 21:01:09 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, it sounds like he isn't interested. If he is 42 and still being influenced by what others think, then he really needs some help.
2007-10-30 21:02:22 · answer #6 · answered by mredgarjr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't stand up for himself, and has been influenced by others, just ask yourself, "do I really want to pursue a relationship with this kind of person?"
2007-10-30 20:59:09 · answer #7 · answered by Linni 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesnt want to be with you. I wouldnt want to wait for him to get divorced...if he doesnt like you right now then find someone that wil apprecate you. Hell..my husband and i got married on the smae day he got divorce....no..he didnt cheat on his ex..they were fully seperated and planning on divorce..and it never even came into my mind that he would leave me to go back to her. I knew he wouldnt, and i loved him
2007-10-30 21:02:17 · answer #8 · answered by rednecksurfer_roxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
more then likely at 42 he is still interested and will wait but he may not tell you that.
2007-10-30 21:03:44 · answer #9 · answered by April First 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are still married. He doesn't want to date a married woman. It doesn't sound like he's still interested to me.
2007-10-30 20:56:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋