hi...
can anyone tell me what should i do??? i found out that my husband watches porn and visits adult chat sites when i was checking for something else in history of explorer...i came across this....now.....what should i do??? should i discuss this openly with him or just let me continue by ignoring this...our sexlife is ok and i love him.
2007-10-30 12:20:30 · 19 answers · asked by wise 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thank you all....
2007-10-30 12:42:13 · update #1
You should ask him about it. Don't fight with him or anything but talk to him calmly. If he denies it to your face, show him proof on the computer. Then he can't say anything because you found it. Make sure that he don't have a profile on them site's either. Then if he does, you can show him then he'll be speechless or he'll be like my husband and continue lieing to your face.
2007-10-30 12:24:33 · answer #1 · answered by imtheonenobodylikes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you completely caught off guard when you found this information? As in thinking to yourself, this is completely out of character for him? Because I think that is a bunch of hogwash when you hear things like one answerer who said men and porn will always go hand in hand. Not in my house they won't! What a typical double standard type response, because I am quite certain that if it was ME drooling and ogling over strange men in a sexual manner, that my husband would NOT appreciate that and would probably feel insecure and inferior, the same way it affects women when their husbands do that. I had to crack up when the one answerer advised you to get a porn flick, do the lights, and then "DO" him, as this is what she did, but wait! now he doesn't LOOK AT PORN WITHOUT HER! Never mind that he STILL looks at it! If you are one of the FEW married women left who still believes that you and your husband entered into a lifetime commitment with the intention of each of you remaing faithful to ONLY eachother (especially in matters of sexual intimacy) because it IS a form of cheating, with their minds and eyes! I would actually be more concerned that he is engaging in the adult chat sites, because that is where he is making personal connections to perfect strangers and one thing could lead to another. I think you do need to bring this up with him. I think pornography has been one of the worst influences of our modern society. It degrades mostly women, but even men. Unfortunately, porn has become so normalized that many people don't even recognize how destructive (especially to a marriage) it can be. If it bothers you, I hope he corrects this problem.
2007-10-30 13:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think that watching porn is a natural thing.
HOWEVER, some people have porn addictions where it affects their daily life, their relationship, and sexual relationship with their spouse.
If everything is still the same between you and your partner, I'd just suggest bringing up the topic of porn and discussing it.
But, if your relationship has gone downhill, I'd suggest discussing porn addiction with your spouse and explain how it is a serious matter and could use therapy.
2007-10-30 12:24:18 · answer #3 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it really bothers you, just talk to him. He probably likes your sex life too, he just likes to watch porn. A lot of people do, there really is nothing wrong with it. Its not cheating or anything like that. My boyfriend and I actually watch it together and we buy it together. We love it. For some couples its just an addition to their sex lives. We don't lie to each other about it either. When one of us buys something or watches something, we tell the other. That's just how it should be, no lies. Confront him about it. If he lies to you, that's where the real problem is, not the porn.
2007-10-30 12:49:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all.. have a think about it ? why does he goes and look at to this porn sites and visit adult chat ?? if your sex life was ok ? maybe it wasn't good enough for him.. or his not that satisfy at all ? you should not ignore this kind of things because it will just make you crazy keep thinking about it and it will just get bigger and harder for you to face it in a longer terms.. why don't you try to be honest and open w/him about your feelings and what you find out.. talk to him seriously and honestly about what you thinking but don't talk to him if your angry or upset because you find out of what he was doing your not going to get any answer if one of you is like that because your not gonna understand each other.. try to calm down and understand everything that he would say to you don't just jump on quickly into a conclusion.. in my opinion its alright for a guy to look at women for as long as its just a look.. even if his married or single.. just as long as his not having an affair w/someone.. and it depends sometimes what his looking at ? it is just a sexy photo of a person that he finds in the internet ? or a person that you or your husband know ? but seriously if his really looking at the porn sites like a yucky one and visit adult chat then i think your husband had a serious problem to explain to you... but you should have known him by now.
2007-10-30 12:42:56 · answer #5 · answered by ~*poo2mcfart'y*~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't ignore it if it bothers you, or you'll make it a problem that it doesnt need to be. we are all human- and can't avoid attraction- alot of times for men- who are much more visually stimulated than women are- they will get their kicks from seeing things like that.
I'd mention that I ran into the sites he was on- tell him it wouldn't bother me if i knew about it- and tell him that the "chatting" part bothers you. I think the looking is okay- but the porn part- is not really avoidable- if you make it an issue- he'll hide it from you.
Good Luck:)
2007-10-30 12:26:28 · answer #6 · answered by **leigh** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong with him watching porn. Your husband could be realy happy with your sex lives, but men and porn will always go together. If anything let him know that you found the porn and wanna watch with him, and see where it goes from there. He'll remember why he married you all over again!
2007-10-30 12:24:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's a guy. So what? As long as he's not addicted and spending every waking hour on there. Let it ride. Maybe check it out yourself.
2007-10-30 12:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey, rent a porn from the video store, lite some candles, slip into sumthin sexy and go with it. dont discuss it with him, just do it and surprise him.......he will b so friggin turned on he wont b able to keep his hands off u. it works 4 me..... everytime and he dont usually watch porn without me anymore. good luck
2007-10-30 12:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by buzytree 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
discuss it openly with him. i think its only normal for married men to still watch it. but yeah, definitely discuss it openly with him and maybe watch it together to spice it up ;)
2007-10-30 12:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋