How do I talk to a woman who wants to confront me on my affair with her husband.?

Question

I had an affair this last summer with a married man, got pregnant and lost baby but before that i told him about the pregnancy and four weeks later lost the baby(girl) at 17 weeks. he did tell his wife now she wants to talk to me and wants to hear my side of the story. what should i do? how do i do this with out hurting her feelings which i've done so already?? help...anyone

Answer 1

"Your side of the story?" What possible difference would that make to her situation? Recognize you made a mistake and walk away having made yourself better for it.

Answer 2

This whole thing was pre-meditated. Here's what happened: He started having the affair. It started to get serious between the two of them and maybe they both thought it would work out between them. He needed an excuse (people who enter into an affair always need an excuse unless they're morally bankrupt). He knows you like to drink and that you never remember what you say and what you don't once you get drunk. So he took you to the bar and got you drunk. Now he was able to invent some kind of story about what you did and what you said. It's why he was angry no matter what you said. I'm sorry you don't want negative comments, but does this really sound like someone you would WANT to reconcile with? The fabric of love and trust that holds a marriage together has been irreparably ripped to shreds, and your ex is out of the picture (and don't let him back in!). Your children are grown, you're still young, and you have this golden opportunity to start fresh with a new life, new lifestyle, and (down the road) a better partner. I would recommend that you not get drunk anymore; it ravages your entire body, including most of the organs, and you suffer from alcoholic amnesia. If you think you have a problem with alcohol, check out AA. There are chapters all over the place with meeting times all different hours.

Answer 3

I wanted to talk to the woman who tried to take my husband from me because she knew he was married and we were still living together as man and wife. She was a co-worker and knew me so there was no excuse. You need to talk to her so she can make sense of what happened and why. Why did you let yourself get preg. by a married man,was he still living at home with her. I think you owe her that much,unless you have been cheated on yourself you have no idea of the pain and devastation It causes. Help her get some closure and let her hear what kind of man she is really married to.I hate women like you and i think you knew he was married because if you didn't no you sure would have stated that. About the baby I'm sorry that the baby lost it's life but not sorry for you. Any woman who would let herself get pregnant by a married man knowing what kind of hurt it would cause a lot of people would make a lousy mother. What goes around comes around and you got your. I hope when you marry and you think everything is great and you love your husband with all your heart he comes to you and says, i have been cheating on you and now she is pregnant and she claims the baby is mine but i no it isn't because she sleeps around.I bet that's just what he told hiswife about you.
You were woman enough to open your legs to a married man now be woman enough and open your month and talk to hiswife.
HOMEWRECKER!!!

Answer 4

I would be careful as she may go nuts and try to hurt you. Be sure that you have people around you to assure nobody gets injured. I think it is important that she knows what happens. Just be honest with her and let her know it was a mistake and it never should have happened. There is not much you can do about it now but you and her husband got you into the situation to begin with. The worst thing to do is just walk away without taking care of this problem. Good luck!

Answer 5

If you knew the man was married then you owe it to the wife to talk to her. Call her on the phone and apologize.

And I think it's a little too late for worrying about her feelings. At this point- I think you may learn something if you talk to her.

And in the future- stay away from married men. Affairs destroy families and lives plus it's bad Karma.

Answer 6

What side of what story? This is SO not your fault. He broke his word - not you. HE hurt her - NOT YOU! If you feel that this would help YOU in some way - then just be honest with her - otherwise - I think you should stay away from it. Tell her - it's over - there is nothing you have to tell her and that you would appreciate her not calling. You lost a child - you have enough pain without her dragging you through all that again. The only thing I can see that she's wanting is to help find a way that she can accept him back and save face or something. Tell her to do her own damn laundry. You are done.

Answer 7

If you knew that he was married you are such a horrible person!! Karma is a *****. I can't stand woman who have affairs with married men. There are so many single men out there go find one! Your a woman and you shouldn't do that to another woman. Do you know how horrible it feels to have you husband or boyfriend cheat on you? Hopefully you don't ever have to, because it's a horrible feeling especially if there are kids involved. Be a real woman who is worth something and don't treat yourself like trash and have affairs with married men. You should meet her and tell her why you had an affair with her husband. I don't know who you are, but I'm sure you are better than that.

Answer 8

Not sure exactly why she feels the need to talk with you...You mean nothing to her...you don't matter anymore...If she has chosen to forgive her husband then what you have to say shouldn't make any difference at all....Just politely decline...Nothing good will come of it by telling her painful things that she already knows.....Your side of the story is the same as his....You had an affair and got pregnant with his child...what more could you offer the poor woman?

Answer 9

Just talk to her and try to treat her with respect. Did you know he was married? Because if you didn't it's not your fault. Don't apologize for the affair, but do apologize for the pain it's caused. Calmly explain to her what happened and hope that she understands.
Good luck.

Answer 10

DO IT IN A PUBLIC PLACE!!!
I would not meet with her alone. Preferrably over the phone. You never know what ones true intentions are. Be safe.
What does her husband say about the meeting? I would be honest with her to all the questions, it is the least you can do. Do not cover for her husband, make up lies, or make excuses for him. He has to deal with the consequences of his actions. It is not your responsiblility to try and salvage his marriage. Tell the truth, appologize, and move on.

Answer 11

First of all, she doesn't need to talk to you and hear your side of the story because this will create more conflict for the two of you! She needs to talk to her husband because he has more explaining to do than yourself. I understand that she's hurt because her husband was disrespecting her by having an affair with you! Besides, you don't need to talk to her because you don't owe her an explanation! You need to leave him alone and move on with your life because you deserve better! You shouldn't establish a relationship with someone who is already married and won't take full responsibility for his actions! Good luck!