As for as I'm concerned the flirting that I do with my hubby's coworker (and the flirting he does with me) is completely harmless. My hubby never really said anything at first. He (on more than one occasion) handed his coworker the phone to talk to me and it was rather flirtacious. However, lately my hubby has been getting an attitude every time I am around his coworker (and it's not that often!). I "jokingly" told him that if I ever had an affair, it would be with that coworker. Could that be why my husband's attitude changed? Is flirting really not that harmless? Shouldn't he have spoken up much sooner if he thought it was a problem? I know I would have if him flirting was an issue.
2007-10-30 11:40:54 · 33 answers · asked by GreenEyes 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Maybe at first it wasn't really THAT big of a deal to your spouse. But as time progressed and as he noticed that the flirting has escaladed into something more than mere harmlessness. The off-hand and highly inappropriate comment made that IF you were to have an affair, you would
definitely be having or keeping that co-worker in mind.
The very fact that this thought was even roaming around up there somewhere inside your head was more than enough to change the entire face of the FLIRTING GAME. It indicated that you would have at least considered having an affair.
It showed intent and it showed the organization, structure and
develpoment of a plan.
Comprehend that this evaluation is based on your own words to your own husband. And that from his perspective this isn't very cute anymore.
Now you asked a very crucial question and it's really stuck out in my attention span. You asked why would he not speak up sooner? To me, this comes off as if it's too late for him to speak up now. That you have developed an attachment to this
co-worker. Why ask that question or any other question when your hubby has clearly indicated that he now stands in disapproval of these communications between you and this man?
Some jokes get taken very seriously when it appear that the jokes are only an inch away from becoming realities.
And your being a woman, should have at least noticed by now that men aren't very good with their own feelings. It's like admitting a weakness. So, in that area, men are emotionally handicapped.
Finally, I just would like to commend you on seeking assistance for this potential problem in your relationship.
Many people are too proud to ask for any type of help nowadays. And I'd like to clarify that you've done nothing wrong; but be careful..there's a very thin line between
flirting and winding up romantically involved.
You don't have to plan it that way; feelings merely develop over a period of time. It's inevitable. So, just be wary of that
phenomenon.
God bless you and your marriage. And I bid you much love, peace and happiness.
2007-10-30 12:18:25 · answer #1 · answered by sylvester m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why put your relationship through this kind of stress? If your husband has mentioned that he's uncomfortable with the way you two interact, be the responsible wife and stop flirting with him for the sake of your marriage.
And yes, by saying *IF* you had an affair it would be with that man, that's sending a strong signal to your husband that you consider the coworker sexually attractive. Put yourself in his shoes and you should clearly recognize that your innocent flirtation might be perceived as a true threat to your relationship. How would you feel if he did the same with one of your coworkers or friends?
2007-10-30 11:45:37 · answer #2 · answered by Dave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it IS harmful for all involved!
Any change in a man's attitude shows it is obvious that his Wife (and, or gf) "hints" like you did about his Co-worker! Flirting can only lead to problems, so if you don't want any, STOP there!
The thing is, overall, many guys keep their feelings to themselves when it comes to speaking up, so they show it by their actions and attitude.
If you persist in jokingly flirting with his Co-worker, your Hubby will resent you and then you will both start arguing over any little thing!
If you love your Husband, respect your marriage and don't flirt around! He is obviously serious about you or he wouldn't react by his change in attitude! Be careful.
2007-10-30 11:54:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad move. You think it's harmless but hubby doesn't. He probaly thought it would pass and when it didn't he got concerned Sometimes things can get out of hand and you don't want that. You both need to sit down and talk this over before it's to late and you end up alone and hurt.
2007-10-30 11:48:51 · answer #4 · answered by LaLa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not harmless when your husband probably sees this guy every day at work. How would it make you feel if he were doing that with a female you saw all the time? You're married, there's no need to flirt.
2007-10-30 11:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well ill tell you from my experience. I dont mind a little flirting but there comes a time when the line is drawn. Co workers and close friends are a big nono and only occasionally not all the time. Also making affair jokes thats just not funny in our eyes and it just serves to make us mad and or jealous. We have very hard instincts to fight off and something intruding on something like our wife sets them off big time.
2007-10-30 11:45:27 · answer #6 · answered by SS4 Elby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard of the saying "jokes are half meant"? I don't blame him if he feels a little iffy about your "jokingly" affair. He probably feels offended that you would openly consider another man other than himself (even though it was supposed to be a joke). Flirtation is harmless if it does not affect or hurt anyone's feelings. Talk to your husband. Give him the assurance that there'll be no one else but him. :)
2007-10-30 11:56:23 · answer #7 · answered by MeAn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He didn't see it as a problem until you "jokingly" made the affair comment. When you said that, the red flags started waving, alarm bells rang, and it was all hands on deck. If ya wanna flirt, flirt with your hubby.
2007-10-30 11:53:25 · answer #8 · answered by Psychedelic Will 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Joking around is one thing, you took it too far when you said you could have an affair with the co-worker. Now that little voice is in his head telling him that you want this other man.
You want to fix it, you never speak to this co-worker again. If he speaks to you, keep your answer short and sweet, then get away. The co-worker is now off limits to you in any way shape or form.
Oh, I mean mean off limits FOR EVER. They say women have long memories, nothing compared to what jealous husbands remember.
2007-10-30 11:48:14 · answer #9 · answered by Tara 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he picked out an attractive friend of yours - and one who you already saw he seemed to have an interest in, even if only in a flirting sense - and told you he'd pick her for an affair, how would YOU feel? That's some warped logic right there!
2007-10-30 11:44:45 · answer #10 · answered by RunRunRun 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋