he is 18, works at motel , 3 nights a week and does nothing else and i am fed up.....had a fight with my wife and she said i am out the door and i am not breaking up her family . she said that i an a drug addict (NOT TRUE) i fool around with other ladies(AGAIN NOT TRUE) ALL THIS BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO ADMIT THAT HER SON IS A BUM ..WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2007-10-30 11:12:18 · 14 answers · asked by Steven H 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
besides work three six hour shifts a week ...he does nothing and i mean nothing to help out and his mom doesn't think he should pay room and board
2007-10-30 11:43:19 · update #1
sleeps half the day away and gets up and play's his guitar (wants to be a rock star0...and he sucks at it
2007-10-30 11:45:33 · update #2
Nothing she will side with him forever even when shes bailing him outta jail it wont be his fault. I say kick them both to the curb
2007-10-30 11:19:30 · answer #1 · answered by Bow Hunter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's 18, has a job, and you're calling him a bum? How is that true? He's working 5 times harder than most teenagers his age. Is he in college? Is he in his last year of high school? These are things you need to think about. If he's in school, he doesn't have the time to be working 24/7. Also, you shouldn't put your wife in a situation where she feels like she has to choose between you or her son. A lot of people would react the same way. He's not your son, so she makes the decisions concerning him. He's not a bum when he's working at 18 years old. These are the years that most people are out partying every night. You should be thankful.
2007-10-30 18:31:41 · answer #2 · answered by Abby 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you a step-father, or this kids actual dad? Whatever the case, I feel for you.
There is always marriage counseling, but I don't think your wife would be likely to go along as she doesn't think there is a problem with her (your) son's behavior.
30 years ago you could have signed him up for the Army! I have a sign above my eldest son's door that reads "checkout time: 18 years!"
If you still love your wife, you should at least try counseling. If you aren't so sure about that, then it's time to spend your lunchbreaks at your lawyer's office.
Good luck!
2007-10-31 20:53:11 · answer #3 · answered by Sim - plicimus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run to the nearest family therapist. Difficult situation. If she doesn't want to attend, go anyway. In the long run she will go because she would be interested in what you have said. Hopefully, her son will attend in time and you would be saving a life. More marriages break up because of step-children. Good Luck, been there done that!
2007-10-30 18:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by Chipmonk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to cut your loses although you love your wife you know how mothers are with their sons. Maybe you need to try a different approach and not argue about it or maybe try leaving for a week or two and see what happens you know how people are we put things on others to justify our sad twisted things we do!
2007-10-30 18:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by Danette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's doing a lot more than a lot of kids his age...at least he does work. Your wife must have her reasons for calling you a drug addict, thats not an accusation that someone pulls out of their hat for nothing.
2007-10-30 18:16:49 · answer #6 · answered by Brittney 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell HER to get out if she can't do something about her son. If he's not a contributing member of the household, then he doesn't need to be there. If she can't see that, too bad for her.
2007-10-30 18:16:31 · answer #7 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
\leave! She believes what she wants and nothing you do or say will help besides in a little time he will be in jail and you will be happy because you have moved on good luck and I wish you love...
2007-10-30 18:23:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it is her house leave.. if it is yours .. make her leave.. if it is a rental.. make sure you can get your name off the lease and leave.. and then see what happens.. at least he does work.. my 21 yr old daughter does not.. but then again your married and i am not.. not the same thing.. when you marry you forsake all others.. and your spouse is suppose to be #1
2007-10-30 18:20:20 · answer #9 · answered by vis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you care if he's a bum...its his life,if he wants to waste it then fine,if he doesnt wanna work,again, his problem!! you shouldnt care,dont give him money or anything!!!just ignore and forget about him!! how can that hurt.
or you can leave your wife,make her chose between you and him!!
or you can beg her to get rid of him
or you can say hey...get that bum the **** outta here
2007-10-30 18:17:44 · answer #10 · answered by J D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋