how do i tell my mom i am in love with a man that is 10 years older then me.?

Question

yes im 18 and that makes him 28. the only thing is that he has a 3yr old daughter. my mom know about him but she doesnt know that we have been seeing each other every day now. we are in love!

i made him my 1st priority in my life. have been slacking in school, i dropped many friends. i feel as if this relationship has been moving fast, not only that, if im not with him, he wants to know every little thing i do and who im with. he doesnt understand that i still live at home so i have to follow the household rules.

Answer 1

My wife was 23 and I was 39 when we got married. They freak out at first, but when they saw how young and good I looked its really a small pill to swallow. It looks worse on paper than in real life when u r next to each other. Dont sweat it. As long as u 2 r happy together your parents will let that fact pass.
Too bad my wife was such a psycho and I had to cut her loose because she really was fine.

Answer 2

Well this is an interesting question because there is no easy way to do it. I mean here is the deal, I will tel you right off that I am 23 and dating a 36yr old who has two daughters 13 & 10 but I also have a son who is 4 with one on the way. So the dating an older man thing, I know exactly what you are talking about. Here is the deal though, are you an responsible 18 yr old or one who still goes to mom and dad for money to go out on Friday night? I assume you still live at home and that is fine, but are you able for the most part to take care of yourself? If so then the age difference probably wount make a huge difference. I know I had a child at 18 and I was a very mature 18 yr old so me dating a 28 yr old would have been no problem, my sister on the other hand she is 21 and even today the thought of her dating a 28yr old is crazy because she isn't that mature.

Let your mom see how he makes you feel and maybe hold off on the whole "we love each other" part for a little while just so she doesn't think you are rushing things. Your mom has probably been in love more than once in her lifetime so she knows exactly how you are feeling if you truly are in love. She may be hessitant at first but prove to her that you can handle the relationship as an adult, and don't try and say "see I told you so".

You also need to ask yourself if you are willing to love his daughter like your own. That is something that as a single parent myself is very important. No matter how much you love the person if you can not love the child as your own you do not need to be in a relationship.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you, being in love is an amazing feeling like no other. So enjoy it if that is truely what is going on here.

Answer 3

Start slowly by talking about this wonderful man you met, etc. Then one day bring him home and let him wow your mom. Don't mention the age until your mom is smitten with him and says, "yes, this man will look after my little girl". By then, age won't matter at all. btw, how old is he?
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If that's the case, then, I might wait a little while for these reasons: he's older, had a serious previous relationship, more "worldly wise", are you sure he genuinely loves you, and not just some other reason? You are still young, are there things you want to do and places you want to go and experiences you want to have? If one day you decided to get married, would you be willing to care for his daughter as your own? What would you do if you got pregnant? Do you know what his reaction would be? Have you seen him in all situations, or just on romantic dates? So, just make sure you've thought of all avenues, and that it is not just infatuation (no, I don't mean an 18 year old can't really be in love).

Answer 4

She is your mother, and as much as she may not like some of the choices that you make, she will always be your mother and I assure you she will love you no matter what.

Explain to her that you finally found a man that makes you happy in everyway and that you are in love. She will be estatic for you, but maybe a little bit optomistic since you are still only 18. Then she'll start asking you questions and all that jazz, and when she asks who the lucky man is, just tell her. And if she gets upset, say mom I am 18 and I know what I'm doing and I appreciate your opinion and want you to be happy for us, but if thats not possible then I'm still going to be with him.

Answer 5

your mother needs to realize you are now a grown woman. it is your decision as to who you want to bewith after all you are of age. I know where you are coming from I was 18 and he was 28 and yes he had a little girl who was 2. we are married and have 2 wonderful girls so it can work if you want it to.(who know they have a big sister and has everything to do with her) but you have to show maturity and not be childish when his child has to be the priority (this is a must) but also let lt him know you arent going to be steam rolled over by a 3 yr old. (i stood firm on this)
as for telling your mom, she probably knows what you need to confirm. (it is probably the guessing who you've been seeing) my mom knew!

Answer 6

As cliched of an answer this may sound...just be honest! Sure its not the easiest of ways but its the only way to go about it without making it worst. If you're under the age of 18 then you honestly shouldn't be having relations with somebody 10 years older then you. Regardless though, be honest!

Answer 7

write her this letter:

Letter From Daughter Dear Mom and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in
writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having
written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on,
please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING
DOWN. OKAY!

Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the
concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it
caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only get
those sick headaches once a day.


Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an
attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called
the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital
and since I had nowhere to live, because of the burned out dormitory, he was
kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a
basement room, but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have
fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the
exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward
to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the
love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason
for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection
which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests and I carelessly
caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I
am taking daily.

I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and
although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different
race and religion than ours, I know your often expressed tolerance will not
permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker
than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is
good too, for I am told that his father is an important gun-bearer in the
village in Africa from which he came.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no
dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not
in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I do not have syphilis
and there is no man (of any color) in my life. However, I am in love with a man 10 years older.

Yours-
Your Loving Daughter

(of course edit to your lifestyle)

Answer 8

After you break the news, tell her why you are in love with a man that is 10 years older than you. She may or may not understand, but it is up to you to decide what you want.

Answer 9

If you are 18 or older you just tell her. If you are younger than 18 then I suggest you back off till you are 18 since your parents could cause your new love all kinds of legal problems.

Good Luck

Answer 10

You are 18... You are free to pursue whatever relationship you choose. Just tell your mom more and more about the guy, and she'll get used to the thought that he's around. Act like an adult, and you will be treated like one.