Im an eighteen year old girl in my second year in college and am very worried as im a loner and am shy?

Question

im just really worried,im always lost in my mind and i dont speak up in lectures or tutorials or to my lecturers themselves!i feel so nervous trying to make friends and thinking of joining clubs as i think people will view me solely as a weird loner!!and reject me,im a nice person when people give me a chance,what will i do?it gets me down quite a bit and i cant be a dynamic active person when i wake up in the morning,as when i have to speak to others im either shut off from them or i come across as slow as im not practical,im abstract and find it difficult to be practical about things,what am i gonna do?i really need help,i dont want to be a weird loner,do you guys view girls like me as such?

Answer 1

Your not weird and that’s a fact. So you view the world differently, there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone one of us is unique, different and special and you are no exception.

From what I can understand what you want to become is a little more extroverted, that’s not an easy thing to achieve as it sounds as though your nature is very much introverted. The best way to achieve what you want is in small steps, take things a little easier and don’t be so hard on yourself. Get comfortable with those around you and slowly you will find that you are no different from any of them.

As for how I would view you, that all depends if I got to you know you. I’m sure that once I knew you I would like you the way that you are.

Good luck in your self discovery and if you want a friend to chat to don’t hesitate to contact me.

Answer 2

Well start off by hanging out with people that you already know to some degree and work from there. The people who care about you and know you best will likely take the time to help you find someone to talk to at the very least. As a guy I have to tell you that guys like girls that can come on strong when they need to and sometimes even make the first move or else we lose interest because it seems that you have no interest in us! Feel free to risk embarrassment because at the end of the day you know that at the very least you tried.

Answer 3

usually the weird lonelr stereotype is reserved for guys who are socially awkward. Relax. If you are 18 and a sophomre then you are young for your class, as I was, and ahead for your age. College can be experienced in two ways: 1) a learning environment or 2) a partying waste of time and money. Popularity often means socializing too much when you should be studying and then making mistakes with your life which is the type of learning experinec you should avoid. There is no rule that says you have to speak out and can't just sit back and listen and observe. If you have a question in your mind then ask it but don't fret that your not vocally standing out because some people just like to hear themselves talk and want to be the center of attention. Also be wary of guys who become too friendly too fast.

Answer 4

Hi there!
You sound fine, there's nothing weird about being a loner! There's lots of them everywhere! Try saying the odd 'hello' to a few of them every time you see them, preferably people not already wandering around in a group,that in itself will make you feel better...if you smile people will smile back! If you stop being so downhearted for a minute and think just how few of the class actually do speak up in tutorials etc. you'll see it's not just you eh? Please don't waste your time being depressed about others....you are who you are and someone will see you as such and love you for it and then you will look back on this episode and wonder what you were thinking! :-)
Things could be so much worse....enjoy life while you can!
Sending you lots of hugs....cheer up!

Answer 5

Hey, it's ok. I'm a little bit like that too, except that the reason I'm that way it's because I can't express myself pretty well. There's nothing weird about you at all. Don't be afraid about how people will look at you. Join a club and try to speak up. Not everyone is rejecting you, only you are rejecting yourself.

Answer 6

Everyones different! People build univeristy life up to be one great big long party, the truth is its not, some people are nateraly quieter than others its nothing to be ashamed or embaressed about. Just try and smile more and laugh at peoples jokes, people will endear to you even if your not outgoing or witty as long as your a nice person people will want you around. Smiling instead of looking at the ground the whole time makes you alot more approachable and people are more likely to respond positively to you.

My oral presentation lecturer always says "If you cant BE confident, pretend to be" good advice I find.

Answer 7

It's college. Everybody's doing their own thing and on their own schedule. It's not a big deal if you don't talk that much. I doubt very much anyone views you as a weird loner, just because of that. Just join a club like you said, or get a job or volunteer somewhere where you have to talk to other people, then it gets easy and friendships develop naturally.

Answer 8

Well, I think the easiest way to help you would be to say; Smile.

You say youre friendly and such so, when you next see someone in class you'd like to get to know smile and make eye contact. Act Nonshlant. Keep smiling. Make eye contact, smile, act distracted for a moment before smiling again and looking away. If they smile back without looking strained and anxious it means they didnt mind meeting you for that breif moment, maybe you should 'talk' again some time

Answer 9

OK sweetie, let's get you out of this shell!!! First off, don't be down on yourself like this. Its very evident to the people who are around you and honestly, no one wants to be around someone who doesn't even seem like they like themselves.
Next you need to be comfortable being you. People are always different, that's just a factor of life, so I say be different but be true to who you are. Then I need to address your personal appearance. Hopefully you're into taking very frequent showers, wearing perfume, and dressing nice. Now I'm not saying that you need to be a super model, but at least look presentable. Scruffy and drab women are a let down, and as a woman you have to at least carry yourself as a woman would. Once you accomplish these things, then I say its time to join some organizations, start going to parties, and for God's sake sweetie, let people know who you are. In class you owe it to yourself to speak out, when people try to talk to you, talk back. Who gives a damn what they think of you, but at least give them the opportunity to know you. I hope all works out sweetie, and if you want you can e-mail me. I'd love to help some more if I can.

Answer 10

Yeah, ok. You need to figure out what you enjoy doing. Then join a club on campus that does those things. It's ok to be quiet. Eventually someone will reach out to you. It can't hurt to visit with a shrink. They generally just want to help and keep everything you talk about in confidence. So don't hesitate to talk to them. There are also generally hotlines you can call at the school if you just want someone to talk to. They have no way of knowing who you are and will just listen, or talk, or both.