i cant accept my father died.?

Question

i dont want to accept this as i believe it is wrong he died. people say this is life, but i hate this life - i dont know how people can accept such unfair life cycles. i may be unhappy the whole life now, but i am not gonna accept wrong things

Answer 1

you dont have to accept it. Lets face it- life will never be the same, you will never get over the death of your father.

The goal of grief is to be able to keep the memory of the deceased person alive inside you- but you continue to live your life. I know this sounds hard. It is very hard to look at the future and think anything positive right now- allow yourself to grieve. It is ok to cry, to scream, to "let it out". Write your father notes- tell him all about what has happened since he has gone.

I dont know the circumstances around his death- but I promise you, there is support for you out there. I am a funeral director and I know most funeral homes have books and names of groups, preachers and others you could talk to if you feel you wanted to.

There is no "time's up" for your pain. You will have it with you always.. as time goes on, the pain will not subside but you can find a way to live with it; to be happy with other things in life again.

My advice is to reach out to your personal support- be family, friends, ect.. they may not always have the right things to say, but their presence can help you from getting lost in your grief.

I am very sorry to hear of your situation, I wish you strength through this most difficult time.

Answer 2

Life is full of unexplainable events and things like this we are never prepared to handle. The best thing for you to do is spend time with family and remember the good times you had with your dad. There's going to be times when you'll just break down but you have to remember to stay strong and life will go on...keep your dad in your heart and thoughts. Give yourself time to accept that he's no longer around...it may take years...there's no time length on when you should stop grieving...you'll grieve the rest of your life...talk your feelings out with family members or close friends if it makes you feel better. If you have a religion, find strength in your religion to comfort you. Hope this helps...sorry about your loss.

Answer 3

My mother died when I was two. Only God knows why, but I have learned over the years is that they had fulfilled their purpose here and they have moved on to the next one. My mother was a teacher, maybe she is teaching in Heaven I don't know but I do know that life Is supposed to go on. One generation grows up while another dies. Thats they way its been for thousands of years and thats the way it is supposed to be, No child is ready to see their parents die, but I am sure your dad would want you to be a man and move on, because eventually you will be at this point and your children will have to face it. How would you want them to react. Would you want them to just stop living or would you want them to move on with there lives. I am sorry for your loss, I've been there, now move on and rejoice in the good memories you had and don't dwell on the bad. You will overcome this, and the memories will last a life time.

Answer 4

My father died when I was 5, so I empathize. However, death is a part of life. It is something that is beyond our control. As much as it hurts and as cruel as it feels to have someone we loved and depended upon taken from us, it is reality. Unfortunately, in order to be whole, mentally healthy and live a full life, it's important to accept reality for what it is.

I don't know what caused your father's death. In my father's case he had a hiatal hernia that was so large it allowed his stomach to crowd his chest cavity and put pressure on his heart. That in turn caused a blood clot in his lung. At the time (1965) the doctors tried an experimental drug. They told my mother that it would either dissolve the blood clot (what they hoped) or move it into his heart (what it did). Their biggest fear was that it would either kill my father or make him a vegetable for life.

Which is more unfair - living life as a vegetable unable to move, speak, eat and kept on life support (probably in pain but unable to communicate it) or slipping away in death and ending his suffering? Personally, I felt and still feel it would have been far more unfair to my father if he had become a vegetable on life support for God knows how many years. I think it was a relief to all that he died with minimal pain.

Do I wish he hadn't died at all? Very much so. Do I feel it was unfair I didn't have my father for most of my life? Yes, and no. I realize that a lot of things I was able to accomplish were made possible by my step-father that my father couldn't have made possible for me. But I miss having had my real father to love and guide me.

Talk to someone who has a background in grief counseling. Feeling angry at the unfairness of your father's death is normal. However, it would be tragic for you if you could never move past that place and find peace. It is possible to do that. I'm living proof.

Answer 5

This is part of life... it's like when a branch of a tree falls off into the ground, everything around it has to change it's ways in life. It's just like when your father dies, everybody around him has to change their life without him.

Answer 6

Regardless of whether it was right or wrong for him to die, he did die. You don't have to believe that it was right or okay for him to die to accept the fact of his death. You will always miss him, and you need to grieve for him. It took me over two years to come to terms with my best friend's death after her husband murdered her. It wasn't right for her to die either, but that didn't make her any less dead. Instead of focusing on what's right or wrong, focus on your feelings. You've lost someone you love. You miss him. You will always miss him. But how would he want you to spend the rest of your life? Miserable? I doubt it. Make your life a tribute to your love for him.

Answer 7

i'm sorry your father. no matter how you feel about it is not going to change that fact. remember all the good times and look toward your future. it is life. people live and they die.