I have two kids and they weigh me down, they are 3 and 7 years old. I would like to have an affair. Am I doing the right thing. Please...my body is urging me tosay yes but I know it's wrong. Please help.
2007-10-30 07:50:48 · 70 answers · asked by SPMZ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO! Don't do it--you WILL forever regret it if you do! This doesn't seem like the picture of "Happily Married" to me? Obviously you feel disconnected from your Hubby--get a babysitter and re-ignite the flame you had for him..I'm sure it's still there! Think of all the reasons you fell in love with him--are you willing to throw all that away for one night of pleasure? You have to work on any successful relationship... remember that anything worth having **never** comes easily. Communicate with the man you took vows with (before God mind you)... you'll be amazed what good it will do. Think of your babies too--a broken home is very hard on children--respect them, your Hubby & most of all yourself. Be a lady and a role model, show you have class.
2007-10-30 07:52:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 1⤋
Hello did you say you where happily married? If so why do you want to have an affair. It seems to me that you feel like your kids are the reason for the affair, what does them weighing you down have to do with an affair . You must already have someone in mind are they weighing you down because you can't see your lover. If your not happy don't use your kids. You need to be talking to your husband. No you are not happily married, If you want to have an affair. So with that said there are problems at home that an outsider won't fix or cure but will only cause more problems that you are know running from. An affair is not gonna solve anything or help you feel better . Once you start cheating your gonna get the guilt's because you have a great husband at home you know this, so the guilt will set in with a whole new feeling of guilt. Is it worth all of that , just have that talk that has been needed for a long time. Go ahead give it a try you just never know (remember ladies men are not mind readers we have to tell them when something is not right with us or if something is going on it needs to be brought to there attention )
2007-10-30 08:05:38 · answer #2 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your not happy in your marriage. But by the sounds of it you want to say together for the kids and have an affair to try to make your self happy?
My parents stayed together for a extra 10 years because of me, (bad move ) They fought all the time, making me upset and I new deep down the only reason they where together was because of me which made me feel like crap.
If you and your husband cant get the spark back than I think you should leave. Having an affair will actually make things worse.
But I agree you seem to want one so this means you need a change and some happiness in your life.
If you two split, he will have the kids during certain times which will give you the freedom you want for your self and also time to find a man that can make you feel like a woman again.
Some times a split will actually bring you and your husband back to reality and the spark may start again.
The split will be good for your kids because they will not be a bothersome but a joy to have when it your time to have them.
Enjoy life, you only have one, don't waist another minute, but never hurt someone (cheating) to feel good, in the end you wont.
If you need to talk email me.
2007-10-30 08:16:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 10 & 6 year old who do exactly the same and I have often been tempted by the escapism of having an affair, but have luckily woken up to the fact that I've got far too much to loose if I did.
Ask yourself "if I had an affair and got caught, could I happily live the rest of my life without my husband? And as a single mum could I cope with my demanding kids on my own?" If the answer is no to either of these two questions, then you know what to do.
2007-10-30 08:06:36 · answer #4 · answered by Chucksey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question, you know it is wrong.
How can you look at your children, even if they are a handful and at times more than you can bear, and even think of having an affair. Especially justifying it by using the excuse about your children.
You say that you are happily married, then focus on that. Look at those children and remember the passion and love that brought them to you. Talk to you husband and explain how overwhelmed you are feeling with the children and maybe you can come to some kind of agreement that might help. Maybe daycare a couple of days a week so you can have some private time, or better, some personal private time with your loving husband.
Don't have an affair, it would be the first step toward ending that happy marriage.
Good Luck
2007-10-30 07:57:32 · answer #5 · answered by mn lady 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please....... please, please.... That is the last thing that you ever want to .. Not only (when you get caught and you Will my dear you will) will you ruin your marriage... You will mess two kids lives up and you will probably have this affair with a married man.. STD's you surely will be worried about this right? Now you say you will make him wear a rubber... How many men want to get it on with a rubber? Maybe for a while but not for long and guess what condoms will not prevent STD's.. Is it worth it? I don't think so.... Is it the sex you are not getting or missing or just the touchy feely stuff and the climaxing? You know a good play toy is some magical. I don't know of what more I can say.. No just one more thing... How can you be happily married and want to do this? If the kids weigh you down do much how about some alone time with dad to spice up the marriage... Please.. Think before you act... You can write me at spoonytheclown2@yahoo.com and we can really talk about this one on one with out the world reading... I wish you good luck. Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-10-30 12:04:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you would consider the idea of an affair as an attractive option suggests there are other problems going on in your marriage. An affair is neither the answer or a solution. You ahve two children who are weighing you down. Could you perhaps have someone care for them sometimes in a week and allow you to pursue an interest such as a hobby or sport to bring cariety into your life. Also could this even be extended and allow you to spend time with your husband......to talk....to laugh....and whop knows what else.
The desire for an affair is symtomatic.......treat the symptoms. Think what you would stand to loose and with honesty.
2007-10-30 08:28:44 · answer #7 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You definately need some immediate help to save your marraige. Your body is urging you?? No, YOU are urging you.
So you are choosing to do something you already know is wrong. ? Hmm. It's not only going to negatively affect you, it will affect you, your husband, your marriage, your family, your 3 and 7 year old children for the rest of their natural lives. And all because you have an urge.
First of all, the immaturity in all this is amazing. Throwing away a family for some instant gratification is amazing.
Perhaps you should refocus and unload what you are going through with the only one you should be unloading to. And add to that some very deep counseling. Perhaps then, and only then, can your marraige get to a place it was meant to be.
2007-10-30 08:03:03 · answer #8 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having an affair isn't the right thing to do and you know that otherwise you wouldn't have posted this question on here.
I know how you feel about the kids weighing you down,when they are young it's hard work. Have you had a chat with your hubby about how you feel?Ask him for a bit more support,sounds like you could do with a bit of 'me' time.
Do you & your hubby go out much together alone? If not then you could try going out a bit & having some quality time together.
I'm sure that you'll work things out - but a 3rd party isn't the answer 'cause you're still going to have your kids to deal with.
2007-10-30 08:00:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to ask yourself WHY ... what is making you feel neglected and how you could work on making it better ... talk to your hubby ... he might be feeling the same way ... if you were unhappyily married then I would say go for it ...but if you love him dont risk losing him. Hire a sitter and go make out in the back of the car! Go on a date ... try something different like roll playing.
Once you cheat you can never go back whats done is done you cant erase it ... don't forget you're not only playing with fire with your life your playing fire with your kids life!
Something I notice is that you say your KIDS weigh you down ...not your husband ... are you a stay at home mom? perhaps it's time to go back to work ...or get your husband to watch the kids as you go out with your girlfriends....
I wish you luck in what ever you choose... and I hope this helps!
2007-10-30 08:04:53 · answer #10 · answered by kellysquestforthecure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said happily married? If you were happily married you would not consider this. Find a counselor quick. You will destroy your marriage and do great harm to your children. There is something you are missing in your life and the affair is just a band-aid. Find out the root and deal with it. Take it from someone who has been cheated on. There is NO pain like the pain of adultery. Talk to someone you trust quick before you do irreparable damage to yourself and your family.
2007-10-30 07:57:43 · answer #11 · answered by pkgfinder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋