i told my finance that i was taking birth control but i wasn't. he told me that he was not ready to have any children but i wanted another child because i already have a boy. now fter i have had my baby i feel distance from my finance. what should i do?
2007-10-30 06:54:03 · 26 answers · asked by Nikki 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You should never lie and trick him into having a baby. It was wrong and I hope you know that. He IS going to hold this against you for a long time. ANd the only thing you can do is try to earn his trust back. He may trust you again or he may not. But you should of been mature enough to know better than to trick someone into having a baby.
2007-10-30 07:07:56 · answer #1 · answered by Christen T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to sound really mean but it might take a while to feel close to each other again. Look at it from his view, he trusted you that you were on birth control to keep from getting pregnant and you lied to him that is a huge betrayal. If it were you how would you feel if you told him that you didn't want children and he said okay I'll wear a condom but never did and you got pregnant wouldn't you resent him for that. to be honest the two of you might never be close again, a feeling of lost trust and betrayal are usually a good sign that your relationship might be on the rocks. All you can do is hope and pray that it will be all right and sit down and explain to him why you intentionaly got pregnant after he told you that he wasn't ready for a child in your relationship
Good luck and I hope it works out for you both in the end
2007-10-30 14:02:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's see, for starters, you should tell him the truth, that you lied to him. It's really not hard to understand why he would feel distant from you - he told you he wasn't ready to have children, yet you blew off his desires and went with only what you wanted. Juvenile and not very loving.
Are you sure you are ready to commit yourself to a man? Do you know what it means to love someone? It means that you put their needs above your own, not the other way around. Doesn't really sound like you are mature enough to get married. Too bad you brought an innocent child into this mess.
2007-10-30 14:06:19 · answer #3 · answered by sunybuni 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be honest with your fiance. If this is the man you are going to marry, lying to him is the worst way to start off a relationship. If you wanted more children, you should've waited until he was at least somewhat ready instead of tricking him into getting you pregnant. He might feel a loss of trust in you, but at least you were honest. Maybe he knows you lied and that's why he's being distant.
2007-10-30 13:59:32 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel G 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get counseling. If he knows that you were lying about the birth control, i'm sure he is distant because he doesn't trust you and you went against his wishes to have another child. Talk to a counselor, doctor or pastor to try and get your relationship back together.
You have to be a good person to get goodness to come back to you. If you continue to lie to him and be deceitful, he will never be able to trust you and you will not have a happy relationship.
2007-10-30 13:59:15 · answer #5 · answered by Malina 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
U feel distance from ur Finance? distance from your money?
if you mean your FIANCE, your lucky he doesnt leave your lyin behind, you betrayed his trust. Now hes forced to take on a responsibility he's probably not ready for.
2007-10-30 14:06:19 · answer #6 · answered by Not here 2 make friends 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt have lied to him about something so important first off, i dont blame him for being distant, if i were a man and my other half( especially someone i hadnt even married and really started a life with yet) did that to me they would no longer be my "other half" if you know what i mean. and in a case like this he shouldnt be forced to support the baby either.
2007-10-30 13:59:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You made it pretty clear to him that you'll do whatever it takes to get what you want, no wonder he's distant - I'm surprised he's not gone. You lied to him, tricked him, betrayed him - what a lovely way to start a life together.
2007-10-30 14:03:15 · answer #8 · answered by woodlands127 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should have been honest with him in the first place. What you did is very dishonest, and if I were him, I would not marry a woman who lies about such important things.
You reap what you sow.
2007-10-30 14:00:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You got to give him time I know sometimes we know when we are ready to have a child but unfortunately it has to be when the couple is ready.
2007-10-30 14:05:08 · answer #10 · answered by krixty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋