i know it's a long poem
I'm sitting under a tree
with no one to bother me
i have a book in my left hand
an a apple in my right
while chewing on my apple
on ther other side i spotted a bite
mysteriously i inspect it
yet don't know how it came to be
until i spotted a couple of eyes
from up in the tree
staring back at me
its eyes were very strange
yet as it came into the light
it stud on two feet
an came into my sight
yet as i started to inspect
i found it strange
i wanted to know
why a monkey had bitten my apple
and from where it came?
so as i started to laugh
the monkey got mad
and started to scream
bananas flew everywhere
but missed there target
which was me?
so as the monkey got close
i ran away
but slipped on a banana peal
while the monkey laugh away
then i heard a noise
that sounded strange
it was my mom screaming
wake up!
the zoo is going to close
you're going to make us late!
2007-10-30 06:41:03 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
no its not really funny
btut its a good poem.
2007-10-30 06:48:53 · answer #1 · answered by aeropostale_cutie1990 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute, but I think it needs a re-write to conform to a particular meter. Some of the lines are different than the others.
2007-10-30 06:48:59 · answer #2 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a good idea but you lack a rhyming pattern...and when you are rhyming poems that's very importand, or else the reader has a hard time reading it.
2007-10-30 06:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by sarasarasara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
near the end it started to lose it's rhythm
2007-10-30 06:53:23 · answer #4 · answered by Matt H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Its funny but more sweet and innocent .If you wrote this,
you should consider story writing .
Rgds.................
2007-10-30 06:51:55 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋