Why or how does one cheat on their spouse with someone else for so many years?

Answer 1

It's called comparmentalizing. (Serial killers have been known to act like this).

When they are with their wives or doing their daily duties, they aren't thinking of their lover. Then they leave for work and start making plans to set forth their other life with the other woman.

When they tell you nothing is going on, they are talking to you and are in their other life with you so in a way, they are being honest but dig deeper and they are finally able to tell you the truth because you've brought it to their attention and they say,"oh, um, you mean that."

There are times when they feel guilty but then they see you or the other woman and feel relieved. The other life just fades away. You really can love two people at the same time. It doesn't make it right.

Answer 2

The why has many answers. They are not getting what they need at home. That doesn't mean that it has anything to do with the spouse. Sometimes people need things that the one they are with can't give them. You can tell someone straight to their face that you are not happy and why and that still doesn't mean they are going to do what you need to make you feel better. Usually the other is blind to the fact that there is a problem at all. Sometimes someone cheats just because. It could be that that is just who they are. Some people cheat because of a mental disorder. Some cheat because they are being abused and the only retaliation they have is cheating.

It would be fairly easy to get away with cheating on your spouse if you did it right. I won't get into details on how to get away with it because I don't agree with it at all. My first husband was a cheating SOB and he got away with it for awhile before I realized what was going on. I know all the signs now. :) I learned the hard way that life isn't always peaches and cream. You don't ever truly know someone. We all have secrets and closets full of skeletons. Just some have closets that the skeletons tend to knock open the door and scream at you. If you can manage to ignore your conscience while you are pulling this on someone then all I can say is wow. Or maybe some don't have a conscience at all and it doesn't affect them at all. I am sure there are a ton of cheaters out there who just don't care. Some I think want to be caught, maybe to get the attention of the spouse. Who really knows what goes on in someones head.....

Answer 3

People do it for a lot of reasons. Irregardless it is wrong. I guess it has to do with being selfish and irresponsible. Sometimes, people let other things come into the picture of the marriage and before they know it, they have lost control. It is the thrill of adventure for some, for some it is being able to who they really are, sometimes, because that spouse will not accept nor be will to accept them as such nor take that time out. Sometimes, it because they realize they made a mistake and their heart maybe with the other person even though they love their spouse they just are not, nor willing to be committed to that spouse. Sometimes, it's lust seeing something else they can't or shouldn't have makes them sometimes want it more. Having gone through both its not worth it.

Answer 4

I wish I knew. I have never understood cheaters. They always seem to want something other then what they have, so perhaps it’s just the grass is greener on the other side. I do know it bring a ton of chaos to the lives involved. I have had friends that cheated on their spouse and then married the person that they were cheating with and then wonder how come their new spouse is cheating on them. Some people just don’t get it. Cheating is like a disease. Once you catch it then it is going to be hard to get rid of.

Answer 5

Apparently, this person is getting away with it, and has no conscience about it. Either the spouse is unaware of the situation, or just chooses to put up with it. Maybe he or she is doing the same thing. Who knows? But whatever the reason, the marriage is a mockery, and I feel sorry for any children that are the result of it. They are the true victims of infidelity, and will grow up thinking it's okay to be married and fool around. Those parents are setting a very bad example; both the unfaithful one, and the one who knows about it and permits it. It's hard to believe that the one who is being betrayed is totally in the dark.

Answer 6

There are about 100 reasons for that. Ranging from boredom, mid-life crisis, feeling inadequate, etc.

How.....well you can come up with thousands of excuses to be away from someone. And if the other person really loves you and trusts you......they're willing to believe any excuse you give them.

Not sure about your specific situation. But if someone cheated on you, it doesn't necessarily mean that the person doesn't want to be with you. You have to have a long talk with them and find out the whole story. Then determine if it's forgivable or unforgivable.

Answer 7

If it has gone on for years, the spouse that was being cheated on must have had complete trust. Maybe the couple had such different work schedules that it made it easy for one to cheat and the other one not to know.

Answer 8

I can tell you exactly why they do it. I was married to my husband for six years. Before we got married, he was adventurous and we had so much fun. But shortly after marriage, he became a total homebody and lost interest in going out and doing things. And he never wanted to have sex. After a few years of reading books and searching for answers on-line, I decided we should go to marriage counseling. He didn't like the idea and we didn't go. I told him that if we couldn't work through this, I wanted a divorce. Things got better for a while but then he slipped back into the same old behavior. I loved him but I had needs. So I hooked up with a guy I knew from work. The relationship lasted about a year and it was absolutely exhilarating. To this day, I can still smell his cologne and on a cold night I can still feel him next to me (we had our best times in the winter time). My husband never knew about it. But to be honest, I didn't want it to end and I would have kept it going if my guilt hadn't stood in my way. God I miss him...

Answer 9

WHY
THE THRILL of a new romance reliving simpler single days.
Sometimes for intimacy that may be lacking in a relationship.
WOMEN try to recapture the romance that is lacking their lives or feel unappreciated and the attention of a stranger has a magical effect on them.
Men are either looking for lost youth reassurance of their manhood or again looking for intimacy.
HOW?
Very carefully if you want to stay in the relationship and only want a no strings fling. Best bet is an out of town trip on your own.

Answer 10

What a waste of time for both people. The husband/wife has to know thier significant other is cheating and lived in denile for so many years. The husband/wife who cheated had to feel the guilt for so many years as well. How hurtful and how disrepectful.