ok so here it is, We have been together for 3 months (we are moving fast) we both love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together, I want to set a date and everytime that it gets brought up he says he does not want to talk about it, he always wants to talk about everything but not that one subject. Am I wrong for wanting to have the date picked out?
2007-10-30 06:20:13 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you talking about setting a date for a wedding? He doesn't want to talk about it means he isn't ready to commit yet. Sounds like YOU are the one moving too fast. If you're not careful, you're going to scare him right out of your life.
By the way, as long as you're having sex with this (presumably teenage) guy, of course he'll tell you that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you--and virtually anything else you want to hear. . . Are you really that naive?
2007-10-30 06:23:48 · answer #1 · answered by DJ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you engaged? If not then what's the rush. 3 months is really no time. Secondly, if you are engaged then give it some time I mean it has only been 3months. You need to back off just a little. Why marry so fast? get to know this guy. Already, he is showing you the type of person he is, he's showing you that at a more serious level of the relationship he needs time. Give that to him. Who knows you may find out more about him and yourself. You will always have time for marriage. Focus maybe on yourself more and things you would like to achieve. Not to mention for the moment you are happy what about 33 months from now.
2007-10-30 06:27:17 · answer #2 · answered by K M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're going to be together for the rest of your lives you can get married on your first year anniversary. Tell your mate that this is when you want to set a date and ask him what he thinks about that. If he says no to this, you will have to discover what his intentions really are. Maybe you are just worried that if you don't hook him now, he will get away.
2007-10-30 06:25:51 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three months is nothing when getting to know a person. Unless you want to be in divorce court within the year, I'd wait and see what my potential mate is really like before marrying. I personally would NOT entertain the idea of marriage until I've dated a girl for at least 2 years.
2007-10-30 06:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by WC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am like you - a big PLANNER. Your friend sounds like he is NOT a planner.
It sounds like you need to meet in the middle. Is he even interested in getting married? Or are you just assuming?
He is probably thinking - if he sets a date - it's a done deal. You may want to back off a little - and give him some time to think. However, do let him know how you feel. Once..... and then see where it goes from there!!
2007-10-30 06:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by TUNA_BURGER 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After three months you want to set a date? Are you bonkers?
In three months you barely know someone! I've been married to my husband for 8 years today (Happy Anniversary to me!) and I am still learning things about him. After three months of dating we were still in the "new love" stage - we believed we were going to be together forever, but realized that we in order for that to work we needed to truly know one another. We were together a year before we got engaged and another year before we married.
Slooooooooooooooooow down - take time to get to know each other. If it's meant to be forever then you can take time before worrying about setting a date.
2007-10-30 06:31:21 · answer #6 · answered by Susie D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak with him frankly and see where his head is at this time. It is entirely possible that he loves you but is still not ready for the final leap...Many couples stay together for years (unmarried) and the minute they add the rings and marry things change. Be fair to him and ask him what he thinks would work for the both of you...If you are still in "dating" mode and he hasn't proposed yet, then you may be scaring him away with all the urgency...
2007-10-30 06:27:13 · answer #7 · answered by DivahD 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wht's the hurry? you CAN spend the rest of your lives together and NOT be married. Just keep on keepin on and when HE's ready, he'll let you know.
You may be ready for the date, but he may not be. Doesn't mean he loves you any less. But in this day in age, we all have to make sure so we don't become a statistic.
2007-10-30 06:23:46 · answer #8 · answered by Sean C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you're jumping the gun after only 3 months by wanting to set a date. SLOW DOWN...if this relationship is really a good one, then taking some time to let it grow naturally and getting to know one another really well, won't change that...
What's your hurry? The quicker you move, the higher your chance of becoming just another divorce statistic.
2007-10-30 06:23:17 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he really wants to spend the rest of his life with you, then he would set a date. Have you ever heard the expression, "why buy the cow if the milk is free." Tell him " no date, no milk" see how he likes that.
2007-10-30 06:29:07 · answer #10 · answered by osok48 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋