I am 16 yrs old due 2 be 17 next month on the 23rd. And i really want a baby i think it because i want a real family. Dont get me wrong i have a family but i want one of my own something i created and i am determened to have a baby no matter wat it takes.
2007-10-30 06:12:10 · 31 answers · asked by Ms.Freaky 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You don't need a baby at 16 or 17. I know you don't want to hear this, but you are way too young! Teenage pregnancy is never an ideal situation for anyone. You are obviously lacking something else in your life that makes you crave a baby. It's normal to want to have children someday, but please reconsider having a baby now. Babies are so much work...you have no idea! And it's not like you can change your mind once you have him/her. This is a life-long responsibility. Enjoy your own youth! You have years to worry about having a baby.
2007-10-30 06:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
when i was 16 i felt that i wanted a baby too. I wasn't going out of my way to have a baby but i also was not being overly careful to not get pregnant. I was with a jerk but didn't care because i knew that i could take care of a baby. I am now 24 and have 2 children and 1 on the way. I still think i would have been able to take care of a baby at 16 but would have had such a hard time finishing school and I probably wouldn't have gone to college and got my degree. I had my first baby when i was 22 and at times it was very hard then. The problem is not taking care of the baby or loving it. The problem is that if the baby doesn't sleep at night, neither do you. If you don't have a father that will stick by your side you will also have nobody to help you take care of this baby. You will have to come up with the money for formula and food. Food is not coved by WIC. You will also have to buy diapers and clothes, also not covered by state programs. You will not be able to go out and party with your friends because you would have to pay for a babysitter and they don't usually watch babies late at night. You will not have any freedom at all. Think about these things and then figure out whether or not you want that baby even if you could love it. There is a lot more to a baby than making a family.
2007-10-30 06:26:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Right now you have an urge and a longing to take care of something, to feel important to someone else. These feelings are perfectly normal for women. The answer is not to have a baby yet. There is so much to think about when you want to have a baby. Sit down and make a list of all the things it takes to be a GOOD mom, not just love and affection but to really be a GOOD mom. If those things are not in place then it's not time. A couple of things that you really need to think about:
1. Are you REALLY ready to stop being a teenager? When you become a mom, it's no longer ok to go out and party with friends every weekend and leave the baby with grandma while you're getting wasted. no more doing after school activities, becuase you have to get home and be mommy.
2. Do you have insurance? can you afford to pay even for the Dr.'s appointments? can you pay for the hospital stay when you have the baby? Can you pay the baby's insurance? Can you pay the Dr. when the baby gets sick, or needs a check up? What about formula and diapers? they add up very quickly! Daycare? it costs upwards of $1000 a month for infant daycare and doesn't go down much after that. clothes, toys,medicine...the list goes on. Being on welfare is not a solution, is that really the life you want that baby to lead?
And that's just the tip of the ice berg for questions you need to ask yourself.
Are you in a committed relationship with someone who is ready to be a father and help you take care of this little one? It's so dificult to be a single parent now adays....it's 100 times harder if you're a single teen parent.
I know you feel lonely and ready but don't be selfish, this isn't about you, about the baby. CAN you give the baby the life it deserves and needs?
There are other ways for you to satisfy this urge. babysit a friend or family members baby for a week straight, no breaks and see if you can handle it. Get something else that needs love and nurturing like a cat or a dog. Don't do it to get back at your parents or because all the other girls at school have kids. Be mature and think about it. Good luck and i hope everything works out for you!
2007-10-30 07:23:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactley how you feel. I felt this way when I was sixteen too. I loved my boyfriend more than anything. I didnt end up staying with him. And I have had 2 serious relationships since him too. Now at 22 I am due to have a baby on the 18th of next month, Excited yes, but scared because I still could be TOO Young, to even handle the situation, and At 22 I dont know if my relationship of 2 years will last forever, although I hope for it to, and nothing is bad. Do what you want, but so much wll happen to you in the next few years, I think you should wait. Good luck.
2007-10-30 06:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your age determines how "ready" you are to be a mother. Likely you would be very loving and doting to a child, however, since you are even asking this question - yes - you are too young. You probably don't know what you want to do with your life and since this is one area that you can "control" it seems like a fair choice. It isn't. Not only do you take on a HUGE responsibility for the child, but you still have a life of your own that you have to live.
As you seem determined - you may want to travel a little bit first. Having a baby is not cheap - so get your traveling out of the way now. Go to Europe, to South America, to Aftrica, experience life a little bit - then if you want to be a mommy, your child will be richer for it.
If you get pregnant just to prove that you can - then you've proved nothing. There are 6.5 billion people here now - what you are able to do by having sex and producing a child is not miraculous, especially if you are irresponsible.
Hope this helps.
2007-10-30 06:24:01 · answer #5 · answered by jeffzo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think you are too young and I know from experience that having a baby at 17 is not easy. You should be financially stable and know who you are. I had a baby when I was 17 and it was so hard (I would not trade her for the world) but I could have been such a better mommy to her if I was older, wiser, and financially stable. Your kids deserve the best from you, and although you may think you are ready it would be so much better for you and your future kids if you waited. I did it for pretty much the same reason, I wanted a family that would love me the way i wanted. But in the end I realized that I definately missed on alot, and that it took me a lot longer to really get to know myself and know what I want in life. Just don't rush your life because its a long life and you will have time to do everything you want and have everything you want.
2007-10-30 06:31:18 · answer #6 · answered by ★★pixie★★ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering why you are even asking this question when you stated you are determined to have a baby no matter what it takes.
I do think you are too young to actually have a child but I understand the urge. The unconditional love a child can provide you while you think others might be judging you or perhaps you aren't getting the amount of attention/love you feel you deserve. Also, at this age your hormones are nuts so it's to be expected to get teary-eyed at the sight of kids. There is nothing wrong with wanting a real family, but you have a whole life ahead of you to lead. Wouldn't you rather be secure in a loving relationship and/or secure financially before you bring your child into the world?
Also, I know I'm sure you heard this alot but raising a child is very stressful and worrisome. Don't get me wrong, I love my son and I will love the child I'm carrying now. However, I have alot of sleepless nights, I have to contend with scheduling conflicts and my life revolves around my son. I dont go out like I used to or travel like I did. I have to watch how we spend our money to make sure everything is financially met. Then I have those nights and days of worry when he falls or gets sick, sitting at the doctor's office or holding him when he has a 103 degree temperature and not knowing what to do to help him. It's a struggle; yes, a great struggle but still one that has tested me many times and will continue to test me. My son pushes my patience but as you grow older that gets a bit easier.
Really... consider everything in front of you and where your life is headed before you make such a life changing decision. I'm not saying never have kids, but live your life first - do the things you want to do so you have no regrets and when you are older you can tell those stories to your kids about the things you did.
2007-10-30 06:31:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
And at 16 or 17, how can you provide for a baby? If you want a real family, you need to be able to provide a good life for your children. Get to know yourself, build a good foundation for yourself and your family. Sounds mundane, but you really should go to school first, get a career you enjoy, make yourself happy with your own life. Only then should you bring another person into this world. Having children is wonderful - if you do it right. Having children when you're not honestly ready will only make life hard for your and your family later on. Babies don't stay babies for long. And you don't get to be young for long. Even birds build strong nests first... Good luck.
2007-10-30 06:27:09 · answer #8 · answered by phern43 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are yearning for a place to belong. Someone who will love you unconditionally. It is normal to feel that you need to push yourself away from your family and establish yourself on your own two feet. Having a baby now won't do that though. You give lots of time and energy and love to your baby before your baby can ever verbally return that love to you. You should have a baby when you want to give love to someone and watch him or her grow and show him or her the world. Not when you want to create a safety net of your own.
I suggest waiting a few years. Finish high school, go to college. There you will find a "family of friends," where you belong. A lot of freshman even find they can talk and reconnet to their parents after they move into the dorms.... Then in a few years, when you want to give all of your love to someone - have the baby you've been waiting for. :)
2007-10-30 06:39:49 · answer #9 · answered by Morphed_Into_A_Buterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are.
You have the rest of your life to be a mother, and if you wait until you are emotionally, and financially ready to do so you will be an even better mother.
Take time to enjoy your childhood/early adulthood. Do all the stupid *but be safe while doing so, and nothing TOO stupid mind you :P* things that teenagers who have children CANNOT do.
Just put your determination on hold awhile. Get a pet, or babysit or volunteer if you want something of "your own". I think if you do one of these things even though it isn't a baby it will give you something to care about and nurture, and that can fill that "void" until such a time as it is better for you to have children.
Good Luck
2007-10-30 06:27:08 · answer #10 · answered by moonshadow418 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋