Mostly for guys/fathers?

Question

It's drawn out, but try to make it short but detailed.
My 5 yo daughter's father and I first of all broke up, because he had become a pathological/ habitual liar and I had started to become physical, I left him, because of the lieing, him detaining me and because of me becoming physical.
He found someone new, at first things were fine, until she started getting in the middle telling me how to parent and what I had the right and not the right to do.
He allows her to make false accusations against me, She posted my daughter's name on an adult profile, she doesn't allow him to spend extra time with my daughter, she thinks she should be involved in everything, when they aren't even raising their own 2 children.
Fathers, How would you feel about your current wife doing these things? How would you feel, if your child's mother ONLY on occasions involves your new wife?
Need any more info., just ask please.

Answer 1

If he was a good father, he wouldn't allow this new woman do this at all. for myself I wouldn't allow it period, its between you and I (if this was us) to rise our child. the other woman only to treat our daughter nice. If she have any issue she should take it up with me and not you. the only time I would allow her involvement if I can't pick her on time.

Answer 2

Well I am not a man, however I am in a similar situation. My fiance has two daughters with a girl and then we have our two boys together. Mine came first (wont get into all that right now). But the mother of his daughters doesnt want ot think I should be involved at all, but my and my fiance beg to differ. To me she is not wanting me involved b/c she still has feelings for my fiance and is bitter toward me. But in all reality the women is your daughter's step mother (unless they arent married, in which she needs to totally back off) but if indeed they are married she is going to be almost as involved as the father since they do share a life. She has no write to tell you anything or step on your toes so to speak on your parenting but she will be in your daughters life if they stay together. But then again-if she is just a control freak, that would need to end.

Answer 3

It was never a problem for me, any woman that I was seriously involved with, after I had children, was mature and stable.
As long as they are not abusive to your child there is not much you can do, unless they break the law. If they do that, don't be afraid to involve a lawyer. I did it to my ex-mother in law to get her to stop gossiping about me.
Just show your child that you are stable and mature, loving and consistent. Children are not stupid, they see through the baloney.

Answer 4

Sounds like he dropped the ball all the way around on being a father. A fathers job is to protect his child, even from spouses. Go back to court, and bring hard evidence, not what you think, and a Judge will take care of it all.

Answer 5

If my new woman did anything to jeopardize anything with my kids, she'd be gone. If she said things to me privately, I would probably brush them off. If she said something to my ex and it was true, I would tell her it wasn't the right way to handle things and be angry but it would still be ok. If my new wife said something to my ex and my ex was a good mother, I'd see it as an potential issue that could affect my kids and it wouldn't happen again or my new wife would become my new ex wife.

Answer 6

There is no man left with this Ahab of yours, because any real man takes his responsibility on head first.

I am not married, nor have I produced any seed, but I have assisted in raising children. My response as it is with any spouse is you must have a level of maturity to carry on the weight that you brought in this relationship. I can not involve myself into any relationship where there is no long term commitment to building each other up in love.

Two, I have personally witnessed thousands of relationships like yours and I see your point. But you have to exorcise the demons of your past. Kill any contact that this false man has with you child and move on to someone who will hold you dear (first).

Next, kill anything like music videos and party scenes that induce these old emotions that tells you that you need him in your life. You have more responsibility with you than he does so move on; because when you took him in, you know that you took on an animated character.

Answer 7

YOUR the childs parent.....not her , and they will never be....they need to but out of the decisions , and anything else other then just friendship with that child....its not any of thier business...and if they posted your childs name on a web site you can have her arrested / and even a no contact order for them....and your ex needs to step up and be a Dad and a man and do whats right....and go to court fight for your childs rights..........And i assure you....i wouldnt allow them to control me..nor my child.....if i was remarried in that situation tey would have to understand i have a child and that child comes first......not the other way around....and if they couldnt handle that that couldnt handle me............
And if he dont.........or wont..........you take control of the situation and put both of them on the road.........its not in your childs best interest to have to be subject to such adult foolishness...............SO you be theier MOM....and protect and defend your child .........PERIOD !!!!!!!!

Answer 8

First of all..If she posted something about you that's not true or will hurt your rep., that's against the law! She can be sued over messing up your good name bye tell OTHERS lies about you..I don't remember what is called, but I say an eye for an eye..

Answer 9

ok, remember you asked for this.

guys will let their current (insert title here) do just about anything they want as long as they let them have what they want in the bedroom. Right or wrong is immaterial here, it's a matter of keeping the doors wide open (if you know what I mean ;) ).

Answer 10

My current wife wouldn't be allowed to do that to my daughter.