Not Getting Married The Better Solution?

Question

I know a lot of people todays think that not getting married is the better way to go. With increasing divorce rates, the financial burdens and ect. Not getting married SEEMS like the ideal solution.

I don't believe that! I think its pretty ignorrant the way people make it sound like not getting married will automatically make everything prefect. Doesn't mean that the relationship will be anymore loving, that you won't end with any less of a jerk or witch! That you won't have financial issue as well at end. A lot of non-married people ending up court these days. I've know people who weren't married that have had some horribel relationships! The easy way out wasn't so easy!

The only real benefit not getting married has, is the expendability factor. Dump 'n' run. And to be honest, if thats your priorty. I'd rather be alone! Whether your married or not people with always be people. Marriage doesn't create the issues, people do. Problem can come in many forms.

Agree or disagree?

"GUSSIE"

I WASN'T TRYING TO PUT DOWN COMMON-LAW COUPLES. YOUR READING INTO MY QUESTION WRONG!

NOT WHAT I WAS SAYING AT ALL.

Answer 1

I agree friends of mine that were never legally married are having to get a legal divorce b/c they were living together for so long I think that staying single and just shacking up is a better situation for me anyway

Answer 2

I agree with you, not getting married isn't a solution at all.

The key here is trust and love in the relationship. I guess those who don't get married either think that it is unnecessary to be legal because they feel married already (which is just fine) or in some cases that it wont last if they indeed take the plunge. Some people are so scared of commitments that they avoid it in hopes that by doing so more drama wont be created. They just don't want to mess with a good thing.

It really doesn't matter if people get married, the relationship is either stable or not. The 'dump and run' isn't really 100% anyway, unfortunately most of these people don't realize that until the union is separated. When people live together for a time things become collected and must be sorted out between the two parties.

Trust and commitment here is the issue. If you love someone with all your heart and they do so too for you, well then I don't see why you wouldn't want to have a ceremony and make it official. I guess they are paranoid because they have been let down before and want to prevent as much heartache as possible.

"Marriage doesn't create the issues, people do." So very true and it's odd that nobody ever thinks of that or cares to. No matter the type of commitment, very true.

People need to just be more conscious when involving themselves with other people. If you know everything is perfect than stick to it. But if you feel uneasy still, than it would be best to move on. Eventually you may find someone you will actually want to legalize it with. Being uneasy should tell anyone that the relationship just isn't in the place it really should be. If you can't trust the bond between you two than why bother?

Most people don't listen to anyone, especially themselves. They feel uncomfortable with their situation so they don't commit. Really people, if you feel uncomfortable even in the slightest bit than it's really not working out anyway.

Answer 3

I think it is naive of you to think that a marriage certificate guarantees the success of a relationship.If it did ,people would not need a pre-nuptual agreements and there would be no need for divorce lawyers.There is no easy path to a successful relationship it requires commitment from both parties.I know couples who are married and some who are common-law and there is no appreciable difference in how they behave.They love and care for each other,some have children, heck some even have grand children, they have hopes and dreams, they have their ups and downs ,they work hardand pay taxes.They work through their problems. The couples who are living common-law look like everyone else, heck they could pass for normal.I don't mean to throw some humor in there but it seems you are not giving any balance to your side.Not all marriages are happy,some end in divorce,and sometimes there is cheating.Let me make it clear, no one should be think of entering a relationship if they think people are disposable.People create the issues in a relationship, not the fact they are married or not.I will quote you "Marriage doesn't create the issues,people do".Would it not also follow that the same is true for common-law relationships?

Answer 4

Things will never get better unless you face the problems head on. By you getting into a marriage, you're only setting yourself up for more problems, especially if you really don't care about this person. Trust me, I know. There is a time and place for every thing and you must first work out your differences with your family before bringing someone (hopefully someone you've been with for a while and truly love) into your family fold. Get everything out on the table. Maybe they don't know that what they're doing is bothering you. In any case, a quickie marriage is never the best answer. If you really can't stand your family then I'd suggest getting a job and finding a good roommate.

Answer 5

Agree 100%.

It's funny how some people think that the hardest part of dissolving a relationship is obtaining a divorce certificate.

The only thing that WOULD make a difference is choosing to not get involved in serious relationships at all - which is a viable solution, if this is what one wants to do.

Answer 6

while you have many good points, i can't say i agree with your premise that not being married is the easy way. i am not married, but have been with my man for nearly 9 yrs...we have a good relationship, a beautiful daughter, a house and cars and the usual things people have when they are married, including the same problems married folks face. not being married for us is a personal conscious decision, not because we are afraid it will make life rocky for us or because we want that little escape clause to duck out and run if we want. we don't believe that "living in sin" makes our life perfect or that it's any less/more likely to last based on this choice of lifestyles. we don't fool ourselves into thinking this is what it takes to save our relationship. it's our love for each other that does that part.

we've seen that there are few real benefits to changing this arrangement. we get a bigger tax break being not married (given my lower income working part-time and staying home the rest of the time to raise our daughter) so even that one is out the window for us. financially we're okay, we have power of attorney over each other, wills are made and life insurance policies in place to help the other. our daughter is being raised in a loving home with two people commited to each other and her. if things are good as-is, what real reason do we have to change it?

Answer 7

I agree. People always say that marriage messes up relationships, when in reality it creates a stronger bond between two people who really love each other. Marriage doesn't always work, that is true, but it is us as human beings that either don't want to make it work or don't respect it. I'm glad there is people still that believe in marriage.

Answer 8

Agree 100%

Answer 9

Agree

Answer 10

I agree that people create issues, but what suits YOUR lifestyle may not suit someone elses, I personally believe whether you marry or not is something that is totally up to each individual and that there is no right or wrong way to live your life in this regards.

(I'm married by the way)