I dont know what to do. I'm 20, i want to have a career and a life befor i even think about having a child. I REALLY do not want this, yet i know my boyfriend who is alot older than me is anti abortion and will want to keep it if i am. I'm skint and cant do a test till Thursday, this is really upsetting me.
Ant advice or thought? Please help?
2007-10-30 04:23:30 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
I can't beleive how stupid some people are on here. I don't mean you bunny, i mean the people who are so obviously judging you for the situation you find yourself in at the moment. How can anyone seriously think that women use abortion as 'late' contraception, how utterly ignorant. A lot of you obviously have no compassion for a young women making the most difficult decision of her life, you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourselves. Abortion is traumatic for any woman at any stage of her life and this decision can never be taken lightly. Most women who become pregnant by accident are not stupid or irresponsible. Bunny, get all the information you can before you make your decision and find a good friend you can confide in. Make sure whoever you tell is open minded and will not try to influence your decision, but provide support to you. I would suggest telling your partner, if he loves you he will not force you to continue with a pregnancy you do not want. I wish you the best of luck and hope you do not allow the ridiculous answers on here make you feel any worse.
2007-10-30 04:55:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
An option no-one has mentioned on here: your boyfriend is older, anti-abortion, presumably established and solvent. How about letting him raise the child? Any contact you wanted could be by arrangement. If I have the wrong end of the stick about him, his opinions shouldn't count.
You also don't mention any family support. Do you have parents or other family members who might wish to bring the baby up? If so, don't dismiss the idea. The baby will not only be your child, but their grandchild/niece/nephew.
I speak as one whose nephew was adopted. His mother wouldn't let us have him. He is now 23, and there has been no evidence of him wishing to contact us, and I fear he is lost to us for ever. Good luck in making one of the most important decisions of your life.
2007-10-30 19:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by steffi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did you not use contraception ? I really don't beleive that abortion should be used as a form of 'late contraception'
You really can have a baby and a career at the same time - I have both and manage well...
However if you really dont want to have a child then it is your body at the end of the day, but you must discuss it with your partner and not make the decision for him.
2007-10-30 11:30:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Nobody wants to do it, but sometimes its the best option for everyone involved. Enough kids live in poverty or need homes or are resented for ruining their parents lives, and so on.
I would tell your partner you are knocked up and while you respect his opinion ultimately its your decision. You are the one that will be going thru the pain and suffering, not him. If he really cares about you he will respect this (but may still be rightfully upset).
Basically if you catch it w/i the first 6-8 weeks you'll go in, give em 500 bucks, and they'll give you a OBGYN exam, an ultrasound, and then a little pill. You go home, miscarry w/i 24 hours, do a follow up visit, and its done. Thats the medical abortion. The surgical one is alot more unpleasant, but not as bad as all these horror stories you hear.
Its not pleasant, its a hard decision, and people will try their best to make you feel like a low life. You arent. Ive had a medical abortion if you want more info, feel free to email me.
Good luck.
2007-10-30 11:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
Take the test and if it's possitive speak to your boyfriend and explain how you feel, if you are in a rela relationship you will be abloe to talk though this and compromise somehow to come to some kind of conclusion.
It's not the end of the world and remember having a baby doesn't haev to stop you from having a career even if you have to put it off for a couple of years.
Take Care :)
2007-10-30 11:30:21 · answer #5 · answered by ItBeMoi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all I'd say tell him. If he is anti-abortion, therefore he should be willing to support you and therefore I think you should embrace pregnancy. Producing a new being which is both part of you and your partner, it's amazing and beautiful. And you can still have a career. Anything is possible if you try hard enough. I wish you all the best (and I really hope you have the baby. You'll never know how your child would have turned out to be. It might bring you so much joy that you would think 'how could I ever have thought about aborting this child?)
Anyway, good luck in deciding (and in the birth if you decide to have it)
2007-10-30 11:30:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
You don't even know for sure if you are pregnant. Wait until you have a confirmed pregnancy to get all worked up and start making decisions. Even though it is technically your choice, he deserves a say in it. Its his child too. Please don't do anything without consulting him and perhaps a friend or older adult. You can have a career and a child, it will be very hard, but your boyfriend is willing to help out and you are capable of raising this child as a team.
2007-10-30 11:39:28 · answer #7 · answered by love 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
first things first go and get a test done. The other thing is that you should always know that it is your body and you decide what happens. If you really don't want to have this baby then don't, i mean i don't support abortions but why would you do something that you don't want to do. But one advice i always give is to think this through and speak to your boyfriend about it. Think about it before you decide anything, because i don't want you to regret anything later on......good luck and i hope everything works out!
2007-10-30 14:17:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have your life all planned out but this child is a person too. This person living inside you has a life ahead of it too. It's not the baby's fault that you decided to have sex before you were ready to get pregnant (no birth control is 100% effective). I would recommend having the baby and putting it up for adoption. You might not want a baby right now but you shouldn't kill your child just because you see it as ruining your life. If your mom was pregnant with you and had an abortion you wouldn't be here. Talk to your boyfriend and see about getting an adoption. In almost all states there are Safe Haven Laws. All you have to do is have your baby and hand it to a person at a safe haven (doctor's office, fire station, hospital). All you have to do is bring the baby to the place and physically hand the baby to a person and say you are the mother and can't take care of your child. No questions asked. Then they will take the baby and find him or her a home. At least give birth and give the baby away. You have someone else's life in your care right now.
2007-10-30 11:32:56 · answer #9 · answered by Rockit 6 · 3⤊ 6⤋
Please consider this really seriously. You might regret your decision in years to come. You are young, but you can also have a career but in a few years time. Babies aren't babies for long and the love that you have for your child is overwhelming. Obviously, you should check you are definitely pregnant before you start worrying. Can't you get your partner to buy a test and get this off your mind!! If there is a baby then it was by mistake, which isn't the babies fault. I hope you will change your mind and grow to love this baby!!
2007-10-30 11:33:26 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa T 6 · 4⤊ 3⤋