What if it was just as acceptable to point out women's flaws as it is to point out men's flaws?

Question

This is one area where the genders are clearly unequal. Some of the people on this forum might seem to disprove this, but they're not representative of the genpop. It is (and has been for decades) quite acceptable to point out the shortcomings of most men publicly, without much in the way of fear of even a reasoned response, let alone the woman ending up in the doghouse. But if a man even hints at the shortcomings of most women quietly, and he's overheard.....watch out. If he points out that a shortcoming of his woman is just her being a woman, he's lashed out against or she quietly puts him in the doghouse. But, she is free to blithely state that his selfishness is just a guy thing, or that he stinks or looks like crap. Let me know if you need more examples.
What if the masculinists & anti-feminists made as their goal a level playing field in just this regard, and went from there? Are they not willing to suffer the consequences? Are they not aware that they allow this inequity?

Super Ruper, you're answer is insightful, as always. I hadn't thought of the chilvalry element to this.

Yes, true equality entails equal openness to criticism. We're far from there yet, but moving in the right direction.

I'm learning that women are publicly degraded more than men for their appearance. I still think women are more harsh about their man's flaws (including appearance) than he can be about hers.

Answer 1

We can't because we baby women; we coddle women; we treat them as feminist princesses. I agree that the day we stop this sh*t is the day they will be equal.

Answer 2

it is incorrect both techniques. a lady has no accurate to slap a guy because she don't love him telling at her. She would not pick to be slapped. females say they pick each and every thing equivalent, nicely, it is [paintings of being equivalent, no longer treating someone incorrect, because you're a lady. accurate s can bypass a longggg way. the end of this international is next 365 days. On would 21, 2011 the bible is education that this international is coming to an end. this may ensue. study more advantageous at....

Answer 3

Dude. Guys who get laid do that ALL THE TIME. It's called NEGGING. Works like a charm! But you have to be subtle about it. It must be dressed up as an effort to be nice, a backhanded compliment. Instead of saying "You have ugly nails." say, "Nice nails. Are they real?" Oh man, exploiting female insecurities is so much fun. I had my fix; now I find it almost too easy and too cruel.

But definitely brownnosing a woman is OUT! I never hesitate nowadays to express disapproval at something a woman does, no different from if a man was doing it.

Answer 4

Brilliant observation. Go do a blog search on the Internet and check out how many women's blogs contain this statement, "I'm not a man hater, but . . . ." Then they proceed to "male bash" based on some negative experience they've had. Women are allowed to male bash but if men do any female bashing, they are "misogynists" -- and the women reading this will give me a thumbs down (I want them to, to prove my point). The reason? Society continues to pander to women as if they were infants and there's an implicit fear that any negative generalization will disempower them. The day that men can female bash as much as women male bash is the day we know women have finally become equal, and aren't being coddled like babies.

Answer 5

It's never acceptable to tell someone they look like crap. And if you are going to tell someone they smell bad, I believe it should be done in a tactful manner - the person who smells probably wants to know so they can wear a different deodorant, or whatever.

As a rule, I find it acceptable to criticize ANYONE for something that they cannot do anything about - like saying that someone's face is ugly, or that someone is stupid. People look different and are of different intelligence levels, and there is nothing they can do to change those things - why criticize them for it? It certainly isn't productive. On the other hand, if someone is inconsiderate to you, rude, etc., I believe you SHOULD say something. Not in a berating way, but if you have a problem with someone you should let them know, and propose a reasonable solution. Bottom line, constructive criticism is ok, other criticism is not. The only exception is weight I guess - and that goes for men and women. I would never tell someone s/he was fat, although to be quite honest, it might be better for society if people were honest with each other (and themselves) about that - there IS an obesity epidemic going on after all, and we need to do something about it.

P.S. I do need more examples. And while I think it is equally rude to criticize women's and men's physical appearance, you have to admit that women's appearances are scrutinized much more heavily and commonly.

Answer 6

I think this practice has alot to do with political correctness. Since the growth of feminism into mainstream culture, women are treated almost as though they are a different race. There is clearly an 'us and them' attitude between the genders, no question. And you are correct, the standards for public scrutiny and criticism are very different. But I think its only because men need to be considered 'chivalrous', which includes not 'outing' your female partner, and women still need to be 'protected' from the harshness of society.

Now, is my answer PC? Nope. But its certainly true, no matter how distasteful it is....

Answer 7

Nice observation.

Feminism spread disdain for men. It's no surprise that people do not mind when men are thrown under the bus.

Men's rights activists are trying to get people to realize that sexism against men is still sexism and still wrong.

I don't think society is ready to listen yet.

Some of the attitudes here seem to reflect that.

Answer 8

I think that the problem here is that men don't like it when women think that they can now criticize them, just like men have been criticizing and judging women for centuries.
Women have always been criticized for the way they dress, behave, parent, and have always been subjected to a double standard. Women who had to be aggressive or assertive, were somehow lesser, or ruined, (not suitable to marry) OK to sleep with, but not to be seen with. Now men are getting some of it back because women are no longer required to be silent, loyal wives, and keep their mouths shut, if they know what is good for them.
Women are holding men to some of the same standards that men have held us to for centuries. It's about time. Perhaps, now you will rise to our expectations, because now that you are aware that we have them, and other men are not picking our husbands for us.

Answer 9

I agree with you. Male bashing is rampant. It saddens my heart to see women who think they are superior to men.

Take care. I'm happy to see this issue is being brought to light. It needs to stop. My hubby and I have noticed this disturbing trend in the media too.

Answer 10

actualy to the contrary. have you looked at any of the magazines lately? Where they take a close up of women's butts and thighs and analyze it for cellulite? makeup/no makeup? who has gained how many pounds etc.
You are talking about personal events which may well be true but cannot be used to make a general statement because in your life it may be true, but in general, it may not pan out. I personally have not noticed what you are referring to. I have witnessed the common gender banter ie you take too long to get dressed, stop asking if your butt looks big in the dress, you women talk too much on the phone. And on the flip side, put the toilet seat down, take out the trash, you are going to wear the same shirt 4x?, you guys give up sundays entirely to sports etc.
So no, i do not agree with your statement above. Men and women do point out each others' flaws all the time, some of them just stereotypes and others actually true

Answer 11

Are you really under the impression that women don't have their flaws pointed out. It seems so many anti-feminists on here are ultra sensitive to the injustices that happen to them, and blithely unaware of the injustices that happen to others.