What form of discipline should we use??? SCHOOL TEACHERS PLEASE READ!!?

Question

Our daughter is in Kindergarten and has had 8 weeks now to learn all the school rules. The school uses a color change and stamp system. She is sent home each day with either a stamp when she has followed all the rules or a color depending on how many times she has been in toruble by not following a rule. One rule break is yellow, two is orange, three is blue, etc.... She comes home more often then not with a color change. Anytime we tell her she MUST come home with a stamp to attend an event she wants to go to or receive a gift she comes home with a stamp. We know she knows the rules and can adhere to them based on her coming home with a stamp when it is necessary. What form of discipline should we use when she comes home with color changes?? Should we "allow" one color change without taking any action?? She is 5 and therefore can understand the consequences. We want her to do better but are at a lose as to what to do. It just does not seem to be geting better.....but actually worse

Answer 1

Interesting... I've never heard of this stamp method before. To be honest, it sounds like a pretty flawed form of behavior modification. I mean, given the average 5-year-old's fascination and interest in colors, it seems like a bad idea in the first place to associate good and bad behavior with blue for example. Everyone loves blue! I realize that your daughter seems to grasp the concept, but if I were in your situation, I probably wouldn't base my own reward/punishment system entirely based on the faulty stamp method. Try talking to some of the other parents of the students to see what they think of it, how they've reacted to it and how they have reinforced it (if they have at all) at home. After that, if you're still satisfied with the system, just give it a little time. 5 year olds have so much creative energy to express, but they also want to please. Give it time. You're involved, that's the most important thing.

Answer 2

I think there might be an issue with plan... The first big issue is... Why do you have to implement the consequences for her behavior at SCHOOL? Behaviorally, it doesn't make sense for a couple reasons.
1. The behavior should be consequated IMMEDIATELY... that means at school. And guess what, a colored card is not an immediate consequence.
2. It doesn't make sense for the parents to be the "bad guy" at home in the time that you get to spend with her for something that happened at school.
3. Do you know for what behaviors she gets these cards... is it talking out, hitting, not doing her work? Is she clear on the the expectations and consequences.
4. Kids, at that age, are curious and exhibit inappropriate classroom behavior... These times should serve as a learning experience as well... Yes, there should be boundaries set, but what are they?
5. The biggest thing here is... How does the teacher know if you are consequating or rewarding her appropriately at home. If she relies on you to implement rewards and punishments, how does she know if you are doing it appropriately or doing it at all (nothing personal). The answer is she doesn't and she can't monitor what happens at home...SHE needs to consequate the behavior in school, immediately. Because of the time span between her behavior and consequence... the consequence looses effect and, therefore, looses its effect, behaviorally.

The biggest thing you should be asking is, what is the teacher doing to address the problem behavior AT SCHOOL... is she punishing, teaching correct behavior. The teacher really needs to be addressing and consequating the behavior at school. And, at the same time working with you to support it, but she should not rely on you to dish out the rewards and consequences... I mean, what if you have something planned for the night, and she comes home with a color card... do you have to reschedule? It is not practical.

So, I think you should:
1. Find out what behavior is occurring in school in which she gets the cards for.
2. Find out WHY she is engaging in that behavior.
3. Ask the teacher how the behavior is addressed in school.
4. Ask the teacher what the expectations are at home in terms of developing appropriate consequences for the cards. Ask her if it's your job to implement the system or what... it just seems to me like its a pretty loose system if the consequences are left to be dealt with the parents and are not clearly defined by the teacher...

Am i right in my assumptions about the current plan?

Answer 3

For most 5 year olds, just letting her know that you are disappointed in how often she has a colour change will work. If it is only one rule every so often - that is okay, but if it is getting worse, tell her you want her to be better behaved and make you proud with all the stamps she will get.

Answer 4

Focus more on the positive and reward that.
Sometimes attention to the negative is still a reward.

Just don't say you'll do one thing at one time then later on say you'll do the other.

I think you should allow a color change without taking any action.

I'm not a school teacher but I have a smart head on me.

Good luck

Answer 5

this is the very reason i home-school if our educational system has come down to the stamp system,with 5 year old then things are worse than i thought. she is 5 she is suppose to fidget and raise her voice or maybe even just be silly....this is early socialization, this is how children learn...I would do nothing unless it was an excessive behavior like hitting or biting. why should our children conform to an adult society in order for the teacher to have an easy day..maybe we need to retrain society that children are still just that .....

Answer 6

Don't be so modern about this, take things in your own hands, and show some control. If you are tired of this happening, you will think of something since we are so creative in our own ways. I hate the stamp system, and all the modern diciplinary tactics that we try to employ on our children. I grew up with whippin's when I was in trouble, and I would hope that the old ways continue with today's crappy society.

Answer 7

What exactly are the rules that a 5 year old is supposed to follow in school? Are they reasonable? Which rules is she breaking? Are they always the same ones? What determines a "rule infraction" at school?

We need more info.

Answer 8

i'm an aspiring coaching important and your superb guess could be to pass and shadow a instructor interior the grade you will want to show. Ask the instructor a superb variety of questions approximately how she bargains with it. Being in college you will might desire to do diverse scholar coaching reports that require you spend time interior the faculty room the two gazing (in the beginning up) or coaching the class (often the final part of your practise the place you spend approximately 3-5 months with a particular classification).

Answer 9

colour code

rules dempending what it is

Low colour code system (auto)

1 Light Brown= mistake
2 brown=warning
3=green= stronger warning
4= black max warning
5 red alert= detention


strong code system

if she breaks stuff or hits you or beats up kids in front of you set the code straight to 5 a red alert.

but for mild things give her mny warning so she knows shes doing right

they is no mild colour code it would work pretty much the same as the low code

Answer 10

Little girls are bright. She is figuring out ways to beat the system.

Try a small reward each day. If that does not work then try a punishment by taking something away from her.