I am a very sexual person that loves to experiment and have fun sexually. I have caught my husband on MANY occassions masterbating to porn and it hurts me so bad. I have cried many tears and begged him to stop but he keeps doing it anyways. One of the biggest reasons that it hurts me is because he is not having sex with me. I will try to get him to do it with me I am even willing to watch porn with him and do it for him but he says no. He will even go weeks without having sex with me and I will try to turn him on by dressing up or throwing him on the bed he will turn me down and i will go to sleep only to wake up in the middle of the night to him masterbating to porn agian and he just turned me down that night! I am very unsatisfied in bed since i like to have sex 5 times a day if i can get it. I am attractive i modeled for a company till i quite to move with him down south. What am I doing wrong? Doesnt he care that this hurts me so much? It feels like he is cheating is he? Am i wrong
2007-10-30 03:41:50 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thought i would put a picture with this... so i added my pic to the profile and by the way.. trust me... i am more than willing to join in .. it is the turning me away and doing it when it hurts me and behind my back. and me NOT being satisfied.. i get looks and attention from every other man but him... why? what do you think
2007-10-30 04:24:55 · update #1
This story is a store of mine down to the last sentence 3 years ago in my life. He would turn me down and I'd come home from work and he'd be in the computer room masturbating to silly internet porn but would act like he wanted nothing to do with me. Mine was just a boyfriend though so it was a lot easier. How long have you been married to this man? My boyfriend ignored me for 6 months to where I looked elsewhere for attention, and am now married to the man of my dreams. I think it was a sign for me to move on. I did and I am so madly in love with my husband. I'm not suggesting that you're going to get divorced, just keep your eye open. Everytime I would try to talk about it with him he would just ge sooooo angry at me and would never understand. I just gave up and I'm glad I did. I didn't feel good about myself. I had no self confidence. So I ended up just picking up extra hours at work so that I would not have to deal with it and finally moved on. I always though women were the ones to withold sex. well way more then men. It's odd that men do this. I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I mean this because I've been through this. It's not easy. I wish you the best of luck. I would see if he would agree to see a counselor. That would be very beneficial if you want to stay with your husband. Keep your head up and I will honestly pray for you to feel better about yourself. Best of luck. =]
2007-10-30 04:27:17 · answer #1 · answered by prenatalpastry 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always laugh at similar questions from women who complain about their husbands whacking it to porn. In most cases, these are the same women who think that sex for 15 minutes once every other month should be enough to satisfy their husbands! Clearly this is not the case with you.
I can't offer any explanation as to why he prefers masturbating to porn over sex with an attractive and WILLING wife who is more or less begging him to satisfy her. If you're telling the truth about being willing to watch it with him, dressing up, and insisting that you're willing to try anything and everything to get the spark back, then there is no logical explanation that I can think of as to why ANY man would turn that down. I guess you know what to ask Santa for Christmas this year. And hopefully the batteries are included!
2007-10-30 03:53:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My first husband was also addicted to Porn. You and your husband need to seek a counselor fast! His lack of attention to you will only fester until you find an outlet that helps you to feel attractive and alive again-beware of that! I have been through what you have been. It wasn't until after our divorce that a counselor helped me to see that he had real INTIMACY issues, and porn was a symptom of those issues. He likes the fact that the women he masturbates to are NOT REAL, so they have no 'hang ups' they are 'beautiful' and always ready.....you are not the problem. there are deeper issues, for both of you! But I have been through exactly that rejection- I was turned down only to wake up and find him in the den jacking to the tv! And I felt so rejected, ugly, blah blah blah! But it is NOT you-you are dealing with an addiction. Unless he is willing to get help, and deal with his intimacy issues, it is going to be a LONG process too!
No, he doesn't care that it hurts you, because he is addicted. Is he cheating? It might feel like it, but worry more about whether or not you will end up cheating over this! You are not wrong, you feel betrayed, rejected, and lonely. Seek a professional's help. He may never give up his addiction, and you will need help and support to deal with it. Don't make the same mistakes I did-don't look for the attention you crave from outside your marriage! It will only make matters worse!
Try not to overreact anymore, you aren't really, but until he realizes that he is in the grip of something destructive, and gets help, you can't stop it, either. Try to find other distractions until you can deal with the situation with the help of a professional. And don't let other men turn your head! men can sniff out this kind of problem miles away, and they will prey on your weakness right now-the predators always will! Good Luck, and find a therapist as soon as you can!
2007-10-30 03:57:55 · answer #3 · answered by Daisy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No you are not over reacting!!!! ok this is what you do you will need a box and a match.. go home when he's not there and get everthing.. tapes mags whatever.. and burn it... you have a right, it's your house, he's your husband and this is your marriage.. if he was with another woman you'd kick her ***, this is no diffrent.. cheating is cheating no matter how you sugar coat it it's still cheating.. when a man is getting off on anything other than his wife it is considered cheating even in court.. it will still be considered adultery.. it's time for you to take matters into your own hands (no pun intended) and get drastic.. sure he's gonna be pissed at first but he will get over it.. why shoud you have to go with out sex and he get his kicks somewhere else.. and why would you want to after youve seen what he likes to do.. and he is choosing it over you.. god i could see how that could be a blow to your womanhood.. if it were me i'd do this in this order...first , the next time you know he is jacking off grab the camera and take his picture.. then burn the porn.. email said pic to everyone he knows.. then send a copy of the pic in a mothers day card to his mom and write inside.. look mom see what i can do.. it would hit him below the waist and publically humliiate him beyond repair.. it works great when you can't get someone to see what their doing is wrong and is ruining your marriage.. it will also show his mom what kind of a man she raised.. but when everyone is laughing at him he will be forced to see what everyone is laughing at, a grown married man still playing with himself like a teen age boy.. but hey that's just me.. i hope you know you deserve better and i hope you get pissed and take a stand for yourself, your marriage and him... burn the porn get the filth out of your lives and if he still refuses then youve exhausted all messures and it would be time for you to move on.. hey he's not going anywhere, he is still gonna be right there in front of the tv jacking off to whatever he's watching.. oh and dear if he's watching gay porn then i'd take that has a hint.. good luck...
2007-10-30 04:17:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you are over reacting its one thing to watch porn its other where he isnt giving you any sex or intimacy. If you are doing what you need to do to attract him by dressing you and watching porn together, perhaps its about that time to rethink the relationship, because what is the point in being in a relationship the communication and sexual desires are broken down.
What are yall, roommates for that is how he is acting.
Let him have his porn addiction, choking the chicken to himself, for its his lost.
And you had done what any woman would do once things have become inconsistent in the sexual department of a relationship.
Perhaps it is time to move on, if he still choose to ignore you. Therefore you could choose to go back home and jump start your modeling career again.
2007-10-30 03:57:11 · answer #5 · answered by SecretsGyrl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you are over reacting, i can see what some of the other posters are saying but the problem lies with the fact that your husband, it seems, has replaced intimate (and it sounds like, great) sex with masturbating to porn films.
You aren't doing anything wrong from the sounds of it, it sounds like he is a jerk and amazingly lucky to have you.
It is obvious that he has some problems/issues and needs to seek medical help.
If you decide to hang around/help him/support him etc then great, but you would be fully justified to up and leave, he may as well be cheating for all the attention you get.
Doesn't sound like you'll have much problem finding a great guy that can't keep his hands off you.
take care
2007-10-30 03:52:08 · answer #6 · answered by Poombs 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, this needs to be taken to another level.
If he is constantly jerking off to porn and not sleeping with you, then there's trouble. I'm not saying porn is all bad, but it's one of those things that's usually for single people. Then again, I'm sure many married men (maybe even women) abuse it.
Personally, I would no longer allow it in my house. Get rid of the computer, or internet. Though that doesn't sound totally practical.
You guys need a sex/marriage therapist most likely. He's probably addicted -considering how much he watches it.
GET A COUNSELOR!!!!! I mean that.
2007-10-30 03:51:06 · answer #7 · answered by Tiff 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
catching husband masterbating porn hurts reacting
2016-02-03 17:03:31 · answer #8 · answered by Courtney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time ask him if you can join. A man has certain needs and sometimes that need is to be filled by himself. It isn't that he doesn't love you or doesn't like what you do for him its just the way of a man. Just like a man will always look at another women even if he is married or in a relationship. My fiance has done this many times before and I have been in your situation. I always offer to come help. (hint hint) He loves when I ask that and makes him want to involve me more. Sometimes a man wants to get off but not have sex. My hubby and I watch porn together. Whether its me doing a pleasing act for him while he watches or its love making with it on the TV. I believe that you are over reacting but I also believe that this is just the way of a women. Try to understand where you man is coming from and try to see his needs. If all else fails just masturbate yourself. If he is doing it why not you. Plus a man loves to know there women can please them self. I think you will be just fine if you learn to let some things go. A man will be a man just like a women will be a women. There are just certain needs as humans we need to take care of our self's sometimes. If you ever want to talk you can email me at the address provided in my profile. Good luck.
2007-10-30 03:52:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is a form of cheating and if he is not willing to give it up you need to move on and find a man that will respect you. You are a very beautiful woman and you could have any guy you wanted so why settle for a peice of **** like this when you could have the world in the palm of your hand.
2007-10-30 05:38:22 · answer #10 · answered by jenniferk5683 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋