My wife and I have been together for 3 years have a 9 month old child. I feel like we are roommates. We hardly talk unless we are away from home. We argue most of the time. I work 7 days a week and when I come home and just want to relax she has a problem with that. She calls my name constantly until it makes me a nervous wreck. When I'm at work she calls my phone all the time. my job requires me to move product on and off my truck and she wants me to stop and talk to her. And if I don't she gets an attitude and wants to argue. When I tell her I have to go, she hangs up and calls right back. She tells me she loves me and want to be with me but that kind of love I don't need if she continues to make me feel miserable. She never see her wrong only mine. She has ansiety and won't take her medicine. Sometimes she can be the sweetest person and then she can just turn into a totally different person yelling and screaming. She keeps the house in a mess won't pick up, won't clean up. Help?
2007-10-30 03:34:56 · 19 answers · asked by joseph b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get help quick / Life is to short for that crap.
2007-10-30 03:41:47 · answer #1 · answered by Solo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to find a way to 'relax' at home that involves her. My hubby used to hold the baby while he played on the computer or watched tv. Then you get some time with your baby and she gets a little peace. Or you could cuddle with her while you do whatever it is you do on the couch.
She sounds like she needs some validation that you still love her after the baby and since you aren't providing that she's freaking out.
When she calls and you can't talk, gently tell her that, but then call back when you can talk just to say 'I love you' and make sure you call often for 2 minute talks.
You need to realize that she's just going to be anxious and you need to help her feel more secure before you can start addressing her craziness.
Other than that you could see how she feels about marriage counseling. And try to get her to take her meds.
2007-10-30 04:00:47 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last part of your question clicked right in, that she is under medication. Your wife sounds like that she is insecure and very possessive. Obviously she has some kind of a medical problem that needs to be re-evaluated and keep it under check. She needs help, if you have a relative that could keep the child for some hours in the day that would help and maybe she can do some house work to keep her mind of depressing things. She needs your support more then ever in her condition and I am sure in time things will turn around.
2007-10-30 03:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by Chris B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realationships can be so hard at times, good for you to reach out and ask for help!!! Have you considered seeing a couples pychchiatrist together? I think you both have a lot to say to eachother and sometimes a third party can be very helpful. It sounds like you both still have a lot of love for eachother so I would try to do whatever you can so you can both be more happy together. It sounds like maybe your wife is "smothering" you because she is all you have, you are her link to the outside world. Does she work or have any groups to go to during the week, she also misses you a lot since you work so hard and so long(7 days a week). Maybe she feels lonely without you home and overwhelmed by the baby. My husband works a lot and is gone a lot as well since he is in the military and I get upset whenever he comes home and does his own thing like playing on the computer or reading a book, I realize he needs his down time and he knows I feel lonely and couped up all day/week/month without him so we know eachothers feelings and try to grant both with what we need by giving him down time and maybe reading together and then with a plan to do somehting together as well.
I know your marriage and your faimly is very important to you so hang in there, talk to your wife with a clear and open mind, and think about that third party who knoes nothing about your situation and can listen to you both andoffer suggestions? Good luck and God Bless!
2007-10-30 03:49:32 · answer #4 · answered by Sierra 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to someone. If you can't afford a marriage counselor, then talk to a minister or someone. Find a babysitter and do a date night. Is she left at home with the baby while you are at work? She maybe resents that you are free to go out and interact with the real world while she is home with a baby. I went through this, to an extent. I felt like a roommate and he felt like a paycheck. We ignored it and ended up divorced. You guys need to talk, whether it is just the two of you over coffee or dinner, or with a counselor. Tell her how you feel and ask her how she feels and what you can both do to try to make it work.
2007-10-30 03:46:13 · answer #5 · answered by JENNIFER G 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I too suffer from anxiety and it is very hard to control some of the mood swings. Are you sure she isn't taking her meds? I've actually had worse mood swings being on the anti-depressants, but they work for the anxiety. I would tell her she needs to talk to her doctor about the meds if they aren't working for her, or you will leave. Maybe a threat will get her the help she needs....she's acting impulsive, which is a symptom of anxiety....she may be living in fear of losing you. She also should seek the help of a therapist for her anxiety. Good luck.
2007-10-30 03:47:19 · answer #6 · answered by dobiqueenx2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to spend some time at home. Not so much at work.
It sounds like you two have quit dating. She may need time away from child to. It sure sounds like she is lonely. Remember the other women out here could be worse. A divorce opens up a BIG BIG BIG can of worms For the rest of your life.
2007-10-30 03:51:01 · answer #7 · answered by tadm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a pile of issues here, which are turning into a mountain.
My best advice is to talk with your wife about therapy for the two of you. It works when you WORK it.
If she won't go, consider going for yourself.. this way, you can make a sound decision about what you need to do for YOU.
take care.
2007-10-30 03:39:16 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think that you honestly just need some space. Having a baby changes things. She may be feeling a little down...you know hormones... But if this how she was before the baby, then you need to run...
2007-10-30 03:52:21 · answer #9 · answered by jennyღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs a total checkup since having the baby. Sounds like hormone inbalance.
2007-10-30 03:41:17 · answer #10 · answered by cooter726 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she sounds bi-polar.
Have a talk with her and tell her ur concerns. Let her now that u r tired of her attitude. U deserve to be treated with more love.
Seek counselling with her. maybe she's goin tru some sort of depression.
2007-10-30 03:41:07 · answer #11 · answered by Miss-Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋