I'm 19, and have known I was pregnant for about three months. I finally got the nerve to tell my boyfriend of three years, and he's been very supportive - he wants to get married, find a second job, etc etc. My biggest fear is telling my mom. My dad died last year, and we're still getting over that, and I'm afraid she may use my dad as a way to "vent". I've read that you can write her a letter, have a friend of hers tell her, but I don't know any of her friends, and my family doesn't particularly like me because my boyfriend is half Native American (but looks Mexican) and half white. They feel very strongly about anglos being with anglos.. My mom and I also both work for DPD, and we both know the same people, and I'm afraid she may go and complain to them, which may provoke me to give up my $12.35/hour job that I will REALLY need. I'm also going to school full-time, do I have to give it up? I'm so lost - what do I do?
2007-10-30 03:23:53 · 20 answers · asked by heartagrammusic 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I also wanted to let everyone know that I DO in fact plan to carry out with the pregnancy. No abortions here ^_^ promise!
2007-10-30 03:31:21 · update #1
Letters work really well, If you intend to hide for a few days till she stops being angry, a "congradulations Grandma" card says it all, but its a bit harsh (really depends on your sence of humor).
At 19 there isnt much she can do, and your old enough and mature enough to handle this baby.
The fact that the father is half native they will get over, and if you have the money, maybe find your own place?
You shouldnt lose your job because you are pregnant, thats discrimination. And as far as school goes, you can finish via distance ed, or do part time whilst your little one still needs you.
2007-10-30 23:08:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my best friend is 19 and just had her baby in Aug. she did want to get an abortion but we talked her out of it...i told her to just sit down w/ her dad (she isn't close to here mom even tho they are still married) and just tell him she was sooo scared turns out he was more excited then a lil kid on xmas morn and they are still very excited and happy for her
i think you should just sit her down and tell her your not a child any more she can't make you do anything you don't want to do (abortion or adoptions wise) ...you need to get to the Dr. ASAP because you are believe to be 3 months pregnant
i think your mom will be more supportive since your the only family she has left right now then you think just make sure when you do tell her you have a game plan explain your gonna work as long as you can since you have a pretty good job, also keep going to school, and tell her what your bfs plans another job and marriage etc. and if she still gives you crap about everything
say you didn't want to do this but if she doesn't want to be part of your life now when things are hard don't ask to be part of her daughter and grandchild's life later when things are easy
and as for your job just ask her not to say anything you need the money to raise the child you want to tell everyone
good luck best wishes!!!
2007-10-30 03:41:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a boyfriend who wants to marry you and support the kid. YOU are willing to work for as long as you can. These are good things.
"Anglos with Anglos"? Good grief - are there still people like that out there?? How will she feel about a "non-anglo" baby?
Just tell her. If she gets upset and reacts in a negative way - that's HER choice.
What in the world could she complain to your employer about? They can't fire you because you are pregnant - and they have to give you maternity leave.
School may have to end for now. You should have thought about that before you procreated. But - you know - woulda - shoulda - coulda. Move on.
If you know you can give your child a love filled life - marry your boyfriend and do it!
If not - give it up for adoption.
2007-10-30 03:34:36 · answer #3 · answered by liddabet 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i became wayyyyy to scared to inform my mom. i assumed approximately sending her a protracted text fabric jointly as we weren't jointly, yet i became too scared to do this. My next plan became to declare mom, my abdomen hasn't been feeling proper and that i've got been feeling undesirable, will we bypass to the physician? and then in case your physician assessments you out or does a blood try, he can inform you adult adult males that your pregnant and you will act such as you probably did no longer understand which you have been. What i ended up doing became asserting mom, i haven't began my era and that i do no longer understand why. And save asserting there's no way i must be pregnant. Then while your mom starts off asserting what while you're pregnant, say which you realize your no longer yet she would be able to get a attempt to sense secure.and then take the try jointly, and likewise act supprised. This labored out verrrrryyyyy properly for me. stable success and congrats! :)
2016-10-03 00:35:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about announcing your marriage plans first, let that sink in, and then tell her about the baby. Then she'll realize you have a supportive partner in the picture. I don't really understand what she'd hope to gain by complaining at your job (don't know what DPD means) but she'd come off as a lunatic in any event- so I wouldn't worry about that. She IS likely to be upset- so gear yourself for that- but likely because she is concerned for your future and your schooling.
2007-10-30 05:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to all these people, they stole my answer. They're all right, you should be able to talk to your mom one on one. Your not a little girl anymore, in her eyes yes, but for the most part your grown up enough to get started. I was married at 19, its not an easy road but its do-able. You don't have to give up your job you can take maternity leave. Your mom will probably be supportive, it may not seem like it at first but she will probably grow into it. Good luck and congratulations!
2007-10-30 07:49:10 · answer #6 · answered by Living In Fast Forward 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just sit her down and talk to her she cant say 2 much your 19 and it isnt always bad its a gift from above to be able to have a baby im pregnant with my 3rd and im only 18 my twins were born when i was 16 so you dont have to give anything up if the dad will be there im still working and going to school dont let anything stop you from doing what you need to do more know cause u'll have a child to look after and you want them to have the best life they can have good luck with everything and every need someone to talk to you can email me
2007-10-30 06:32:02 · answer #7 · answered by Lola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I I am 24 yrs old with an 8 year old daughter I know exactly how you feel my parents are hard core catholic my Mom kinda knew but I still had to tell my father who hasn't ever cursed in his life & strongly believes marriage is the first step! In his eyes I was a dirty slut not that those words ever came out but thats how I thought he would feel ! so I told them my mom cried my dad just threw his hands up & walked away & that is the most strongest words he could have not said ! I thought I was gonna die, but after not talking to me for a couple of months he came around .So while you are scared the best thing to do is just straight out tell her she is your Mom I hope it works out for ya !! good luck!
2007-10-30 05:01:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the thing is that if you are going to be a responsible parent that means being responsible! You need to be getting prenatal care and you need to let people know including your mother because you are going to need support around you; and delivering a baby on the bathroom floor is going to a lot harder on your mother then letting her know now and giving her time to get used to the idea. You have made a huge decision and it is your decision but you need to act like the mother you are going to be. You are going to need help, you are going to need support, and you are going to have to ask for those things. People don't know how to help if they don't know the problem.
2007-10-30 03:52:01 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to tell her NOW
the longer you leave it the worse she will feel
explain that you love your boyfriend and will love and care for the baby
tell her yourself in person, however hard it may seem
make an effort to include her in the pregnancy and the babys life when it is born
(feeling the kicking, buying clothes, sorting out a nursery etc)
she is your mum and should love you no matter what and her racism is totally unfounded
good luck x
2007-10-30 07:41:30 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋