is it time to teach the USA a lesson?

Question

as an Englishman and business magnate of many major US based companies I feel I must ask this.
Many of the Americans that I own have difficulty spelling words correctly i.e
Colour-color
Honour-honor
Favour-favor
skool-school
In my opinion Americans have not had the correct skooling and therefore struggle.
In my many US based companies I have started an English skool for the Americans that I own.It is mainly held in the huts after work duties.
English skool is very popular with my Americans and it is teaching them a valuable lesson in life.
SKOOL IS GOOD

Answer 1

As an American and business magnate of many major UK based companies I feel I must ask this.
Many of the Limeys that I own have difficulty with proper hygiene, i.e
Soap- the stuff you use on your skin, not your Knickers
Deodorant-the stuff that makes your stench tolerable
Toothpaste-or so the Twattys understands, toenail polish
Shampoo & Conditioner- Oh wait, you all wear wigs
In my opinion the UKs (abbreviation appropriate) have not had the correct parenting and teaching therefore struggle.
In my many UK based companies I have started mandatory Washroom skills classes for the UKs that I own. I even bought and had delivered a bed to train them under because thats where they keep the toilets.
I hope these lessons go well as I had to cancel the Backbone class I had implemented due to no-one showing up. At this point though the Washroom skills classes are very popular with my UKs and it is teaching them a valuable lesson in life,
SH!T ON YOUR HANDS, IN YOUR HAIR AND ON YOUR BREATH IS NOT GOOD!

Answer 2

Well 1st off I'd like to know how many people you "OWN", is it only Americans or do you "OWN" Europeans as well? My other point, and this may be hard too get your head around, although we say we speak English, we actually speak American. Just like Spanish and Mexican are a different language, English and American are similar but different.
I remember in the early 70's there was a push to simplify spelling by using, for example, skool instead of school or kat instead of cat. This idea was rejected and I've never heard of it since, until today. In fact I find no reference to the word "Skool" in reference to a place of learning. Even the Cambridge dictionary doesn't list "Skool". However Cambridge does list both Color and Colour, with Color being defined as "US for Colour". So in the US, Color is the correct spelling.

To say that Americans have not had the correct schooling is snobbish and reeks of elitism. That attitude is quite present as you refer to owning people. But this may be an olde English term that is acceptable in across the pond.

Answer 3

It's very interesting question, raised in a week when, Channing Crowder, presumably a result of the American College system, showed the limit of his education.
Americans, obviously, aren't taught the source and basics of their language. If this is the case, you can hardly expect them to respect the spelling and pronunciation of it.
I'm not sure if learning to spell is a life lesson, but it is certainly the gateway to a beautiful and rich language. A language that has produced a great literary tradition. Through this tradition a great deal of knowledge can be gleaned which, in turn, can be applied to life.
This said, before criticising others, perhaps we should look closer to home and also reflect on our own literacy figures.

Answer 4

As I told you in one of your earlier rants, come down here to the south and tell me Americans have no standards. I am quite tired (not tyred) of you and your BS attitude, you deserve a bit of attitude adjustment, that any American would likely be all too glad to provide!

You speak as if you are somehow better than those you purport to exploit for personal gain. If you are the philanthropist, help our poor uneducated folks out, and toss a fair wage at us.

I'll be needing no lessons from you, rather you from us, in manners, and how to NOT be an ***.

Answer 5

Hey some of my Americans have learned how to spell through our intensive training programs, we are an approved breeder and found the book Keeping and Breeding your Americans to be v. useful source material.

Answer 6

First of all you don't own any Americans.(see your first sentence) Secondly we will spell or say it anyway we like Mr. bigshot magnate , when you become the worlds greatest superpower nation and the worlds leading economy then perhaps you can give lessons, in the meantime you might take a few lessons from the folks who obviously know how its done.God bless the USA.

Answer 7

Yeah, I'm so sure that an "English . . . magnate" has the time to give a rat's @$$ about how anyone spells, but only kindergartner's misspell "school" that badly!

I give you a "C+" for trying to instigate a flame war;
a "B+" for knowing how the English spell certain words
(how long did it take you to look those up?);
a "D-" for not only failing to make any cogent point,
but also for your bizarrely, purposeful misspelling and otherwise poor grammar and punctuation;
an "F" for asking an inane question,
and then going on a rant about it;
but, on the plus side,
I give you a solid "A+" for wasting everybody's time!
Congratulations!

Answer 8

You find that we add the U and American English is closer to Shakespearean English. Though my spell check wont accept proper English!

Answer 9

Yes. We misspell everything and it's because of our bad skooling. Good thing for your huts!

Answer 10

soon,the giant dam at mosul will break,releasing 3 trillion gallons of water onto bagdadh,allah get ready to party