Please be kind in your answers. I am not looking for insults or harsh judgements. I am feeling fragile and confused enough as it is...
I started playing this online game about a couple of months ago. I am married, with 2 kids. I got to know this guy in the game and pretty soon it turned into something more. I have never done anything like this before. I have been married nearly 9 years and I love my husband very much. This was only a spare time recreational thing. I was certainly not looking for someone else.
I think I have completely fallen for this guy. He feels the same way, and he is married with kids too. We are both complete wrecks here. We can't quite get over the strength of our feelings for each other. We have seen each other's pics. I have tried to walk away but it's tearing me up inside. I can't eat or sleep. We have talked about meeting, but that would be making the final step into a real affair. I don't want to ruin my marriage. Help...
2007-10-30 03:06:43 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nice Lady,
Thanks for your comments. I haven't thumbs-downed anyone. It must have been someone else. I will give you all thumbs up now to prove it.
2007-10-30 03:16:16 · update #1
In fact, it says i have to be level 2 to do that anyway..
2007-10-30 03:16:53 · update #2
Well, thank you all so much for your input. You've been so kind, it's brought me to tears.
I have been such an idiot. You're all right, and I have always known this deep down. This was always a road to misery and heartache, and he certainly isn't worth destroying my marriage for.
I think I have just been addicted to the way he has made me feel, and that first excitement you feel in a new relationship, which I felt so long ago with my husband I had forgotten how it felt. I know no man could ever match up to my husband. He's the kindest, most lovely man in the world. I would be a total fool to continue any further.
I will stop this right now. Thanks to you all.
2007-10-30 03:35:57 · update #3
Go for it. Have fun. Try him out and see if u like it.
2007-10-30 03:11:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 6⤋
You need to walk away from the PC. Find a new hobby...You two may be great together in a fantasy game, but the chances things will work out in real life is slim. Especially if you both are already married. You crossed the line by exchanging photos and conversing outside the game. Would you have done that if your husband had been sitting at the computer with you? You would be insane to lose your husband over this kind of crush. Just cut all ties with game boy and focus on your husband and marriage. Some fantasies should stay just that, fantasies! Game Boy could wind up being some kind of ax murderer or something anyway...Don't you pay attention to the Public Service Announcements about hooking up with people in real life that you meet online?
2007-10-30 03:21:13 · answer #2 · answered by Really now 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you that I was in the very same situation as you are. My problem was I was entering a fantasy world with someone that didn't criticize, judge me or put me down like my husband did. I fell head over heels for this man and fully intended to meet him. He was 4 states away from me. The problem with this is that my husband ended up finding out about it and we almost lost the marriage right then and there. Other problems eventually ended our marriage, but the trust he had for me was totally gone. It was enough to make me ever think twice about doing it again. Especially when I knew nothing would come of meeting this man except heartache because we could never be together. I wish you all the luck in the world and think with your head, not your heart.
2007-10-30 03:29:20 · answer #3 · answered by dinny's engaged!! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your a grown woman and you should know by now that you don't fall in love with men you've never met........ not real, true proper, worth tearing your husband and kids lives apart kina love.....
If you both met online in a gaming site then I'm guessing your both maybe a little lonely... you say its recreational.... why not find a hobby that involves being with friends and getting out the house for a while.... its easy to fall for someone who is in a similar situation to yourself.
Don't take that next step and meet him. You will regret it the rest of your live. Especially when you realise that meeting someone and having a relationship with them is completely different from "chatting online and seeing each other photos". You would have to be seriously crazy about this guy to destroy the lives of people you love for him...... and you've never even met him???
Just stand back and look at this rationally for a second.......How would you feel if the tables were turned and it was your huband doing this to you??? Why you even swapped photos with this man is beyond me.
Have nothing more to do with him. Not a single thing. Nothing. At all. Never. Concentrate on why you love your husabnad and father of your lovely children.
2007-10-30 03:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by juicy_satsuma 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to have some control and either leave your husband or let this other guy know that you can't continue doing this anymore.
The reason you are so infatuated with this man is because he is something new that you aren't used to. People are always attracted to someone they aren't supposed to be because it's new, dangerous and refreshing. But in the end it probably wouldn't work.
You have to do this on your own, the only other suggestion I have is to tell your husband so he can help you regulate what you are doing on the computer with this guy. I mean if it really hasn't turned into anything more than computer talk, you really haven't cheated so you should be able to tell your husband what's going on and that you really want to walk away from this other guy.
If you meet this guy - your marriage is over.
2007-10-30 03:24:31 · answer #5 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If this was a game to you from the start, just a spare time recreational thing, you've sure found a way to blow it out of proportion.
You don't want to ruin your marriage, but you're doing everything possible to accomplish that.
No matter which way you turn your head on this, it's going to stink.
It must be hard to look at your husband and children knowing you've got a knife waiting to twist in their back.
Yet, you return to the computer like a dog to his vomit.
You won't won't regain your sanity, until you find out you were just being used and you lose the very things that are dear to you. No, that's right, not you right? Go on then, what do you got to lose.
2007-10-30 03:32:51 · answer #6 · answered by badkittie2u 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A fine mess there, you must ask yourself what are you egtting from this guy you are not egtting from your husband especially seeing as you have yet to meet, which will end badly if you do you will end up like two high school kids in heat. I agree send one last email saying it's over, if you truly believe your husband and children are more important you will not answer any of his emails etc. Fix your email so that any emails from him are send to the garbage file. Remember there are 2 families here that will be devastated by this, 2 other spouses and 2 sets of children. The excitiement of something new is driving your emotions, you feel like you are young again and are caught up in that, it's that feeling that gos away once your married "the thrill of the new, the fantasies etc". Of course ultimatley you will sway one way or the other, good luck to you and both families involved.
2007-10-30 03:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by Diamond Dogs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is exciting and cool because you are talking to a fantasy. He is not there with you everyday doing the stuff that married couples have to do. You know like paying bills, raising a family, You don't even know if that is his real picture. Let me give you some advice, go to counseling and figure out why you are having an emotional affair with this man. If you love your husband like you say, you will not meet this guy. A little lust for this Internet fantasy man is not worth your family. I wish you the best.
2007-10-30 03:20:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you feel this way (i've been there) sometimes an emotional bond like you have with this man can be much stronger than any physical attraction.
Your main question should be to yourself. Will this feeling go away if you don't act on it or will you regret not acting on it and gradually come to resent you husband and thus ruin your marriage.
only you really know what the right answer is. I don't envy you having to make this descision, but i wish you the best of luck whatever you choose.
2007-10-30 03:15:59 · answer #9 · answered by Poombs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It started out innocently and it needs to end that way. You are married with kids and so is he. Think first off how you would feel if your spouse came to you with something like this. Next, think of how your kids would look at you. If you're not happy in your marriage then leave, but you say you are still in love with your husband. We don't hurt those we love. I don't say this to be cruel but to remind you that you married this guy for a reason, you live with him everyday and still claim to love him. What you feel with this other guy is a connection, it's not love. Besides, if you left your husband and he left his wife, how much trust would you ever have in a relationship with each other? it's just not the way to go. Log off now and stay offline.
2007-10-30 03:23:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
listen you no longer have the right to think only about yourself you have lives that depend on you to guide their lives. your children need you. You are being unfaithful and it must stop feelings lie and they are a temporary thing at best. Stay married and let this go or it will not only hurt you but destroy any chance of your kids having good relationship when they grow up. This guys is not a quality guy if he know you are married both of you have shown no respect for yourselves or the ones you say you love. Love protects not punishes.
2007-10-30 03:36:08 · answer #11 · answered by Paul H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋