i know, being 18 in college right now seems like the perfect path for me right now! but a boyfriend of over a year now and with him being in the Airforce has made difficult to see each other like we use to. Don't get me wrong out relationship has been through a lot and we have made it threw all of them! I know how to be independent I'm practically on my own right now. I believe that if you have God in your life everything goes so much easier, and i do believe any marriage can work! My boyfriend and I want to move in together and a soon enough get married. I don't really have that much going on in my hometown. I'm finishing up my freshman year by December and would continue my education where every i go! What advice to you have for my situation? Move and get married?
2007-10-30 03:01:09 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
honey, i got married at 18..........im still married at 23 (and to make it even better i have 4 kids).
who cares what everybody thinks? if you love each other, i really dont see whats stopping you......... i say go for it!!!
dont let other peoples past, ruin your future!
luv.•´ ¸.•*´¨) ☆.(¯`•.•´¯)
.(.¸.•´ (¸.•` ☆ ¤º.`•.¸.•´
2007-10-30 03:06:45 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Sonadora♥ 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
!8 is young and getting married at that age isn't for everyone BUT that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it.....afterall some people get married at 30 and then when they get divorced say they were too young.It's all relative... Only you know what is best for you and if it's what the 2 of you want then I say go for it. You certainly won't be an odd couple in a military town. My husband is in the army and alot of his friends are 19 or 20 and have 18 or 19 yr old wives. Personally I wouldn't have gotten married at that age but I wasn't ready to get married. It's a decision that you and your boyfriend should make and if you too are comfortable with that decision then to hell with what anyone else says. It's your life and you have to live it the way you see fit.
Edit...someone said that the only ones on here that think it's a good idea are under 25 themselves.....Not true....I'm 30....been with my husband since I was 19 (he was 17) People told us we wouldn't last b/c we were young. Everybody told us to date other people. Neither one of us wanted to. In my opinion if you've found what you want and what you are happy with then why bother with anything else? That philosophy landed me a great guy and we are more happy together now than we were when we were younger. We commited to growing together and we have a great marriage now. I personally think that you can get married at any age and as long as you work on it and stay committed to each other then you can have a great life together. Has everyone on here forgotten how young people used to get married? It seems like now that everyone is so intent on just doing their own thing and getting married at older ages the divorce rate keeps going up. SO obviously age is NOT the determining factor in whether a marriage will survive or not.
2007-10-30 10:49:20 · answer #2 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young to get married!!! You can be tired of hearing it all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that it is the truth!
You love him - that's great! But, you have NO idea how much you are going to change in the next few years! What is the hurry? Why not be together, continue your education, and then 5 years from now, if you still want to be with him, marry him!
You are going to do what you want to do. You don't want anyone to give you advice on how to live your life, so you are going to prove everyone wrong! YOU are the one who will suffer from your inability to reason! Marriage is a lifetime commitment!! Even the best circumstances bring difficult times. You have an idea of what being married to this man will be! You will soon find that the reality is nothing like your fantasy! Then what??
I wish you luck! You have a very difficult road ahead of you if you decide to get married!
2007-10-30 10:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get your education finished before you get married, and preferably before you move in together.
I also believe that God will help you, but you cannot go into a marriage on the blind faith that God will be there to get you through anything. The fact of the matter is that marriage is a lot of hard work for the couple, and ultimately it is their responsibility.
Not having "that much going on in my hometown" is not an excuse to spice things up with a marriage. Also, a year-old relationship at your age is not yet marriage material. You two are going to change a lot in the next five years, believe me.
I would suggest that you finish your education, land yourself a good job, and then talk marriage and moving in together with your boyfriend. You need stability in your life before you can expect stability in your relationship.
Best of luck.
2007-10-30 10:16:50 · answer #4 · answered by elsie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think it's great you have found someone and are willing to make this grand commitment to someone. Just keep in mind that it is difficult, even more so when you are young. I am 23, I got married at 21. I love my husband dearly and when we got married people thought we were crazy. I didn't care what they thought because it was what we both wanted. Now we would both change things if we had the chance. We still love each other deeply but wish we gave ourselves some more time as seperate identites before marriage. Its not that marriage isn't great, it really is. Its fantastic having someone to come home to everyday, to share everything with, to be with and know that you will always have them. But at a young age we are still finding things out about ourselves so this is what makes it so difficult. I'm not offering you any advice just some words from my experience. Marriage is great, it's wonderful. But just remember that you both have a lot of growing to do and that one's dreams, desires and goals may not be what the other was thinking of in life. It is important even more so at a young age to look at what you both want from life as a couple and as individuals and make sure you work towards your goals as a couple and support each others individual goals. If you do this you will be fine. It will be difficult, you both will change, but remember why you will marry each other and always look after each other's best interest.
Young marriage is ok, but my god it can be very difficult, at times it doesn't seem like it's worth it, but really it is, you don't want to risk losing the person you want to be with forever.
2007-10-30 10:06:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully you have some wisdom beyond your years, and you are actually able to tolerate straight talk ---
Everyone is telling you that you are too young for a reason. You have no idea how much you are going to change in the next few years, and you will continue to change significantly throughout your 20's. Everyone who is telling you that you are too young is actually trying to protect you. No one wants you to know the pain of divorce and the hardship of being a single parent. You naively think that everything is going to be so much easier because you have God in your life, and yet here you are planning to disobey Him by moving in with your boyfriend. How does that work? You should stay home and work on your education. Once you are married it will be harder to do that. Once you are pregnant and begin having children, it will be harder still. If you should get divorced and become a single parent, it will be next to impossible to continue your education. If you finish your education before you get married, I guarantee that you will become a much better wife and mother.
2007-10-30 10:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by mt75689 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait to get married is the advice I would have. Who you are now is going to change alot in the next 10 years. You are really going to be figuring out who you are, what you believe in, what you want out of life. You don't want to wake up in 10 years and realize the life you have is not the one you wanted.
If you two have survived so much then waiting at least until you finish school shouldn't be a big deal. If you both feel you have to rush it like this, then that is a sure sign you are not as confident as you think and you would be marrying for the wrong reasons.
But, that's just my advice.
2007-10-30 10:20:30 · answer #7 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Getting married doesn't make a relationship last... it takes TWO to make a good relationship work, marriage or not.
Why don't you take your time? You have the rest of your life to get married....
Perhaps people are saying you are too young for marriage because you are not mature, nor prepared financially and emotionally for a marriage situation? Sometimes we need to take the advice of others and run with it, hon.
Finish school, keep seeing the guy, and then make a decision.
From personal experience, i can tell you that between the ages of 17 and 23 i changed my mind about things many, many times.
take care.
2007-10-30 10:23:07 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I don't think it's too young. Yes you do still have some growing and learning to do. But if you both love each other and think you're both ready for it, go for it. It is very hard. I got married at 20 and my husband's in the Marines. Neither of our parents liked the idea, but we make each other happy, and we find ways to make ends meet. We don't have kids yet, because he's getting out in a year and both of us still have to get civilian careers yet. There's a lot of moving around in the military, and taking trips back to your hometown, so it's hard to hold a job. You can definitely finish school while married.
2007-10-30 10:20:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just really think about your decisions. You say you are practically on your own but think of all the financial stuff. Think about what your family pays now and that you will have to pay for it when you move out and get married. Has he or is he going overseas? Its just a lot to think about but if you want to make it work then it will. Everyone is different and people mature at different times. I know I would not have been ready to be married at 18 let alone now but everyone is different. Best of luck!
2007-10-30 10:12:43 · answer #10 · answered by emshepp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not trying to be condescending in any way. Please realize that at 18 years old you are still very young and have a lot of growing up to do. Stay in college where you are, get your degree, and go to work for a few years. If this wonderful man is still in your life at that time, and you are in love with each other, then go for marriage. Marriage is huge, it's not like dating. It's forever, or at least it should be. Don't be in a rush. Having God in your life is a definite positive, but time and experience play an enormous role in your life too. I say wait.
2007-10-30 10:09:25 · answer #11 · answered by J Mack 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋