phrases....subtle things said that trigger low moods within you...and trigger anger in you to?
for example someone being condescending or patronizing....or maybe being hostile by indirectly insinuating things at you
how do you not let this happen to you?
im a 30 year old borderline personality disorder sufferer...i also have symptoms of PTSD to
2007-10-30 02:45:16 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I wish I knew the answer to your questions also. I wont be any help in answering, I am sorry but I have the very same things happen to me. I TRY TRY TRY to act happy or unannoyed (is that a word) when this is going on, with the mentality that maybe their words wont effect me like I KNOW THEY WILL!!! Sometimes it helps. Have you seen someone like a professional about this? They are really the ones to ask for sure solid advise. I wish you much success.
2007-10-30 02:51:05 · answer #1 · answered by Hot Betty J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well look at it this way, nobody has any rights to steal away from you your happiness right?. If somebody tries to do that let them not do it. Words are just words. You attach meaning to words. Yes, there is a dictioanry full of words and meanings, but it is all upto you what meaning to attach to them in the end.
So when someones insults you or mocks you, try not to take it seriously, dont let the words enter within you. Its your brain that decided what to do with the words, train your brain not to bother with such insults. Its might sound all confusing, but try doing that, the results will be amazing
-K
2007-10-30 02:52:21 · answer #2 · answered by kiddo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can help this by realizing that you are in control of yourself and no one can say things to you that are really going to do damage. You can also start small but start to confront people. Just ask what they mean by what they said. And if they get defensive you just tell them, that's not cool, what you said sure sounded like it was meant to hurt. Something like that. I have been taught to be so passive all my childhood that I have had a difficult time with this as an adult. I'm working on confronting people when they offend me, but doing it in an appropriate way that will help the relationship instead of harming it.
2007-10-30 02:50:02 · answer #3 · answered by Tact is highly overrated 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It could just be a symptom of the personality disorder, which may involve low self esteem. But this isn't the best forum to ask for a diagnosis or trouble shooting with your life. Your best bet is to get with a good clinician
2007-10-30 03:15:59 · answer #4 · answered by Terrence W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me that you have a low self esteem and are a people pleaser if you let them control your actions with their words. The best way to deal with them is to stay away, or if things start to bother you, just get up and leave before you blow up into a fit of anger. It's not worth it and only will cause guilt and lower self esteem.
2007-10-30 02:49:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
hay bru .. the only thing at the end of the day is how you going to let yourself be evicted by this negative action .. the purpose of someone els to say harmful things to you is for that person just to feel better about them selfs .. You have the power in how you going to feel about this action from some nut , you should let it run like water of your back for only this person is only trying to bring you down to make himself or herself feel higher/ better .. the power is with you in how you going to react .. Way should you anyway care for this negative person as she or he don't care about your welfare .. Turn around and say nothing but smile a cheeky smile and walk away as the King or Queen of the House ... "some times no words speaks the hardest " take care of your mental health its all you got that is only you .. always love yourself and only then you can love the one's around you.. Love
2007-10-30 03:09:31 · answer #6 · answered by juan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well since neither of us can really control what people say, we can only control how we react. So that is what I would suggest to you is try and see why it messes with "you" so much? You need to learn to control your reaction to these things, because in the scheme of life, you won't be thinking about what someone said you to a year from now, so its really small. Learn to let go of things when people say them to you. Don't hold grudges!
2007-10-30 02:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by Starry Pluto ॐ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes its in your head and people just don't know they are having that effect, but others can just as often be nasty passive aggressive gits. Ignore them and refuse to interact with people who act this way towards you continually, your time is valuable and shouldn't be wasted on idiots who just want to get a rise out of you for their own entertainment and self gratification. You are better than that so don't let them get to you...
2007-10-30 02:54:59 · answer #8 · answered by Cat S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
bottom line it's self control!
it's hard to create and maintaine but once you get it you'll not go back! :)
one thing that helped me is focusing on my goals and it may be selfish but if it didnt' help me get my goal i for the most part ignored it them and actions as well as feelings!
heck feelings are the only thing we humans can control! WHY let someone else control that with lame mindless words that pour out of their mouth!
i just can't see me letting someone like that control my life!
hope this helps good luck!
2007-10-30 03:08:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Words are just letters put together with an intended meaning. If they affect you, you have given them the power to do so. Sticks and stones cause pain, what can a word do to hurt you?
2007-10-30 02:50:19 · answer #10 · answered by Premaholic 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋