depression ttc please help !!?

Question

have been ttc since january and absolutey no luck. for few months i managed to keep strong and think to myself 'it will happen'

but now its nearly end of the year and another period is here.
i feel quite depressed and stressed and seems like everyone around me is falling pregnant... keep crying many days, feel low and depressed....

any ideas how to feel better about the whole thing and start facing the possible fact that i may never have children ? although i love them to bits ??

how to stop feeling angry and jealous of other women who have been blessed with pregnancy / babies ?

Answer 1

Firstly have a huge hug from me sweetie. I know this feeling inside and out...I had wanted children since the age of around 16 and I am 24 now, turning 25 in Dec. Coping with depression over not having something you so desperatley desire is difficult. My ex partner wouldnt come near me without some sort of protection, which hurt even more, as it does when you finally give up the ball game and use hormone controlled contraception such as the pill and depo - which I resorted to. After leaving my ex and finding someone new, the thought of just allowing to happen raced through my mind and thats the truth. So yet again it was difficult and turned to the pill so we could establish a relationship first.

Hold onto dreams and work towards them hun - it does and it will happen. However you have to learn to accept that it will happen when it does and not a second before. Thats how I finally thought about it when I took my last pill on the 22nd Aug this year. I had a withdrawl bleed and onto a contraceptive free cycle. I lived everday as it came, enjoyed our pets, my partner being able to go out and just generally accepting life. Then I found out on the 30th Sep that I am indeed pregnant. I throughly believe that the calmer and more relaxed and accepting over it that you are has a positive effect sweetie.

Unfortunately you wont be able to stop those jealous feelings, you just have to accept it. Remember to think to yourself thpugh 'One day - that will be me' because it can and does happen - look at me!

Answer 2

Hi Honey,

First off I know how you are feeling, My husband and I were trying for 6 months, I fell pregnant, bled 6 times and then miscarried at 16 weeks in February this year. We started trying again 2 months later and like you it broke my heart every month when my period arrived.
I am now 4 and a bit weeks pregnant and I am p[etrified.

I would recommend looking at the website askdramy, you put in the date your last period started and it does the rest of the work for you, You will then know when you are possibly ovulating and it will enable you to target the important days. Also buy some Ovulation sticks - These can get expensive so what I did was type Ovulation tests into my search engine and bought them in bulk, I got 30 for £7.00, they were the cheapest ones and wasn't sure on ordering them that they would work but for £7.00 you can't really mind. Anyway they did work and within 3 months of using them I am expecting.

Also just so you know, It takes the average couple a year to conceive, there is only around a 20% chance of conceiveing each month so I don't think that you have anything to worry about just yet. I know that Dr's in my area won't even consider looking into problems with falling pregnant until couples have been trying for 18 months.

Try and keep calm, eat healthily, avoid alcohol and smoking and just keep yourself healthy.

I am hopeful for you

xx

Answer 3

oh Hun i feel your pain i really do, it probably feels like your the only 1 that cant have a baby as there are others getting pregnant around you without even trying, but the fact of it is there are so many women out there that are struggling with this me being 1 of them and feeling exactly the same way you do its then and Ive said it before women like yourself and others that inspire me Neva to give up so don't you ever give up on trying it will happen one day it just takes time and there is so much wonderful medical help out there that when its eventually your turn and believe me that day will come it will have been worth that wait to be blessed with such a precious gift! try not to stress "i know its hard" go and get some reflexology or massage done once a week live your life make your body a temple ready for this precious 1 and get medical advice if not already to put your mind at ease good luck Hun x

Answer 4

Stressed and depressed are not the right recipe for pregnancy. Relax. Stop trying so hard and just let it happen. Don't smoke, exercise, take your folic acid so when you do get pregnant you have a healthy baby. One day you WILL get pregnant and there will someone out there angry at you for having what they want. You'll be a wonderful mom someday, keep that in your mind while you continue with your life making it better for your future child. I didn't get pregnant until I was 33 and it was totally unplanned but I thought I couldn't have kids and now I have the most adorable 4.5 month old to hug and kiss every morning. Don't waste your days waiting for something that will come eventually. Learn to relax and let go, you'll be fat (pregnant) and happy before you know it!

Answer 5

I'm the same way but my husband and I have been TTC for 1 year. This would be my first child his second. I agree I sometimes feel that there is no reason for us to be married if I can't get pregnant right away and all these teens are going and having sex with each other and getting pregnant the second they lose their virginity. I get so depressed on my period because I know I'm not pregnant. Try finding a hobby like Yoga or working out in a gym. Maybe that will take your mind off of TTC.

Answer 6

Have you been to see your family doctor? Have you been charting your cycle to see what days are your most fertile? There are tons of things you could do to help things along, you don't say if you have done any of them so I'm at a loss how to respond. There are lots of web sites that you can register for free to track your periods and what are the days you should ovulate and what days you should have sex. Do a search using the words ovulation dates or fertility and I'm sure many of these sites will pop up. Make an appointment today with your family doctor to discuss options, it is probably time for your annual exam anyway, maybe a pelvic exam is needed to rule out any problems. Be proactive if you haven't been already, being depressed and stressed won't help, you've got to make it happen!

Answer 7

Just don't give in, you are just at the beginning, I have been ttc for 4 years, you still have 2 more months to go before going to the Dr., but you still can make a visit to him. Don't feel to jealous of the fact that u aren't pregnant yet, remember that the best is yet to come, you would be bless someday, its probably not our turn as yet, believe me when I say the Lord hears our cry and knows our hearts desire, he wouldn't put more on us that we can't bare, don't give up and keep the faith

Answer 8

I dont think there is a way to stop feeling jealous or get over it. Its just one of those things we have to deal with. Im in the same boat as you and feel the same way. I get really depressed about it all. Ive had depression for years though, pretty much my entire life. I take Wellbutrin right now even though its not the best type of med for my type of depression. But it is apparently the safest one to fall pregnant on. When I do fall pregnant, I will stop taking it but for now, it really helps!

Answer 9

Quit thinking so hard about it. From my observations, the people who don't expect to get pregnant do, and the people who are trying for it, take longer to conceive. I have a friend who tried for a year to get pregnant, and it finally happened. It will happen if you just relax and have fun. The stress can't be good for your body, which may be inhibiting ovulation.

Answer 10

First of all you need to not base your happiness on getting pregnant. I know that sucks to hear but it's the truth. Second of all, keep trying, some people try a lot longer than you before conceiving. Have you been to a doctor to discuss fertility? Also, when all else fails you should try to adopt! Don't give up hope when you still have lots of options!