again, he has been caught texting my sister in law, txt says he could easy fall in love with her hell always be there for her etc, trouble is she is a lying alcholic, he denies this and claims someone took his phone text her these things, then at a family do i caught him playing footsie with her under the table and her making inuendo about his parts bein hard. its all a mess i love him he swears nothing went on yes he text her to help her failing marriage but didnt text any flirty or sexual as was on hr phone, we bought a house with him 6 months ago and feel trapped, kids 22 18 and 15, if i leave will i get tossed out of house, dont want to split my kids up council say i cant have house for older kids but im not about to ruin there life and tel them to find there own home, i need them help any suggestions...
2007-10-30 00:56:36 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please leave him before he drains you of your self-respect!
He obviously is a serial cheater and that means that no matter how he says he loves you, he's a liar.
Kick him out!
2007-10-30 01:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by cherie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm usually the first person to say to try and work it out, but with a man who has proven to be a continual liar and deceiver and with a sister-in-law to boot; kick him out. Look, if you have the home for the younger child, you will still have the same house and of course the older children can live there. As far as child support; well that is a different matter. Suggest you look for a job, if not already employed, so you can start on the road to independence from this man. Get a good attorney; find out the laws in your state and boot him to the curb. You've put up with enough.
2007-10-30 02:19:18 · answer #2 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to an attorney and get rid of him and keep the house for the youngest child with you. The other two are old enough to make up their minds whether they want to be with you or their father but I suspect that they have seen him do those things as well and will stay with you. If you don't file for the divorce, it is letting them know that they can be a jerk like him and get away with it which can hurt them more in the long run than getting a divorce now will. Good luck to you!!
2007-10-30 01:31:21 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I do understand what you are saying. After all these years of hard work to throw it all through the window...
Still, it looks to me that your hubby is a serial cheater.
He does like his comfort zone, which is his marriage, and that's why he'll always come back to you.
So, the question is, are you able to cope with it?
Some women do.
What matters is that at the end of the day, their hubby comes to them, and in some ways, is true to them, as while cheating, he kind of admits that no woman come anywhere to what his wife is worth. So, they'll always only be his mistresses, his sexual objects.
It's really up to you.
Nobody should judge you. What matters to you. Only you know where you are coming from.
Good luck.xxx
2007-10-30 04:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god...he is a lying cheating bastard and I dont think you deserve that!!! Just because your sister is not like that, it is no excuse. Your kids are mostly adults now and need to know the truth about him! This guy will remain a cheater but with your sister!! come one, get out of there and take your kids with you. Rent somewhere and get a job to support you. He will have to split thngs with you so you wont be kicked out, if anything he will be kicked out for being a cheater and a liar! I only hope you are smarter this time round and despite your love for him what example does this set for the kids, you need to move on without him and need the strength I know you have to do it other wise deal with a cheating husband and say nothing anymore!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlAUMQKFMIECxV1ftAxqW6Lsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071029213429AAaJojL
2007-10-30 01:01:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your sister-in-law is a lying alcoholic but your husband is a liar, too. No way did someone take his phone to text her, nor is he a marriage guidance counselor. That's just cheater b.s. designed to confuse you and make you think you're fooling yourself.
Here's an idea - he can leave. Just throw his stuff out on the front lawn, and change the locks. Oh yes, while you're at it, let your/his brother know what's been going on between him and the sister-in-law.
2007-10-30 01:16:49 · answer #6 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Julie - Stand up for yourself and your children please.
They are adult enough to get the picture here. Don.t be a doormat anymore.
Take it one step at a time. Tell him you know, tell the children what you know. Move out of his bedroom, even if you have to camp in the living room or in with the children. Stop cooking, washing and ironing for him. Do not show this man any kindness he is treating you in a despicable manner.
In time he will find someone unlucky enough to take him on and then you can arrange a more permanent parting from this excuse of a man.
It may be tough for a while, but your life will be so much happier without this abuse. Please be kind to yourself.
2007-10-30 02:50:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please please please please leave this dirty dirty bast@rd!!!
I'm 22 and I'm a child of divorced parents. My father is very much like your husband. He sounds disgusting and disrespectful!
I was 5 when my mum left my dad and she was only 25. She stayed with friends and family for a while and got a job so she could get our own little house. It was tough for a while but we managed. Your kids are old enough to understand... 2 of them are old enough to be working and can contribute to the household..... If you get divorced your husband will have to pay you money (whether you've been contibuting financially or otherwise) because you've brought up his kids.
If he has any shred of deceny he won't want to see his kids live in a hovel and will either let you have the house temporarily or will send money to hlp pay bills so his kids are safe and secure.
2007-10-30 01:08:24 · answer #8 · answered by juicy_satsuma 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you stay (for the kids) it will be for your demise emotionally i'm sure, your husband does not take his vows seriously, i suspect he has done this before and will continue, and to think he does this with family members, whats up with that? he has no boundaries what so ever, speak to your kids, mom.. perhaps you all would be better to move on, regardless of getting the house,if i had to choose between living like that or living in a cardboard shack, i think i would pick the shack,might be tough, but i believe i would feel better about myself. good luck
2007-10-30 01:06:21 · answer #9 · answered by Beverly W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure your kids don't expect you to stay w/ this lying bastard...! don't worry, I am thinking you will get the house, or perhaps it will be sold and the money split from what was put into the house... also, go for alimony and child support!!! don't worry, everything will be fine... I would dump this man... he thinks he can get away w/ this crap... divorce, and do it fast! =) good luck! =) explain to the kids that he's a cheater... they will understand... if they don't, they don't... this type of man has no idea what marraige means...
2007-10-30 01:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have 2 choices:
Kick him to the curb. He's a lying cheater.
Live with it and stop whining, complaining and nagging about it.
I vote that you move on. This is destructive to your home which affects your Children! Put them first!
2007-10-30 01:55:33 · answer #11 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋