So my assistant is new to the area, she seems to have moved away from a lot of her old problems, but her grown daughter and son seem to cause her some major issues. Every couple of days, right when I come to work I get a complete, often grotesque update on the personal lives of her children.
I know she doesn’t have many friends, at least locally, but every once in a while, I would like to hear good news, or anything rather than hearing about her daughters new fling. I feel like a hypocrite, as I want to listen to her, but I take it very seriously, and it is an emotional drain.
Any ideas on how to “lighten the mood” a little, I respect her as a person, and I would like to help out, but this stuff really is not my problem.
2007-10-29 19:29:47 · 11 answers · asked by only_init_4_profit 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Allow me to share with you the solution I was taught in the same matter concerning the "confessional".
As you may well imagine ; if the confessor internalized every confession he hears , he would soon be a raving lunatic. In fact he is to forget what has been told him at the moment of absolution ,He is in fact BOUND to forget it!!
In and of himself this is an impossibility; so, listen with a Christian and caring ear , pray to God for intercession and answer for the one confessing and release for yourself, then turn it over to God....IT ACTUALLY WORKS, not only in releasing you from the pressures but in getting answers and solutions for the confessed.
In your case I would add.....get the lady in question involved with the praying part.
2007-10-30 14:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by benjamin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
most offices have a policy of leaving personal issues at the door, showing up for work and getting the job done. You could perhaps say,
Sue, I know you are new here and don't know many people. Now I know that you have some issues, and I've tried to be helpful, but in all honesty, I'm not qualified to really help you with these issues. Also, I've noticed that lately, peronal matters seem to be taking over a great deal of the working time. From now On, I'd like to concentrate on work when we are at work. I don't mean to sound rude or uncaring, but after all, this is a business.
2007-10-29 20:12:55 · answer #2 · answered by zanthus 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The good thing is, you are willing to lend her your ears. That's very thoughtful of you =) but the problem is, you take it seriously.
Listen to her, she's just another human who needs comfort. But once she tends to get carried away, or the conversation turns to an emotional/ serious-stuff one, try to inject in a lighter note, looking at the problem on a positive side, or even perhaps, make a witty (but not offensive) remarks. Perhaps she'll be distracted and worry less.
Or, on a less-thoughful thinking, you have to show that you are less interested in her problems. She might be over-comfortable to shove all her problems on you, because she knew that you are willing to hear. A little disinterest might help in showing her her limit.
Good luck!
2007-10-29 19:52:29 · answer #3 · answered by Farah S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as in case you're great delicate, and function undertaking letting some issues circulate. i do no longer think of pointing out previous problems to the supervisor will help you in any way. Take the advice as that: sturdy advice. attempt to grin and get alongside with human beings, do no longer take offense at each thing that occurs. If something does difficulty you, you have possibilities: ignore approximately it, communicate it with the guy in a delightful way, communicate it in a bossy, condemning, threatening way, gossip approximately it to others, tell the boss, get mad, enable it circulate. What do you like that they had executed approximately you? (ignore approximately it probable) Golden Rule suits what could desire to you do to them (ignore approximately it). Do you like the human beings at paintings who're friendly and function a grin and a form be conscious and way? you need to attempt to do an analogous.
2016-10-14 08:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Change the subject.
2. Make positive comments about the topic, then change the subject.
3. Make positive comments about some other topic, then change the subject.
4. At appropriate times, tell your coworker that you care about her, and give her compliments that will boost her self-worth. Feeling better about herself may lessen her need to be so negative about others.
It's hard work, but it can be done. I think it is great that you care about your coworker enough to listen to her.
2007-10-31 19:55:19 · answer #5 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brush it off. Listen to her with half an ear or less. When it's time to work, tell her: I really need to take care of something or will you please do this for me? After a few times of this, the message will sink in. If you're known to give advice on "subjects", stop doing it and concentrate more on work. Good luck.
2007-10-29 23:21:03 · answer #6 · answered by DB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her the truth tell her to really just think about it and u got problems now and u wud like to be alone for some time i guess tht will work
2007-10-30 11:12:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to be rude but tell her to grow up and learn to deal with her own problems and that she needs to relize that not everyone will help her
2007-11-01 11:07:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel she wants your attention about her life. Tell her you can't help her, so pls don't tell her problems to you.
2007-10-29 22:04:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just send her on over(Yahoo Answers),and we'll fix her right up.
2007-10-29 20:12:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋