My mom is overprotective. Today my guyfriend came over and we went and sat at this place,which isn't very far from my house. So anyways my mom made such a big deal out of nothing and now she wants to go over to my guyfriend and tell him that the next time he comes over he has to come inside.
Idk what to do. I'm 18 and we were just talking (n my mom knows that). And we were just a few steps away from my house where all our neighbours could see us.
She's going to humiliate me. Pls help me..Idk what to do
2007-10-29 17:30:20 · 30 answers · asked by it's_me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't have enough $$ to move out. I'm only a student
2007-10-29 17:37:31 · update #1
That's a parents job to embarrass you. And your mom is just looking out for you, even if she is a pain in the rear.Parents today have an incredibly hard job. They see all this stuff going on and they love you and they don't want you hurt or pregnant or any number of things. I know this is hard on you and it makes you feel like a little kid. My parents did that to me and now it's your turn. I don't know your family but I was able to talk to them about what I felt was important and when they listened they found out I wasn't that far away from how they felt either. I requested a little freedom and got some as I proved to them I was responsible enough to be carefull and not have to have them bail me out of jail, or have a pregnant girlfriend . You really resent being thought of as a child don't you?. I know what their biggest fear is and so do you. Sit down with the one that will listen rationaly to you and be very honest about your wanting to be trusted, and ask what would be something they would have you do to prove you are worthy of their trust. you can work out a plan where you expect who you can have as visitors , who's houses you can visit and so forth. this should show them that you understand how they feel and you would not get into situations that you were not comfortable with. This is communication at the first level. This is how an almost adult child gets some freedoms.I know this is a long answer but It's an important one. Mutual trust is all your looking for and if you act responsibly you get it. Even if its a real pain. I wish you luck. If your able to use some of this, i will have done my job, again good luck.
2007-10-29 18:08:48 · answer #1 · answered by redd headd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he is just a "guy friend" then he should really have no problem meeting your mom, and if the neighbors could see too then whats the big deal? Maybe you should just let the two of them meet for the first time and if she's a smart woman then she'll know whats best for you.
I'm 20 and would have wanted my mom to be so protective for me, but instead I had to do it on my own. Besides a guy (friend or not) will respect you more if you show that you're big enough to appreciate your mom.
Show her that you can be trusted to make good decisions if you start with the first one! It's a process, but if indeed you are 18 then this is a good step to showing all of your guy friend, your mother, and yourself that you are more mature=)
Good luck!
2007-10-30 00:39:53 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Brittany 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok you know that your mom is only doing this because she loves you. she's not trying to humiliate you. you should be glad she's asking that you both be inside the house instead of having to sneak around to be with him. trust me when you have your own kids you will know how she feels. a parent being overprotective just shows how much love that parent has for that child. with how things are going now a days i don't blame your mother being that way. if your guy is really a good guy he would respect your mother's wishes and understand that your mother cares. so cut your mom some slack and in the long run you'll understand.
2007-10-30 00:41:47 · answer #3 · answered by what2006 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just have a real and honest talk with her. Explaine that you are an adult and she needs to respect your privacy. Not using thoses exact words!! That could turn ugly! But you need to reasure her that you are grown up and you can handle being a grown up. If she is afraid that you are going to go off and have sex or something than she needs a reality check... You are 18 and you are legally an adult so you should be able to go and do what you want and have the privacy that you need!! Just know that you are living under her roof and with parents like that.... Well what they say is what goes!! Hope that you can talk to her..
Lizz
2007-10-30 00:37:46 · answer #4 · answered by sinoritalizz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a mom, I can see why she might be worried. Is there a reason that he cannot be seen by your parents? Can you talk in a place where you can be seen talking but not be heard? As a mom my biggest concern would be "Why the secrecy?"
You are 18 and she has no right to invade on your space anymore (If your here in the USA, I don't know about other countries).
If his intentions are good he would be willing to get to know your parents and then they can learn to trust that his intentions are good.
Hope that helps
2007-10-30 00:37:25 · answer #5 · answered by t. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she may be a little overprotective, but we don't know the whole story of your lifestyle. She may be upset with the way you live. You should try to talk to her and reason with her. Let her know your perspective. If she doesn't see things your way, then you have to respect her wishes because you're still living under her roof. The truth of it is that when you're living off of her, she makes the rules. She could chose to let you live your life the way you want it since you're 18 now, but she also has a right to butt in because she's your mother AND because you live with her.
2007-10-30 00:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by thisislizz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're mom could be like this because she just doesn't like the guy or she's scared that you may get pregnant. You should ask her why she treats you like you're a little girl and explain to her that you are an adult now and would like her to give you a little more freedom. Maybe after she hears you tell her how you feel, she'll lighten up and back off a bit.
2007-10-30 00:35:50 · answer #7 · answered by Cee Jay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom may seem like she is going to humilate you but she really is not. She is just looking out for you. She just doesnt want anything bad to happen to you. At least she is willing for the guy to come in the house when she is there. My mom wouldn't even allow that when I was your age. And if you want alone time go walk the mall or the beach go to the park.
2007-10-30 00:36:01 · answer #8 · answered by misscapula 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let her know how u feel. It is a good idea for your friend to go inside next time he goes over. This will build trust in your friend. Maybe your friend should try to build a relationship with your mom. Talk to your mom and let her know that you need your privacy at times. Try to become more independent by getting a job and that usually shows parents that you are more responsible.
2007-10-30 00:35:57 · answer #9 · answered by Missy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're right, she is quite possibly overprotective. She hasn't noticed you're of legal age. What probly bothers her the most is that you go a bit away, verses invite him in, say hello, introduce her to him. Let her see him...as it is, you're "hiding" him around the corner..(that's how she sees it). Show him to her as if your proud of your relationship whatever its like. She is worried you think she wouldn't approve or you wouldn't go outside to visit. She feels "left out" as your family while you entertain this "stranger" Make him less of a stranger to her and she may lighten up. She sounds like a loving parent.
They never stop caring.
Busterbuns
2007-10-30 00:38:39 · answer #10 · answered by busterbuns 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋