Should we pay child support? I just want to know what other people think… here is the story:?

Question

My husband had a child 7years ago with a girl. We have my stepson 4days a week, she has him 3, Tue, Wen, Thr, not the weekends! She has to party. She has anther son by anther guy, he has custody, but she gets the kid a few days a week. That guy gives her money to help her out. She just had anther baby by anther guy, well she is still testing guys to find the Dad but she thinks she knows who it is. She is 30 & has never worked a day in her life. She feels a Mom should be home with her kids, I’m all for that if she was home with the kids! So she was never married to my hubby, we have no custody agreement, We pay for everything, she has brought us receipts for $6 before b/c she wanted to buy him something & felt we should pay. We cover all medical, school, anything and everything. In our state it’s 50/50 if we have him 50% of the time. We have him more so technically she should be paying us! BUT she has been demanding that we pay her support! What do you think we should do?

Answer 1

Nobody "has" to party... she chooses to party instead of caring for her child.

Document EVERYTHING!!!! Keep track of what is spent on the child, the times you have him, the times she parties, etc. I think you should get a lawyer or go down to your local court house and petition the court for full custody and child support. She will end up paying your husband child support.

Answer 2

I would seek out a very good lawyer and try to take the child full time, I am normally not one to take a child away from the mother however this mother is using babies to get money and to not work. the child which I am sure is much more your son than hers needs a more stable and suitable life one that will not teach him how to "take" people.
besides the fact that you should not be paying for every little thing I would say that since you are you should just go all the way and go for full custody.

edit:
I fully agree with Snickerd what ever you decide you need to document everything anytime you give that woman money make it a check or money order so you have records write down every penny you are giving her and what for, also keep a calandar so you can show the court how often you have him.
even if you decide not to go for full custody which I still recommend then you need to have all the t's crossed and the I's dotted incase she pulls a fast one and trys for even more money or to take him full time. no matter what you need something from the court managing your agreement before you get the shaft.

Answer 3

From what I've read your husband made a bad choice 7 years ago. I know that you both love his little boy. Now your husband is providing support for more than 7months out the year and basically takes care of everything. I wouldn't pay her support, but it is all about what the courts say. Now if you can get some type of agreement, you may be able to use it in court. But we both know that if she is granted support, she will blow it. Hopefully any judge in his/her right mind will she that your husband is already providing support for his child and not order child support, because honestly its not needed. Does he give her money, if so keep all the receipts. Hopefully you have receipts from years ago. If she is granted child support she may try to get him for back child support. I'm not sure how far back she can go, but she will try. If ya'll can, try to get full custody of him. You know if thats something that you both want to do. Hell ya'll already have him for 4 days. Thats how it is with my boyfriend. He has his little girl 4 days a week (on the weekends) and his baby mama gets to go party. She already doesn't spend time with her. Takes her to daycare at Between 9a and 11a and then she goes to work from 2p to 11p. Her mom picks the baby up from daycare and by time she gets off of work, the baby is sleep and then she doesn't have her on her days off which is the weekend. My man would rather spend the time with his daughter than being out in the streets. Just becasue you buy your child things doesn't mean you love your child. Just because you buy your child things doesn't mean you are showing your child that you love them. I'm rambling. You all seem to have money, hopefully you all have a lawyer. Talk it over with them first and I would be the one to take her to court. Beat her to the punch. Hope I've helped. Baby mama drama. Gotta hate it!!!

Answer 4

I wouldnt pay her a thing! And my suggest to you is to keep ALL receipts of anyhting and everything you get for your son!! I am a little in the same shoes when i started dating my husband his baby momma tried to get him to do everything can you buy him diapers and send them with him this and that and i said NO MORE!!! That was when she was in his life now she dont see him only calls once in a while!!
Anyway back to you.......I would keep all reciepts and dont throw any away and tell her NO dont do it for her anymore and if you feel she is not being a good mother you and DH should go for custody!!! I mean you have to do what is right for the child! just because she gave birth to him dont mean anything it takes much more to be a mom!!!!!!
I hope this helps you some. Stand your ground sweetie!!
Good Luck!!!
Nikki

Answer 5

My mother had the same problem with my father's baby's mother (that's a long story) and we did this: we drew up an agreement that made both of our parties liable to a certain extent: The boys were allowed to spend Summer and Christmas with her, if she paid for the trip there and my parents paid for the trip back. She had to book the going and return flights and then send us the reciept, we would then reimburse her the difference: this made her financianlly responsible for them, and only after she paid for the tickets was she reimbursed.

Then, we calculated their care from taxes, receipts, and banking statments. After we came up with the ammount, we calculated that amount with how much the boys are with us (they are with us 9 months out of the year, so we're entitled to support). We then had a lawyer draw up a formal aggreement and sent it to her to sign within "x" amount of days, or we would take her to court. So far, she has not held up her end of the deal, so we don't hold up ours. You have to show her you mean business, and if she can't be trusted wth the child on a weekend, perhaps you should look into full custody. If you don't want to do that, begin gathering reciepts, banking statements, taxes, etc. and start trying to estimate how much you spend on him Monthly and weekly. And try to hire a lawyer to begin drawing up a "nice" agreement with her: simply stating that your household spends X amount of dollars on him weekly and have him four days (take into account that weekends you spend more on him, because he is not in school). And that she needs to supply him with certain things, and you cannot be financially responsible for him the day you don't have him.

If she tries to play hardball, take her to court. She doesn't work, how is she supporting him and her other children? Call attention to those reciepts and tax returns from, before. And make sure to reiterate the amount of time she actually spends with her son. Have your lawyer ask what she plans on spending the support funds on.

I hope everything works out for you, I know how hard it is to live with the horrible "baby mama drama" but be smart about it, and please keep the child's best interest at heart and don't involve him emotionally in this battle, and you'll make it.

**Hope that Helps**

Answer 6

HOnestly in that cases and most cases of custody being spilt 50/50 neither side has to pay child support. I don't think you all should have to pay her since you have the child more and if she is such a bad mother, I would see about getting full custody.

Answer 7

You need a lawyer.

If she has no money, then she can't pay you. Perhaps she shouldn't have custody at all? If you don't pay support, will your child's needs be met? That may be more important than what is right.

(I'd try to get custody - this kid is probably going to be trouble as he ages if he doesn't grow up in a more wholesome environment - full time. If he is with you folks, there's no need for support.)

Answer 8

You should seek custody of the child, and not pay that woman a cent. You already are providing the home and the support. She deserves nothing. She is not a mother figure to the child.

Answer 9

It was be so easy to prove her as an unfit mother.
I would hire a lawyer and go for full custody since you have him most of the time anyway.

He is 7 years old. he's now old enough to see stuff. He is absolutly not in a good environment with his mother don't you think?

I'd go for full custody. start making notes on the times you get him, what he looks like when you get him, take his picture for proof.
Start documenting the dirt on her to make your case and to make it happen quickly.

Talk to your husband about this of course.
Do you love him enough to bring him into your home on a full time basis to offer him the stability he deserves?

She can demand all she wants, sounds like that's her way of living. but I don't see it happening, but better get something in writing soon.

Ignore her temper tantrums and start getting something done. also talk to the boy in a round about way to see what's going on in his home life with mommy . How are his grades in school?

She sounds like a baby making machine scammer and someone needs to stop her. The court system can help.

Good luck ~

Answer 10

Take HER to court and see what the judge says. Really he shouldn't have to pay for everything especially because she is not/never was married to him. The state will have a good workout for it and that way if she has a problem with spending 6 friggin bucks on her kid, she can go talk to the Judge again :)
Good luck!