Everyone says I should "save myself." But they never seem to say that to the guys. If girls are supposed to save themselves, and guys are supposed to be experienced, who are these guys going to get their experience with? How can you say girls should save themselves but guys shouldn't? If this is just a sexist prejudice, why should I pay any attention? Or is there more to it?
2007-10-29 15:09:40 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're right, it is just sexist prejudice. As long as you're being careful and having safe sex, there's no reason you shouldn't enjoy yourself. People will try to talk all around it, but when it comes down to it, there's still a big fat double standard and there's no reason why you or any woman should put up with it.
2007-10-29 15:13:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
DO WHAT YOU FEEL DONT SAVE YOURSELF BECAUSE PEOPLE SAY SAVE YOURSELF, IF YOU WANT MORE EXPERIENCE THEN GET MORE EXPERIENCE, YES IT IS VERY SEXIST IT LIKE THAT CHRISTINA AGUILERA SONG:
So what am i not supposed to say what i'm saying
Are you offended with the message i'm bringin'
Call me whatever 'cause your words don't mean a thing
Cuz you ain't even a man enough to handle what i sing
If you look back in history it's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory, the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore
I don't understand why its OK,
The guy can get away with it while any girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make a change
2007-10-29 15:15:51 · answer #2 · answered by melinda k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys should wait as well, in a perfect world. A guy doesn't necessarily have to be experienced to be good at it....you can learn together. I think the better word/phrase would be to respect yourself, or no one else will. If you have sex with someone who is not 'special' and who doesn't care for you as much as you do for him, then you are losing a part of yourself that you can never get back to a guy who doesn't care about how that will hurt you. Any guy who is special enough should care about your feelings and convictions. If your conviction is that you will wait until the time is right, then he is not 'special' if he is trying to pressure your or convince you that you should have sex with him. I am not saying that you will wait until marriage or that you should, but you should definately weigh the options b/c. sex is a very serious, intimate act that females usually save for someone very special. Guys, on the other hand, don't seem to have these same chemical reactions to sex. Many times for guys, sex is just sex and, while they may like the girl, love or commitment are not a part of the act. If you give yourself to the wrong guy or too soon, you have to ask yourself how you will feel about yourself if he dumps you the next day.....will it have been worth it? Will it make you feel awful about yourself? No guy will love you more because you give him sex. He may stick around a bit longer for the benefits, but he won't respect you and I fear you might not respect yourself if you didn't hold out for someone meaningful. good luck!!
2007-10-29 15:24:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a personal choice for you to make. Generally saving yourself revolves around religious beliefs. If this is not a problem for you as it is not for a great number of people worldwide then there seems to be no good reason to wait. As you have figured out much of this talk revolves around sexism, and is a very definite double standard. If we all decided to withhold sex from men until marriage you can be sure attitudes would change very fast.
2007-10-29 15:23:36 · answer #4 · answered by K K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Alright,
the reason why they tell girls to save it is because guys half the time don't find meaning in sex. also because sex is soo much better when you have sex with the person you love with then a boyfriend. thats why its best to wait in tell your married. and guys are more turned on in a virgin then a more experienced woman. also theres not so much of a rick of catching something. honestly i prefer a virgin man over a experience one because i know theres a lot less risk of getting a diseases and i can show him the trick of the trade. but its not sexist its just that we want sex to have more meaning then men. and when you do find the love of your life and do give him your special gift "virginity" he will appreciate it and take it and use it wisely. unlike a boyfriend of yours or "**** buddy" who will just abuse it.
hope i helped
love,
:)
2007-10-29 15:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Saving yourself is somewhat idealistic and unrealistic. Sure there are virgin brides, but damn few. This may be sexist crap but I think the reason is that the girls have much more to lose in a pregnancy situation so parents are much more likely to give the daughters the abstinence message than boys.
2007-10-29 15:16:31 · answer #6 · answered by Jim J 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
From personal experience, guys get told that as well. I think the emphasis is on girls because guys, well...stop thinking when they get turned on, and we turn into animals.
Think of it as a compliment - you're able to think twice, guys are morons. :D
There's more to it than that: girls have more to lose. If you get pregnant at age 16, how likely is it that the guy is going to stick around? How likely is it that he'd make a good husband anyways? You can't hide being pregnant, but he can hide being a father.
2007-10-29 15:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by Dilettante 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is hypocritical that guys can be experienced if they have a multiple number of sexual partners and girls are considered sluts.
You don't necessarily have to save yourself for someone special, but I can tell you that you'll remember the first guy you have sex with for the rest of your life, so, it becomes a special memory, if you lost your virginity to someone that meant something to you.
2007-10-29 15:15:15 · answer #8 · answered by concerned neighbor 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Once upon a time virginity was a virtue. That seems to have gone the way of the 15 cent subway ride. In this "brave new world" you have to decide for yourself what YOU want to do. Experience you learn fast.
2007-10-29 15:19:48 · answer #9 · answered by cattbarf 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok, my opinion...
my cousin waited, i did not. i was forced to have sec my first time, so it wasnt a big deal to me after that...it was something i felt i had to do. we both turned out ok, and im not sure how she feels, but at some points, i wish i had not had sex with as many people as i had. there are a few however, taht im glad i got experiene with and its all really a personal thing. its your beliefs and desires. dont take it overboard. what does your religion say? wait until you are with someone you care about thats my only advice...you wont look back and say that you were used. ect. you will look back on it as if it were a good experiemce
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2007-10-29 15:18:01 · answer #10 · answered by 00000 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋